that is great that your satisfaction is so linked to your partner. not all men are like that. I posted earlier about my marriage to a person who was not satisfying me. He didn't care about it either, he had his hangups, like oral was gross, and that was the way it was. He only provided me with any pleasure, like even touching me downtown with his fingers, because I told him without that I am not ready. He didn't want to, but had to. He was only interested in what he felt, not me. After 10 years of marriage, that was clear.

I on the otherhand am more like you, just giving someone pleasure is a turn on! My ex was the opposite, he would actually lose his erection while turning me on - because it wasn't pleasurable to him directly. It was terrible.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, you say this like that's all it takes. If someone sucks at oral and finds your fantasies unpalatable, then that's how it is. You can't pretend that their technique is good when it isn't.

Every woman reacts differently. Technique can be taught. For crying out loud, people have been having sex for thousands of years. It's not rocket science.

The priority of female satisfaction in sex hasn't really been a priority during these thousands of years except the last fifty years.

Guy here,

I don't buy this argument. For as long as I have sought my own satisfaction, my greatest turn on and satisfaction is giving my partner a mind blowing orgasm.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, you say this like that's all it takes. If someone sucks at oral and finds your fantasies unpalatable, then that's how it is. You can't pretend that their technique is good when it isn't.

Every woman reacts differently. Technique can be taught. For crying out loud, people have been having sex for thousands of years. It's not rocket science.

The priority of female satisfaction in sex hasn't really been a priority during these thousands of years except the last fifty years.

No, that is not my point at all. Saying your partner is no good at (fill in the blank) just puts the onus for your satisfaction on the other party.

Fulfilling sex is a huge part of a lasting relationship. My point is for OP to try a different way of thinking about the problem. That may leave to different behaviors and outcomes.

If she (or in many scenarios, it could be the guy) can't or won't try that, then the attitude over time will become cruel. I believe that is unfair.

The attitude, "I will do what it takes..." Leaves a lot of room for possibility.

If the attitude is "he's a great guy, but he'll neverake my toes curl" then the possible outcomes are narrow. The relationship will fold or two people will be trapped in a situation that could become miserable.

sex is easy to fix you women are stupid

Anonymous wrote:PP, you say this like that's all it takes. If someone sucks at oral and finds your fantasies unpalatable, then that's how it is. You can't pretend that their technique is good when it isn't.

Every woman reacts differently. Technique can be taught. For crying out loud, people have been having sex for thousands of years. It's not rocket science.

PP, you say this like that's all it takes. If someone sucks at oral and finds your fantasies unpalatable, then that's how it is. You can't pretend that their technique is good when it isn't.

Anonymous wrote:And I've been having dreams of my ex. Ex was a jackass and I don't want to be with him but the sex was amazing. I love my bf but he lasts about 2 mins in bed. He is amazing to me and I want to be with him for life but how do I get past this constant craving for sexual satisfaction. I will not cheat on him.

This thread is really sticking me hard, and I think I've worked out why. To me, the OP's sentiment is selfish and therefore unfair to the person she professes to love.

The way it is framed, OP places the responsibility for her sexual fulfillment squarely on her BF's shoulders. I immediately felt for the guy here. To hear, "I love you, but your don't satisfy me" is about as big of a blow an SO can deliver.

Instead of just the usual "he should up his game" trope, how about recognizing some mutual responsibility for the health of the relationship?

What if the OP thought, "Because I love him, I will..."

...be the one who initiates sex.

...send a hot text during the day to help build my own anticipation.

...say, put your tongue exactly where I want it.

...compliment him on his prowess.

...play out one of my fantasies with him, but without asking first. I'll just do it for the adventure.

You never know, your own inhibitions may inhibit him. Can you do things that you enjoy while simultaneously building his confidence?

Being game, giving, and committed to making things better are worthwhile manifestations of the love you profess. Who knows that kind of willingness as opposed to thinking, "he doesn't do it for me" may be magical.

To feel that way and not tell him (or work on a solution yourself) is incredibly unfair to him. You will leave him wondering why he can't please you, resentment may grow, and you'll be denying him one of the most powerful joys of a relationship (the confidence that your partner has chosen you as a fulfilling lover).

If you can't do that, you need to tell him so that he can make his own choice about staying with you. As painful as that may be, he has the same right to happiness and joy in his relationship as you do.

Anonymous wrote:Deal breaker for me. The sex won't get better with time.

Not for you, anyway.

Anonymous wrote:No husband wants to be the man you love as a provider, yet want to fuck someone else.

Man here,

I seem to be on a roll, finding all of these posts. I can anonymously admit that I'm pretty "meh" in bed. I wish it weren't so, but it is. I learned after her affair that my ex-wife only put up with it because I was "an amazing husband." She proposed having a pass to get her rocks off. I proposed a divorce. I think any decent guy will try to get better, but if he doesn't you'll either have to fake it or his ego is going to be crushed.

Good men (and women) are hard to find, but so is sexual compatibility. The two aren't mutually exclusive. Find a partner who can give you both. Don't settle for just one.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No husband wants to be the man you love as a provider, yet want to fuck someone else.

This. Exactly.

It is a totally horrible way to live. Feels like being a human ATM and is devaluing.

Anonymous wrote:No husband wants to be the man you love as a provider, yet want to fuck someone else.

This. Exactly.

No husband wants to be the man you love as a provider, yet want to fuck someone else.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He needs to work on his skills. There are books he can read, pills he can take, and toys he can buy. You need to help him learn to satisfy you.

+1. Are the rest of you guys all missing the part where she says she really loves him and he's wonderful and trying to get better at pleasing her? Come on, ladies, are wonderful men really growing on trees? Right. No. They are not. It's so easy to tell other people to dump/divorce/walk out on their S.O.'s, but here in the real world where love is not so easy to find, there are less scorched-earth ways to work on problems.

DH here: please don't do this. I don't think many of the women here recognize this, but it is literally soul-killing to be the husband of a woman who loves you and thinks you are a wonderful man, but has no sexual interest. It is a terrible, terrible situation to put a man in.

Yes, those of us who are in your shoes (sexless marriage) do understand what a terrible situation it is. We're not bitter - we're miserable, just like you. That's why we're advising OP to be so careful.

buy one of these op

http://www.amazon.com/Magic-Wand-Original-Hv-260-Model/dp/B00D433KC0/ref=sr_1_1?s=hpc&ie=UTF8&qid=1426187466&sr=1-1&keywords=hitachi+magic+wand