OP, you are too young, and you have a child. You need to be alive for a while for your child.

It's sad that your uncle is facing this at age 64 but you cannot risk your life for him, you have other responsibilities.

If you didn't have a child I'd consider it.

Anonymous wrote:You should decide what is best for you, given your risk of diabetes, etc. However, my Grandmother just died in her 90's, having donated a kidney to her teenaged daughter 50 years ago. It was one of the earliest kidney transplants in Virginia. She never had any health complications related to the kidney donation, or living with her one remaining kidney.

Awesome story!

What did the email say OP?

Has your uncle ASKED you to donate? I'm older now and would never even consider asking my niece to donate. She has her whole life ahead of her. I think it is more selfish for a 64 year old to want more life while potentially risking the life of someone who is *only* 40.

Just a thought .

The only person I would donate a kidney to is my kid. MAYBE my brother also

If you decide no, reply back that you have spoken with your doctor and he/she does not feel you are a good candidate at this time. You can leave it at that, mention the diabetes, whatever you feel comfortable with.

OP - You need to discuss this possible choice clearly with your soon-to-be husband as if something happened to you would he then be responsible? I think because your son has already gone through a divorce, will be adjusting to a new husband - no matter how well they get along - that you need consider very carefully "the pressures" you may put on him, too, when he learns if you choose to donate. Besides your possible future health needs given the history of diabetes on at least one side of your family, you need to consider your son's needs, too. Your family unit should be your top priority and not your uncle.

Anonymous wrote:The selfishness of DCUMers always overwhelms me.

Are you reading a different thread?
I only see people advising OP to consider all angles to make an informed decision.

I seriously considered donating part of my liver to my aunt. In the end I decided not to do it though because I still have very young children. The recovery and risks were too much for our family. It was a very tough decision process too.

My aunt did finally get her transplant and is doing much better now. I would have lost it if things didn't turn out better for her.

Anyway, it's a very tough process. I do recommend talking to the nurses/counselors - they can provide a ton of information.

The selfishness of DCUMers always overwhelms me.

How old are your children? I would not consider donating a kidney until my children are adults; I'm a sole parent so it's not a risk I'd assume.

If I had a kid? Never. To my kid? Would do it even if they couldn't anesthetize me.

OP, do you think you will try for another child? Is your brother willing to donate to your uncle?

My neighbor and friend donated a kidney and had no significant health problems. But he doesn't have kids and isn't ever going to. That would be my one reservation - I would not donate at this point, because in the very unlikely chance that there were complications, there would be no one else to care for my child.

Anonymous wrote:

I'm glad this was your experience, but it's hard to say that everyone's experience will be the same.

Did you have a different one? That is the STANDARD approach at all hospitals with a transplant program. There is always an advocate assigned to the donor.

+1

I am active in the donor community and this is 100% correct.