Anonymous wrote:Interesting responses. When I got married, I threw away all the pictures, cards and letters from exes and sold the jewelry they had given me. For me it felt like letting go of the past, looking forward to the future and moving on.

You must have a pretty shameful past to be that hung up.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting responses. When I got married, I threw away all the pictures, cards and letters from exes and sold the jewelry they had given me. For me it felt like letting go of the past, looking forward to the future and moving on.

Well, my past helped shape who I am so, IMO, there was no need to let go of it. My marriage was not a "fresh start" but was simply the next chapter in the story of me. LOL Different perspectives I guess.

That being said, I did not keep any gifts - just pics, cards and letters.

An awesome perspective if you ask me!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless they're nudes/deliberately sexy pics OR he's looking at them frequently, it's nuts to demand they be thrown out. and if DH threw out stuff of mine without discussion, I'd be furious.

I feel the same way.

You should feel secure enough to let him keep the photos as long as they are not in his nightstand.

Me three.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I found a book of sexy pictures of my dh ex girlfriend. I was too post baby. It really bothered me. So I threw them out and feel so much better.

What is he going to do? Pour a cup of coffee and ask "good morning honey. Have you seen the sexy pictures of mg ex? I can't seem to find them."

Nope. Throw them out.

Guess it bothered you only because she was more attractive and dumped him. Insecurity is so attractive.

I dunno but I lol'd. The PP has a good point!

I think the past should be in the past. What is the point of keeping these "cherished memories"? Should've married the other person if that was the case.

Anonymous wrote:I will never understand the mentality on here where keeping pictures or in touch with old lovers is this thing to be cherished and brandied as showing maturity and a lack of jealousy. One of the best ways to stay out of trouble is to keep the past in the past.

I guess. Some of us are not ashamed of our past though. I don't cherish pictures as some romantic keepsake and I do not keep in touch with my exes. I have thrown pics out and I have kept some. I have thrown cards out and I have kept some. My parents still have a prom pic with me and my ex displayed in their home along with my wedding picture. I am a person with a history and I am not going to hide it or downplay it. My DH knows waht time it is and he knows me exes are exes for a reason. We have shared all those stories.

Anonymous wrote:Geez, I still have photos of my XH, wedding pics, etc. My DH also has a box of photos of his exes and old love letters, etc. It's just memories from the past, what's the big deal??

OP, my DH's first wife was pretty and thin. Now I am schlumpy after our second child, trying to lose the weight, but sure I feel insecure.

He still has her pictures, but it is just life. He adores me and our family. In fact when she recently came up (we were talking about a dog he once owned with her) his only comment was "there is a reason why I am no longer married to XXX." Actually, there are many.

You are likely hormonal, tired, and insecure about your body right now. You can accept that. But you do need to recognize those things and let it go. Pour your energy into your family and be grateful for your amazing DH.

P.S. I still have a t-shirt and pictures of the ridiculously hot guy I was with for several years in my 20s. But there is NO way I would want to be married to him even though the sex was amazing and he was intelligent, fascinating and generally even nice. Thank GOODNESS I have my husband. I am guessing your DH probably thinks similar thoughts about you.

I will never understand the mentality on here where keeping pictures or in touch with old lovers is this thing to be cherished and brandied as showing maturity and a lack of jealousy. One of the best ways to stay out of trouble is to keep the past in the past.

OP, if she was frumpy, would it have made you feel better about it? It's how DH feels about her, or used to that is the reason he kept them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I found a book of sexy pictures of my dh ex girlfriend. I was too post baby. It really bothered me. So I threw them out and feel so much better.

What is he going to do? Pour a cup of coffee and ask "good morning honey. Have you seen the sexy pictures of mg ex? I can't seem to find them."

Nope. Throw them out.

Guess it bothered you only because she was more attractive and dumped him. Insecurity is so attractive.

+1. Also, even if he does not ask you what happened to them, if he notices they are missing, he will know what happened and may have a hard time trusting you afterward. I would.

Anonymous wrote:I found a book of sexy pictures of my dh ex girlfriend. I was too post baby. It really bothered me. So I threw them out and feel so much better.

What is he going to do? Pour a cup of coffee and ask "good morning honey. Have you seen the sexy pictures of mg ex? I can't seem to find them."

Nope. Throw them out.

Guess it bothered you only because she was more attractive and dumped him. Insecurity is so attractive.

Anonymous wrote:Unless they're nudes/deliberately sexy pics OR he's looking at them frequently, it's nuts to demand they be thrown out. and if DH threw out stuff of mine without discussion, I'd be furious.

I feel the same way.

You should feel secure enough to let him keep the photos as long as they are not in his nightstand.

My husband is the sweet and forgetful type. I found photos of an old girlfriend naked in a tub. She was tastefully covering herself. She was very curvy. (I'm not.) They were in an old photo album I was looking through and I think he had completely forgotten they were there.

I told my husband I found them and made a joke about how much more awesome I am in every way. After I stuck them back in the album.

I just don't think it's that weird that he would have some old photos. I think having to throw away all evidence that either of you were ever with another person is pretty insane.

Look at your current life. Your actual, real life. Is your husband a devoted and loving partner? Is he loyal and does he treat you well? If yes, then who gives a shit about some old photos.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Obviously not as sophisticated as typical DCUM posters who think it is just great to be married and stay in touch with people you have slept with, but why would I want my spouse to keep letters that could potentially be found? I understand having a former life, but do these aspects have to be kept under the same roof?

What's the big deal if the spouse found them? It's not like there are trade secrets in there. I'm guessing my spouse would be amused and thing nothing more of it.

If I ever found pictures of my wife with an ex, say in a bikini with her arm around the guy, I would bang her like a wild man that same night. Sometimes you just have to show her what you are made of.

What if you found pictures if a half naked dude solo?

Anonymous wrote:This happened to me, OP. Granted it was a few months after we moved in together but it upset me nonetheless. He threw away all the pictures of the ex and kept the ones of only himself. It still bothered me because I know WHO took them but oh well.

Christ, you really do have some jealousy issues