Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get most of these comments. I feel privileged when a friend asks me for help. There's such social pressure to always appear so strong, pulled together, etc.. When someone asks for help, they're showing some vulnerability and trust.
Mutual help is a core part of friendship. Why are so many posters assuming imbalance based on this ONE incident?

OP, your friend shouldn't have brought someone else without checking with you first but chalk that up to being childless and not knowing about the vulnerability of newborns during flu season. You could have handled it a little more graciously, but not a big deal. Brief apology to friend is good enough.

Yes, those childless are so stupid. That's why the childful deem to reserve the manual labor as a special privilege for them.

The guest was in OPs house for an hour with no overt symptoms of a cold. She had to tell OP that she had one. She was very unlikely to be contagious, but even though *gasp* !childless! she somehow knew enough that direct contact, even though asymptomatic AFTER a cold, was likely to be a potential risk and SAID SO.

Helping a friend is a wonderful thing. Being summoned to help (with something that was a petty task to start with, but that's besides the point) because you are single and childless is a little less special.

Anonymous wrote:I don't get most of these comments. I feel privileged when a friend asks me for help. There's such social pressure to always appear so strong, pulled together, etc.. When someone asks for help, they're showing some vulnerability and trust.
Mutual help is a core part of friendship. Why are so many posters assuming imbalance based on this ONE incident?

OP, your friend shouldn't have brought someone else without checking with you first but chalk that up to being childless and not knowing about the vulnerability of newborns during flu season. You could have handled it a little more graciously, but not a big deal. Brief apology to friend is good enough.

Anonymous wrote:Personally, I'd love to hear the other side of things...

"Hey Jane, I know we have plans on Saturday, but my friend Larla emailed saying she needs "help" taking down her Christmas decorations. Do you mind coming with so I have an out? I don't want to be there all day doing her sh*t but I haven't even been over to see the baby yet."

Jane: "seriously? She can't do her own cleaning?"

Friend: "yep. She's hopeless and whacked but I've known her forever. I'll feel bad if I don't at least show, but I don't want to waste a whole day on her crap. Thinking if we go together, she'll either be irritated I brought you and am not paying full attention to her, or at least realize I have other things to do."

Jane: "sure. Babies are cute anyway. If she ends up giving us a hard time, I'll just tell her I have a cold so we need to go."

Friend: thanks! You're the best! We'll just swing in and out, maybe help for a little bit- then we'll go for lunch. Deal?

Anonymous wrote:The OP is a bitch.

Anonymous wrote:OP, people are bring harsh, but you should know that you are completely in the wrong here. You were rude to your friend and her friend, who were doing you a FAVOR - not invited guests to your home.

You should consider apologizing for your over-reaction about the cold germs, begging off as being a nervous FTM. If you don't want to apologize, then you should never mention it again, unless you want people to think you are insane.

Anonymous wrote:Personally, I'd love to hear the other side of things...

"Hey Jane, I know we have plans on Saturday, but my friend Larla emailed saying she needs "help" taking down her Christmas decorations. Do you mind coming with so I have an out? I don't want to be there all day doing her sh*t but I haven't even been over to see the baby yet."

Jane: "seriously? She can't do her own cleaning?"

Friend: "yep. She's hopeless and whacked but I've known her forever. I'll feel bad if I don't at least show, but I don't want to waste a whole day on her crap. Thinking if we go together, she'll either be irritated I brought you and am not paying full attention to her, or at least realize I have other things to do."

Jane: "sure. Babies are cute anyway. If she ends up giving us a hard time, I'll just tell her I have a cold so we need to go."

Friend: thanks! You're the best! We'll just swing in and out, maybe help for a little bit- then we'll go for lunch. Deal?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I ed to know more about this email invite to a group of people to take down decorations.
I think many of us want more information on what exactly this is about.
Did you do an evite?
I'm leaving myself open to the possibility you and your husband are disabled or had a family emergency or something that made this a group effort

Yes, one of had an unexpected injury right after Christmas so we needed the help.

I should have said "asked our friends for help" instead of "invited". But I only asked close friends to help who I would've done the same for if they'd asked me.