Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I appreciate everyone's thoughts - the range of perspectives has helped me to get out of my own head. Thanks to all...

OP if I were you I would cut off sex entirely. If you are doing it for his benefit, and he can't even give you an enthusiastic "it's awesome" than maybe he isn't interested and you can tone it down. I bet that will respark his interest...

WTF PP, I hope you go win the lotto so you can buy a clue and then you can give up your lifetime membership to the old hags club

This is why sex before marriage is a must.

Your DH sounds like a saint, frankly. After waiting until marriage for sex, he stands by you while you work out your sexual issues. Puts up with being woken up after midnight for sex (not once in awhile, but always) simply to accomodate your fickle sex moods. Does this even through shitty sleep cycles with baby. Tells you having sex at ungodly hours is fine, even though, let's face it, it's not ideal and the man is tired. Kindly upgrades this to saying he appreciates it, and then tells you the sex is great, when you tell him "fine" isn't good enough.

Do you want him to beg for it, after all he's already put up with?

Take a step back and rethink this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I appreciate everyone's thoughts - the range of perspectives has helped me to get out of my own head. Thanks to all...

OP if I were you I would cut off sex entirely. If you are doing it for his benefit, and he can't even give you an enthusiastic "it's awesome" than maybe he isn't interested and you can tone it down. I bet that will respark his interest...

I think OP's husband shut cut off all conversation entirely. If she can't accept an honest compliment ("great" .. "awesome") but instead gets all hurt by even these affirmative words, then maybe he should just stop talking to her and ignore everything she says.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you're a very strong person for learning to do things differently in your life. Whether your feelings are justifiable by someone else's reckoning isn't the important point. The important point is that you are able to share your feelings, fears, and vulnerability with your husband. Neither of you are going to be "right" every time, and that's ok. Doesn't mean he doesn't love and value you and vice versa. You have no idea how impressed I am by what you are a

Meant to finish: able to do in your relationship!

Hi Op's husband. You are so sweet!

No, I'm not her husband, just someone who understands first-hand how hard it is to cope with traumatic events in life. Your sarcasm was neither clever nor insightful.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one can say what will bother you or not. So this bothered you. I don't see what's wrong with clarifying exactly where you are in a non confrontational way. I mean what would the consequences be? I'm not sure i agree with the other posters who said you were too sensitive. Actually, I really disagree. You are what you are, no judgment. Your husband should be accepting of where you are coming from.

Geezus h. Crist, I think the posters here should lighten up.

The consequences can be that her husband begins to pull away because he has no idea what to say. He tries to say something nice, he upsets her. He tries to say the sex is good, an she gets upset. I've seen it happen first hand where eventually you stop trying because it's not good enough. Her dh sounds like a good guy for bein patient and understanding with her. But he has feelings and emotions too that are just as important as hers.

That's a stretch. From one conversation to clarify to DH can't handle it and completely rejects her. What a ridiculous reach. I assume we are talking about two people who care about one another. I still don't see a non confrontational explanation resulting in more distance. You don't have me sold of either too sensitive or talking would end up spiraling out of control. She cares enough about being a pleasing partner - it's not a big deal to want affirmation. Wtf.

Totally agree.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I appreciate everyone's thoughts - the range of perspectives has helped me to get out of my own head. Thanks to all...

OP if I were you I would cut off sex entirely. If you are doing it for his benefit, and he can't even give you an enthusiastic "it's awesome" than maybe he isn't interested and you can tone it down. I bet that will respark his interest...

OP here. I appreciate everyone's thoughts - the range of perspectives has helped me to get out of my own head. Thanks to all...