Anonymous wrote:You are all nuts, And raising such spoiled kids! Unbelievable! I am being serious. Where do you all com from? there is no way my kids are going to grow up with such high standards and entitlement. School comes first, family time comes second, and if you really want extra, you'll have to earn it. I didn't grow up in the states, and all this stress and expectations sound over the top. I am glad I don't have the need to keep up with anybody.

+1

People rationalizing spending $20K a year per kid could keep their kid home to volunteer instead of thousands on camps. You know, maybe help out families that don't even make 20K total in a year.

You are all nuts, And raising such spoiled kids! Unbelievable! I am being serious. Where do you all com from? there is no way my kids are going to grow up with such high standards and entitlement. School comes first, family time comes second, and if you really want extra, you'll have to earn it. I didn't grow up in the states, and all this stress and expectations sound over the top. I am glad I don't have the need to keep up with anybody.

I definitely thought I'd save more than I am. Unfortunately salary has not really increased, but costs for things has.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:More expensive? Not necessarily. But you probably won't realize a huge savings over preschool/daycare.

This. The reasons for the costs change that's all. You spend more in food, their clothes cost quite a bit more, there are expenses associated with extra curricular etc.

I don't know that it is more expensive per se but don't expect to save much.

Right, it really is this. I think people DO expect to save more, but then it doesn't pan out so somehow it seems more expensive. The costs saved with public school are eaten up by summer childcare, activities, and growing appetites.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a hard time believing that my two kids will require $3000+ in expenses when they are older.

You are right in not believing that. They will require a lot more than 3K! That is my summer camp budget for one of my kids - and it is not a lavish one!

That is your fault. Summer camp is a luxury. You are paying people to watch your kids all summer instead of taking care of them yourself.

You are an asshole. Should children of working parents be stuck at home doing nothing all summer? That is a recipe for disaster. A sitter is as expensive as camp. Except for teachers, I don't know any parents who have the same amount of time off as their kids over the summer.

Camp may be considered a luxury but did you know how important summertime enrichment is to retaining learning, even if unrelated? One of the prime reasons that poorer children fall behind is the summertime regression from lack of activity.

Seriously. The PP who is seeking out fun, enriching summer camps for her kids is taking care of them.

It never fails to amaze me how far some people reach to create a WOHM vs. SAHM debate where there was none.

It seems that the people saying that the older kids are more expensive fall into one of two camps: (1) those who were not paying for full-time childcare before school ages; or (2) those who have their school-aged children in private school. It seems to me that if you were paying for full-time childcare and are going to use public school, there is no way that the school ages will be more expensive unless you are making some indulgent choices about your children's lifestyle.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a hard time believing that my two kids will require $3000+ in expenses when they are older.

You are right in not believing that. They will require a lot more than 3K! That is my summer camp budget for one of my kids - and it is not a lavish one!

That is your fault. Summer camp is a luxury. You are paying people to watch your kids all summer instead of taking care of them yourself.

This isn't 1950s white America. It's a luxury to be able to afford having one parent home.

It is not a luxury. Women wanted to work too and the inflation adjusted for two-parent working families. And many people around here claiming they have to work and only spend 2hrs a day max with their kid also drive luxury cars, name brand everything and live in a 7 figure house. They chose that lifestyle which is fine but to say raising a child cost $21K a year is insane. It doesn't.

I think there is some truth to this. Real estate, in particular, is affected by this - and it makes things very hard for a family with one working parent.
A lot of the other stuff is, well, somewhat optional.

I know a working mom who hates, hates, hates her job but keeps going - not to fund retirement, or college, but so that her kids can wear name brands, take trips every month, go snowboarding, and participate in activities every day of the week. Honestly I'm not impressed and it hasn't made her kids happier, more creative, or well-rounded. They are so scheduled that they don't actually have time to practice their instruments that they have lessons for every week. I remember this whenever I'm tempted to feel guilty about not having money for all of these things.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a hard time believing that my two kids will require $3000+ in expenses when they are older.

You are right in not believing that. They will require a lot more than 3K! That is my summer camp budget for one of my kids - and it is not a lavish one!

That is your fault. Summer camp is a luxury. You are paying people to watch your kids all summer instead of taking care of them yourself.

