Anonymous wrote:When someone throws in a reference to death, it scares me. We have mutual friends who still live near him. I might contact them. If he is having some suicidal thoughts I'm going to feel pretty shitty if something happens to him and I ignored the signs. I'm no longer pining for him, honestly. I'm totally not interested in him in that way any longer. He's turned me off to that. But, I do care about him. He was a good friend.

I think you are a good person and he's taking advantage of that. Why would you be his first pick to share suicidal thoughts with? He's messing with you to see how much you still care.
Mention what he said to your mutual friends if you just need to clear your conscience. But then wash your hands of it, don't check in on him to make sure he's alright or stuff like that. At this point he's just being manipulative.

This guy sounds immature not evil. Alcohol makes people tell the truth. I'm sure you are not an idiot. I say he does like you and have feelings for you too but he is shy and afraid of the consequences of pursuing you. Have YOU tried initiating? Why don't you say, hey, I miss you too. Let's meet and catch up!

Anonymous wrote:How old are you? It seems odd that an adult would be having a "relationship" over text.

We're not having a relationship over text. We were close work friends for 2 years. I just recently left the area and we have stayed in touch. By text, by phone, and by e-mail.

How old are you? It seems odd that an adult would be having a "relationship" over text.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He e-mailed me last night that he is miserable and "wishes he would die." I asked him about it today and he blew it off and said he's fine, just work stress. What do I do now?

Realize that you had a little backslide and redouble your efforts to stop contact with him. No more responses.

Tell him the next time he contacts you with comments like this, you will call the police and tell them of his suicidal thoughts. (Keep the local police emergency number, not 911 which will be routed to you local first responders)

But like the others have said, block him on everything--be done with him!

When someone throws in a reference to death, it scares me. We have mutual friends who still live near him. I might contact them. If he is having some suicidal thoughts I'm going to feel pretty shitty if something happens to him and I ignored the signs. I'm no longer pining for him, honestly. I'm totally not interested in him in that way any longer. He's turned me off to that. But, I do care about him. He was a good friend.

Anonymous wrote:He e-mailed me last night that he is miserable and "wishes he would die." I asked him about it today and he blew it off and said he's fine, just work stress. What do I do now?

He is testing the line to see if the fish is still on the hook. There are those, men and women, who get a certain satisfaction knowing someone is still interested in, or attracted to, them.

So, spit the bait out and if you need to shift focus for a while kill some time looking for Nemo.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He e-mailed me last night that he is miserable and "wishes he would die." I asked him about it today and he blew it off and said he's fine, just work stress. What do I do now?

Realize that you had a little backslide and redouble your efforts to stop contact with him. No more responses.

+1
See if you can change number, block him etc.

Anonymous wrote:He e-mailed me last night that he is miserable and "wishes he would die." I asked him about it today and he blew it off and said he's fine, just work stress. What do I do now?

Realize that you had a little backslide and redouble your efforts to stop contact with him. No more responses.

He e-mailed me last night that he is miserable and "wishes he would die." I asked him about it today and he blew it off and said he's fine, just work stress. What do I do now?

Anonymous wrote:I'm moving on. I'm proud of myself for not responding to his late night messages anymore. I'm getting out and doing stuff now. But should I tell this guy he needs heLp? I think he will just shrug it off.

If I had responded to your first post I would have recommended what you are now doing...moving on. Moving on in this case is a good thing because while you are looking past the horizon into a city where you no longer live someone great could be walking just under your view. So, now you just might see that person. Good deal!

As for the question above that I bolded, no, do not tell him because odds are it will be as you mentioned, him shrugging it off, or you might find yourself pulled back into the situation.

Best of luck to you!

He may not be intentionally manipulating you, but it's clear he's not advancing the conversation.

Like other PPs have suggested, cut your losses and focus on your new location.

He's getting an ego massage from stringing you along OP.

What is really sad is how much utter disrespect people like the man the OP encountered had. The heart is always vulnerable and to mess with another person's feelings is beyond contempt.

I dated a guy like this. I learned (too late) that I was one of a number of women getting those messages. So far as I can tell, he was using the same lines with all of us. (Yes, even the "L" word.) He strung me along with the hot and cold messages for almost two years. I was younger and dumber then.

He ended up married to the daughter of a very wealthy man - Miss Grey and her $10,000 pounds, my friends all joke. His wedding was even on one of those million dollar wedding TV shows.

Congratulations, OP, on being much smarter than I was. I agree with 16:25 that the only thing to do is ice him out. Block his messages and delete him from your life.