Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents were ten years apart and met when my mother was 21. They were married for 45 years before my mother died. Difference is, the first time my father took her out, my grandmother took down his license plate and told him she'd call the police if he was even 5 minutes late getting her home.

In this case, the mother was clearly pushing the relationship on her beautiful, screwed-up daughter. The mother is the one who ought to be banned for Stanford, and maybe the crackpot therapist too.

That's still creepy for a 31 yo man to be dating a 21 yo woman.

I dated someone who was 12 years older than me when I was starting my senior year at Stanford. It was a wonderful, emotionally and intellectually rewarding relationship, far better than any I'd had with undergrads I'd dated (some of whom I found desperately immature--I was always an old soul). We were together for three years and probably would be married now, were it not for the fact that he knew he didn't want kids and I was pretty sure I did. Leaving for grad school on the East Coast helped me get over him. We parted amicably.
If I had to do it again I'd bypass all the undergrads and date only older men to begin with.

Anonymous wrote:I have another serious question. I have been very disturbed about the coverage lately on consent. It seems that people feel that if a woman is drunk she can not give consent and thus sexual violence has occurred, even if both parties are impaired. It seems we are leaving it up to the man to decline in that situation and if he does not than he is a rapist. Why is it assumed that the man is able to make a good decision if they are both equally impaired? If both parties are impaired I say that they are both at fault and while regrettable does not constitute rape. Now I am not applying this logic to situations that are less murky such as gang rape or a violent attack, just the date rape standard that it seems most colleges want to adopt.

I feel the same way you do. I am very confused about what consent is in these ambiguous situations, and confused why all the responsibility falls on the man.

This girl sounds like a nutball, and so does her mother. And you know what, if I had been in the same circumstances at 21, I would have probably acted in a similarly crazy fashion. I was also a nutball at 21, and couldn't have handled that kind of relationship, and my mother would have been giving me bad advice all over the place too. Some people just. cannot. handle it. So I feel for her, even though I know she is all over the place.

I have another serious question. I have been very disturbed about the coverage lately on consent. It seems that people feel that if a woman is drunk she can not give consent and thus sexual violence has occurred, even if both parties are impaired. It seems we are leaving it up to the man to decline in that situation and if he does not than he is a rapist. Why is it assumed that the man is able to make a good decision if they are both equally impaired? If both parties are impaired I say that they are both at fault and while regrettable does not constitute rape. Now I am not applying this logic to situations that are less murky such as gang rape or a violent attack, just the date rape standard that it seems most colleges want to adopt.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I don't see the age as an issue


I do. If they are 32 and 40, then no big deal. She was 21 and still in college. He was 29 and a multimillionaire. There was no way this could be a partnership of equals.

Using your logic, multi-millionaires could only be equal partners with other multi-millionaires. Still, it's not like she grew up poor. Her father is an anesthesiologist in FFX County. She had a well established, successful modeling career by the time she was 15. Seems like she was affluent and worldly (virginity not withstanding). They were also in the same age group. My mother (nurse) married my father (doctor) when she was 20 and in nursing school and he was 27. Same age difference, same 'status' as Clougherty and Lonsdale.

Her mother made sure they were introduced and had a relationship before she took the class for which he was a mentor. Both women sounds nutty and vengeful.

That was not the point at all. She was still in college. They were in completely different stages of life.

So multi-millionaires can only date multi-millionaires and women can't date men that have graduated from college. Any other rules? How about famous people can only date other famous people?

If you're going to be willfully obtuse, there's really no sense in arguing with you.

Serious question: When does "being taken advantage of" turn in to rape? If a guy lies to a girl and/or makes false promised in order to get her in to bed (when she would not have otherwise slept with him) -- is that rape?

I think that sort of thing happens all the time. Let's say that the girl does consent to sex at the time (because she believes the guy). Maybe the guy pressures her to have sex, but he doesn't physically force himself on her. It sounds like this can now be construed as rape.

I know I am going to sound old-fashioned here and I am probably showing my age, but don't women have to take some responsibility for their actions? Again, I want to be clear that I am not talking about anyone being physically forced to have sex.

I read through everything but this particular entry really stuck out. https://joelonsdalestatement.files.wordpress.com/2015/01/08-23-12.pdf

You have to scroll to the second page where she writes a multi-page letter explaining why she is so troubled. The whole letter sounds crazy and made up. I am surprised that the NYT did this story at all, it seems to do a disservice to women who have suffered rape because it emphasizes a murky case of he said/she said.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I don't see the age as an issue


I do. If they are 32 and 40, then no big deal. She was 21 and still in college. He was 29 and a multimillionaire. There was no way this could be a partnership of equals.

