Anonymous
12/28/2014 10:47
Subject: "Engagement" ring years after the fact? Yay or nay?
Anonymous wrote:If I were OP's husband I'd be using the $10,000 for my lawyer's retainer about now.
+ 1,000
Anonymous
12/28/2014 10:46
Subject: "Engagement" ring years after the fact? Yay or nay?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:1.5 carats for 10k? Doubt that! You have to spend way more than that for that large of a rock!!
No - cost could be just for carat, if the cut, color, and clarity of the diamond are on a lower rating scale.
Frankly, you are better off buying "less" color and clarity with a good cut and bigger size. Most people can't tell the difference, and jewelers need a loupe to tell the difference. Diamonds don't hold value, so get something impressive and don't worry about "quality."
I always prefer a smaller diamond with a beautiful cut, clarity and color myself. Feels like the diamond just glows in the dark. And the light.
Anonymous
12/28/2014 10:44
Subject: "Engagement" ring years after the fact? Yay or nay?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:1.5 carats for 10k? Doubt that! You have to spend way more than that for that large of a rock!!
No - cost could be just for carat, if the cut, color, and clarity of the diamond are on a lower rating scale.
Frankly, you are better off buying "less" color and clarity with a good cut and bigger size. Most people can't tell the difference, and jewelers need a loupe to tell the difference. Diamonds don't hold value, so get something impressive and don't worry about "quality."
I just helped my brother buy an engagement ring for his fiancee. I did a lot of research, and it was about 20K for the engagement ring with matching band. The diamond is 1.5 carat ideal cut round, VS2 clarity, I color.
Everyone is different, so I recommend the pricescope forum to research what is best for you.
I personally love jewelry, and I think that having a ring that you will enjoy every day is worth it.
Anonymous
12/28/2014 10:35
Subject: Re:"Engagement" ring years after the fact? Yay or nay?
Most people go for expensive anniversary bands, instead. You're coming up on your 20 year anniversary. Get one then.
Anonymous
12/28/2014 10:17
Subject: "Engagement" ring years after the fact? Yay or nay?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:1.5 carats for 10k? Doubt that! You have to spend way more than that for that large of a rock!!
No - cost could be just for carat, if the cut, color, and clarity of the diamond are on a lower rating scale.
Frankly, you are better off buying "less" color and clarity with a good cut and bigger size. Most people can't tell the difference, and jewelers need a loupe to tell the difference. Diamonds don't hold value, so get something impressive and don't worry about "quality."
Anonymous
12/28/2014 10:15
Subject: "Engagement" ring years after the fact? Yay or nay?
Anonymous wrote:OP. we were in the same situation as you and could barely afford our very inexpensive wedding.
Ten years later we were well set, and my very cheap husband gave me a diamond engagement for Christmas. At the time he was managing a number of young people who were getting engaged, and he got involved in discussions about engagement rings. Otherwise I don't think it would have ever occurred to him to buy an engagement ring for me.
I was very surprised and appreciate the ring. However, his economics-based comment on presenting the ring to me was, "I wanted to make sure you were a good store of value before giving you an expensive ring." He is not a romantic but still my nerdy sweetie
That WAS romantic! He's telling you that he got a good deal when you agreed to marry him!
Anonymous
12/28/2014 10:11
Subject: "Engagement" ring years after the fact? Yay or nay?
If I were OP's husband I'd be using the $10,000 for my lawyer's retainer about now.
Anonymous
12/28/2014 09:56
Subject: "Engagement" ring years after the fact? Yay or nay?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I don't think getting the ring is going to give you what you want.
Me either. I think OP feels fundamentally cheated out of some experience or stage she wishes she had had (the young bride who was fawned over with showers and a doting fiancé?) and is maybe feeling a little but bored with marriage and unappreciated. I think the ring will be pretty to look at but she's placing too much importance on it. I think the DH has no idea why this is coming up all of a sudden and, like a man, will treat the ring exactly like a ring and not import all the other stuff onto it that OP has, at which point the ring will simply become a major bone of contention between them.
OP, I guess you feel maybe taken for granted or that your DH is complacent or doesn't love you enough. I think in your mind the ring will prove he does love you like you want him to, but it won't. It will just mean you got a ring. Think of it this way: when a man proposes with a ring, it's simply a tangible thing that represents all the promise of the marriage. You have LIVED the promise. You're still married 15 years later. Get a nice diamond eternity band to celebrate that instead. Frame it to your DH that way. "I would like a diamond band that represents how much we've accomplished in our marriage." That's way more realistic for your stage in life and something I think he could understand. It's also something I think you would really treasure. The diamond ring as make-up engagement ring won't mean to you what you think it will. That time in your life has passed. Honor the stage you're in NOW with a nice piece of jewelry. You'll appreciate it so much more.
This. Every word of this.
Anonymous
12/28/2014 09:50
Subject: "Engagement" ring years after the fact? Yay or nay?