This isn't 1950s white America. It's a luxury to be able to afford having one parent home.

It is not a luxury. Women wanted to work too and the inflation adjusted for two-parent working families. And many people around here claiming they have to work and only spend 2hrs a day max with their kid also drive luxury cars, name brand everything and live in a 7 figure house. They chose that lifestyle which is fine but to say raising a child cost $21K a year is insane. It doesn't.

PP I'm the $21K poster and I spend basically all of my non-working time with my kids. I don't have a social life outside of my kids and work. I don't work to drive fancy cars or live in a 7 figure house. However, I do know that life can be unpredictable and having more financial resources at your disposal is better then fewer ones. What happens if you get divorced or your working spouse becomes ill? Maybe your family has generational wealth to handle these issues but mine doesn't. I'm in my 40's and I know that if one of us had a health issue that we wouldn't have to live in destitution for the rest of our lives. I'm happy with the lifestyle that I am able to provide my family.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a hard time believing that my two kids will require $3000+ in expenses when they are older.

You are right in not believing that. They will require a lot more than 3K! That is my summer camp budget for one of my kids - and it is not a lavish one!

That is your fault. Summer camp is a luxury. You are paying people to watch your kids all summer instead of taking care of them yourself.

This isn't 1950s white America. It's a luxury to be able to afford having one parent home.

It is not a luxury. Women wanted to work too and the inflation adjusted for two-parent working families. And many people around here claiming they have to work and only spend 2hrs a day max with their kid also drive luxury cars, name brand everything and live in a 7 figure house. They chose that lifestyle which is fine but to say raising a child cost $21K a year is insane. It doesn't.

When my kids were infants we paid $18K for childcare each.

Now mine are in grade school...I pay child #1
$2K per year Summer Camp
$8K private school
$4K per year piano
$7K per year driver/after school driver (divided it by two)

$21K

That's just the basics...

The other I pay

$2K per year Summer Camp
$8K private school
$2K per year ballet
$2K per year academic enrichment
$7K per year driver/after school driver (divided it by two)

$21K

That doesn't include braces which both of my children need.

I use to think people were insane when they said older kids were more expensive. Yes the activities my kids participate in/ private school are not necessities but I am so glad that I can provide this to them.

Anonymous wrote:We continued full time care (au pair) when the kids went to school just because of the number of sick days/snow days/teacher work days plus the occasional need for evening coverage. After care did not work for us at all.

The other alternative seems to be to have one parent cut back to help with all of the driving. That was our ultimate solution (after the au pair left) and that was more costly than full time care for infants/toddlers.

This. I had to change my hours dramatically to accommodate a school schedule. You have no idea how lucky you are schedule-wise with daycare. Not only do you have to deal with aftercare, but there is something almost every week that interferes with the school hours.

We continued full time care (au pair) when the kids went to school just because of the number of sick days/snow days/teacher work days plus the occasional need for evening coverage. After care did not work for us at all.

The other alternative seems to be to have one parent cut back to help with all of the driving. That was our ultimate solution (after the au pair left) and that was more costly than full time care for infants/toddlers.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a hard time believing that my two kids will require $3000+ in expenses when they are older.

You are right in not believing that. They will require a lot more than 3K! That is my summer camp budget for one of my kids - and it is not a lavish one!

That is your fault. Summer camp is a luxury. You are paying people to watch your kids all summer instead of taking care of them yourself.

This isn't 1950s white America. It's a luxury to be able to afford having one parent home.

Anonymous wrote:Only on DCUM would you see parents paying this much money to raise their kids. It is disgusting what you all think are necessities.

She didn't ask about necessities. She asked about the money and where it goes.

No, piano isn't a necessity, but my kid really likes it. Summer camp was definitely not a luxury when he was younger. I suppose my son would be fine without his tutor.... but then, I could have bought him bare-bones second rate unlicensed in-house overcrowded day care, too.

You are disgusting, with all your negativity.

orthodontia, tutoring, and they eat a lot.

throw in piano...

more if they are any good at any sport or instrument...

This is before anything goes wrong. I miss more work now with a high schooler than I ever did with a toddler. Elementary are the cheap years.


Nothing ordinary tops daycare, except perhaps college.