Your mother is responsible for the consequences of her choices. Not you. I hope you have seen a therapist so that you can really internalize that it is not your fault.

I agree, my mother's selfish behavior has become more clear to me now that I am a mother. It gives you a new perspective on what is reasonable.

I feel a certain level of responsibility because she has never held down a full time job. I think she's too scared to do it for fear she will fail.

My brother (20s) has been doing it and he needs the space to be a man and try to find a woman that isn't his mother. She treats him very differently than she treats my sister and I, so I can understand why he is willing to take on the responsibility. I feel a responsibility to my brother to not leave him to do this alone.

I have no doubt she resents us for taking away part of her childhood, but I don't feel like it's our fault. We were born and acted like children. I'm not sure why that outcome was a surprise to her. The idea is slightly more offensive since I've become a mother.