Anonymous wrote:1.5 carats for 10k? Doubt that! You have to spend way more than that for that large of a rock!!
No - cost could be just for carat, if the cut, color, and clarity of the diamond are on a lower rating scale.
Anonymous
12/28/2014 09:39
Subject: Re:"Engagement" ring years after the fact? Yay or nay?
OP,
You do not want the ring, actually, you want a fine piece of jewellery from your husband, now that he can afford it. Not because you are greedy, but because you want his appreciation in a traditional way.
I would suggest, you buy yourself some beautiful pearls. Diamonds are overrated and do not have a good resale value. In jewellery, always buy what appeals to you and your style. I am thinking that since you wear costume jewellery, you have a dramatic style that will not really be served by a diamond ring. You love your DH and your family, but men are obtuse in such things. I totally get you nudging him asking for a engagement ring, because men are used to buying that.
You do not want the ring, actually, you want a fine piece of jewellery from your husband, now that he can afford it. Not because you are greedy, but because you want his appreciation in a traditional way.
I would suggest, you buy yourself some beautiful pearls. Diamonds are overrated and do not have a good resale value. In jewellery, always buy what appeals to you and your style. I am thinking that since you wear costume jewellery, you have a dramatic style that will not really be served by a diamond ring. You love your DH and your family, but men are obtuse in such things. I totally get you nudging him asking for a engagement ring, because men are used to buying that.
Anonymous
12/28/2014 09:32
Subject: "Engagement" ring years after the fact? Yay or nay?
OP. we were in the same situation as you and could barely afford our very inexpensive wedding.
Ten years later we were well set, and my very cheap husband gave me a diamond engagement for Christmas. At the time he was managing a number of young people who were getting engaged, and he got involved in discussions about engagement rings. Otherwise I don't think it would have ever occurred to him to buy an engagement ring for me.
I was very surprised and appreciate the ring. However, his economics-based comment on presenting the ring to me was, "I wanted to make sure you were a good store of value before giving you an expensive ring." He is not a romantic but still my nerdy sweetie
Ten years later we were well set, and my very cheap husband gave me a diamond engagement for Christmas. At the time he was managing a number of young people who were getting engaged, and he got involved in discussions about engagement rings. Otherwise I don't think it would have ever occurred to him to buy an engagement ring for me.
I was very surprised and appreciate the ring. However, his economics-based comment on presenting the ring to me was, "I wanted to make sure you were a good store of value before giving you an expensive ring." He is not a romantic but still my nerdy sweetie
Anonymous
12/28/2014 09:22
Subject: "Engagement" ring years after the fact? Yay or nay?
OP, just stop. You are making me embarrassed to be female.
If you want a giant ring and can afford it, buy it.
If what you want is a certain set of emotions from your husband, tough. You can't make him feel sentimental about a chunk of carbon, and you're wasting everyone's time by trying.
And slamming around pots and pans because he won't buy you a big diamond is about the most teenage thing I've ever heard.
If you want a giant ring and can afford it, buy it.
If what you want is a certain set of emotions from your husband, tough. You can't make him feel sentimental about a chunk of carbon, and you're wasting everyone's time by trying.
And slamming around pots and pans because he won't buy you a big diamond is about the most teenage thing I've ever heard.
Anonymous
12/28/2014 08:36
Subject: "Engagement" ring years after the fact? Yay or nay?
1.5 carats for 10k? Doubt that! You have to spend way more than that for that large of a rock!!
Anonymous
12/28/2014 08:23
Subject: "Engagement" ring years after the fact? Yay or nay?
Anonymous wrote:I don't think getting the ring is going to give you what you want.
Me either. I think OP feels fundamentally cheated out of some experience or stage she wishes she had had (the young bride who was fawned over with showers and a doting fiancé?) and is maybe feeling a little but bored with marriage and unappreciated. I think the ring will be pretty to look at but she's placing too much importance on it. I think the DH has no idea why this is coming up all of a sudden and, like a man, will treat the ring exactly like a ring and not import all the other stuff onto it that OP has, at which point the ring will simply become a major bone of contention between them.
OP, I guess you feel maybe taken for granted or that your DH is complacent or doesn't love you enough. I think in your mind the ring will prove he does love you like you want him to, but it won't. It will just mean you got a ring. Think of it this way: when a man proposes with a ring, it's simply a tangible thing that represents all the promise of the marriage. You have LIVED the promise. You're still married 15 years later. Get a nice diamond eternity band to celebrate that instead. Frame it to your DH that way. "I would like a diamond band that represents how much we've accomplished in our marriage." That's way more realistic for your stage in life and something I think he could understand. It's also something I think you would really treasure. The diamond ring as make-up engagement ring won't mean to you what you think it will. That time in your life has passed. Honor the stage you're in NOW with a nice piece of jewelry. You'll appreciate it so much more.
Anonymous
12/28/2014 08:10
Subject: "Engagement" ring years after the fact? Yay or nay?
I don't think getting the ring is going to give you what you want.