Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I told my DD that only two things would make me disown her: if she joined the military or a sorority.

Wow---can't believe this hasn't gotten any responses before mine. I did both--sorority in undergrad and commissioned as a military officer after graduation. Glad my parent's love and support wasn't so conditional!

She posts anti-military rants every chance she gets. I catch myself feeling really sorry for her and for her kids, if she actually has kids. She is seeking attention. I think a lot of people have just learned to ignore her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, as we used to say -- if you can't make friends, I guess you can buy them (by paying dues and joining a sorority).

Seems flaky and weird to me, but I'm from the NE -- I hear that sororities are sort of de rigueur for southerners?

This reflects a profound misunderstanding of sorority selection process. The implication is that sororities are open to anyone willing to pay the price. The reality is that while the cost can be an obstacle that prevents some from joining a sorority, the real obstacle is receiving a “bid,” i.e., being asked to join the sorority. Sorority rush can be very humbling and leaves many scarred for life (including, perhaps, some on this thread). There is no point in defending Greek-life in a forum composed of those who already out of college – our views are very unlikely to change. I would simply caution anyone who thinks they can buy their DD a spot in the top sororities to be prepared to be humbled.

NP adding onto this, there are some schools where everyone who goes through the entire rush process will get a bid to somewhere. It may not be to your top choice sorority, but if you want to join a sorority you can.

To my understanding, at most schools with active Greek systems there are sororities that range from highly selective/desirable to “we’ll take almost anyone.” For those who fail to make the cut for the “top tier” sororities, the bid process becomes a measure of one’s ability to endure what some feel is humiliation. Even so it’s probably not fair to accuse even those who accept bids at the lowest tier sororities of “buying friends.” The rush process is generally pretty good at placing students in appropriate groups. The most virulent anti-Greek sentiment generally comes from those displeased with the results of the rush process, not those who never tried.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, as we used to say -- if you can't make friends, I guess you can buy them (by paying dues and joining a sorority).

Seems flaky and weird to me, but I'm from the NE -- I hear that sororities are sort of de rigueur for southerners?

This reflects a profound misunderstanding of sorority selection process. The implication is that sororities are open to anyone willing to pay the price. The reality is that while the cost can be an obstacle that prevents some from joining a sorority, the real obstacle is receiving a “bid,” i.e., being asked to join the sorority. Sorority rush can be very humbling and leaves many scarred for life (including, perhaps, some on this thread). There is no point in defending Greek-life in a forum composed of those who already out of college – our views are very unlikely to change. I would simply caution anyone who thinks they can buy their DD a spot in the top sororities to be prepared to be humbled.

NP adding onto this, there are some schools where everyone who goes through the entire rush process will get a bid to somewhere. It may not be to your top choice sorority, but if you want to join a sorority you can.

Anonymous wrote:Well, as we used to say -- if you can't make friends, I guess you can buy them (by paying dues and joining a sorority).

Seems flaky and weird to me, but I'm from the NE -- I hear that sororities are sort of de rigueur for southerners?

This reflects a profound misunderstanding of sorority selection process. The implication is that sororities are open to anyone willing to pay the price. The reality is that while the cost can be an obstacle that prevents some from joining a sorority, the real obstacle is receiving a “bid,” i.e., being asked to join the sorority. Sorority rush can be very humbling and leaves many scarred for life (including, perhaps, some on this thread). There is no point in defending Greek-life in a forum composed of those who already out of college – our views are very unlikely to change. I would simply caution anyone who thinks they can buy their DD a spot in the top sororities to be prepared to be humbled.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Says my 16 year old as we begin the college search process. Would you support this? I'm not sure how I feel about Greek life. I went to a tiny liberal arts college where maybe 5% of the population was Greek so no real experience.

I went to a top 15 school and was in a sorority. Do it again. Was a good way to meet people who I would not have otherwise.

+1 It was a wonderful experience and I would do it again in a heartbeat. Some of my sorority sisters are still my closest friends 30+ years after graduating college.

Anonymous wrote:Says my 16 year old as we begin the college search process. Would you support this? I'm not sure how I feel about Greek life. I went to a tiny liberal arts college where maybe 5% of the population was Greek so no real experience.

I went to a top 15 school and was in a sorority. Do it again. Was a good way to meet people who I would not have otherwise.

I went to a big 10 school with one of the largest Greek systems in the country. I couldn't imagine pledging to a sorority.

Of course I knew people who got a lot out of it but - especially for girls there's a huge element of trading on sexuality. There's a lot of pressure to date guys from the top Frats and the negotiations for which houses will have socials with whom is really something out of the 50s. The girls get set up on lots of dates and imagine some of it is really fun, but for houses that want to move up, there is pressure to hook up with the guys from the Frats that can improve your social rankings.

If you can navigate the negatives there is a lot of fun to be had. There are lots of social events bbqs formals spring break trips. It's also true that the girls help each other out everything from fake Ids to term papers are easily accessible. Many of the girls in a house will have similar majors and take classes together so they can collaborate on HW and projects meaning they don't need to spend as much time studying. My friend's house had a database of past exams for all the accounting classes - that made studying much easier! They also had a shoebox of drivers licenses from the seniors. She joked that was the reason that they were so strict about the type of girl that they could accept - they all had to have the same "look" for the fake Ids.

Anonymous wrote:Sororities are for stupid girls.

Sure, believe what you like. Daughter is a member of sorority at H/Y/P where the average GPA is 3.8 and two girls were Rhodes or Fullbrights last year.

Anonymous wrote:Says my 16 year old as we begin the college search process. Would you support this? I'm not sure how I feel about Greek life. I went to a tiny liberal arts college where maybe 5% of the population was Greek so no real experience.

I don't like exclusive clubs.

Sororities are for stupid girls.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, as we used to say -- if you can't make friends, I guess you can buy them (by paying dues and joining a sorority).

Seems flaky and weird to me, but I'm from the NE -- I hear that sororities are sort of de rigueur for southerners?

Breathe. You sound bitter.

I've always found anti-Greek girls are general unattractive and were unpopular.

Anonymous wrote:Seriously? You would try to dictate whether your college aged child joins a sorority? I could see telling someone you weren't going to pay for it, but I really couldn't see micromanaging which clubs she joins.

+1

My college-aged kids are adults. They can do as they like. I can choose to pay for it, or not.

Anonymous wrote:I told my DD that only two things would make me disown her: if she joined the military or a sorority.

Wow---can't believe this hasn't gotten any responses before mine. I did both--sorority in undergrad and commissioned as a military officer after graduation. Glad my parent's love and support wasn't so conditional!

Seriously? You would try to dictate whether your college aged child joins a sorority? I could see telling someone you weren't going to pay for it, but I really couldn't see micromanaging which clubs she joins.

It's a lot of money to shell out between dues and having the right clothes to wear to functions, etc. If you can afford it, and she wants to do it, then go for it. But be warned of the $$ issue if it is an issue.