Using your logic, multi-millionaires could only be equal partners with other multi-millionaires. Still, it's not like she grew up poor. Her father is an anesthesiologist in FFX County. She had a well established, successful modeling career by the time she was 15. Seems like she was affluent and worldly (virginity not withstanding). They were also in the same age group. My mother (nurse) married my father (doctor) when she was 20 and in nursing school and he was 27. Same age difference, same 'status' as Clougherty and Lonsdale.

Her mother made sure they were introduced and had a relationship before she took the class for which he was a mentor. Both women sounds nutty and vengeful.

That was not the point at all. She was still in college. They were in completely different stages of life.

So multi-millionaires can only date multi-millionaires and women can't date men that have graduated from college. Any other rules? How about famous people can only date other famous people?

Start dating when on a more equal level like William and Kate and Zuckerberg and his wife. Not like creepy Prince Charles and Lady Di.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

He was a mentor but not a professor or responsible for her grade. I do think it was bad judgment since one might infer that the level of the help he might offer her could depend on her willingness to have a sexual relationship. But the mom is the real oddball here. Aren't people in Vienna supposed to be more low-key? She sounds like someone you'd find in Georgetown or the Upper East Side.

Not really. We made it here by our own ability and work. We know we do not need to compromise our kids. The social climbers from the burbs do not know better.

That's painting with rather a broad brush. Not everyone wants to live in Georgetown or on the UES.

-- signed, FFV with HHI in the millions who still chooses to live in Virginia.

Never a good idea to have sex with young starstruck virgins. I flew a dimepiece Argentinean into Vegas years ago, but when I realized she was a virgin I slowed down and did everything but.

Seems like she convinced Theresa Sullivan pretty easily.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I don't see the age as an issue


I do. If they are 32 and 40, then no big deal. She was 21 and still in college. He was 29 and a multimillionaire. There was no way this could be a partnership of equals.

Using your logic, multi-millionaires could only be equal partners with other multi-millionaires. Still, it's not like she grew up poor. Her father is an anesthesiologist in FFX County. She had a well established, successful modeling career by the time she was 15. Seems like she was affluent and worldly (virginity not withstanding). They were also in the same age group. My mother (nurse) married my father (doctor) when she was 20 and in nursing school and he was 27. Same age difference, same 'status' as Clougherty and Lonsdale.

Her mother made sure they were introduced and had a relationship before she took the class for which he was a mentor. Both women sounds nutty and vengeful.

That was not the point at all. She was still in college. They were in completely different stages of life.

So multi-millionaires can only date multi-millionaires and women can't date men that have graduated from college. Any other rules? How about famous people can only date other famous people?

Anonymous wrote:She and her mother both sound like whack-a-dos. Joe sounds like a bit of a loser, too -- probably a bit kinky, but not a rapist to me.

None of them sound like people you'd want to know - all products of a culture of unabashed elitism and wealth that only knows how to talk about "your A game," "your C-suite," "perfect 10s" and "top schools" like TJ and Stanford.

She and her mother both sound like whack-a-dos. Joe sounds like a bit of a loser, too -- probably a bit kinky, but not a rapist to me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is what happens in real life when a relationship is looking even remotely similar to "50 shades of grey".

Joke aside, not OK for him to pursue her when she was that young. It is also very hard for women to be in technology. Guys either are either condescending, or hate you if you are really good and kick their ass. She probably thought she found a short cut.

I don't see the age as an issue

I do. If they are 32 and 40, then no big deal. She was 21 and still in college. He was 29 and a multimillionaire. There was no way this could be a partnership of equals.

I can't help but think his money played a big role in her cry of rape.

Maybe it was because she was a good Catholic girl and they didn't get married.

Anonymous wrote:

I don't see the age as an issue


I do. If they are 32 and 40, then no big deal. She was 21 and still in college. He was 29 and a multimillionaire. There was no way this could be a partnership of equals.

Using your logic, multi-millionaires could only be equal partners with other multi-millionaires. Still, it's not like she grew up poor. Her father is an anesthesiologist in FFX County. She had a well established, successful modeling career by the time she was 15. Seems like she was affluent and worldly (virginity not withstanding). They were also in the same age group. My mother (nurse) married my father (doctor) when she was 20 and in nursing school and he was 27. Same age difference, same 'status' as Clougherty and Lonsdale.

Her mother made sure they were introduced and had a relationship before she took the class for which he was a mentor. Both women sounds nutty and vengeful.

That was not the point at all. She was still in college. They were in completely different stages of life.