Anonymous wrote:OP here - obviously should've been more specific. We actually haven't forced our friends to do anything. We have left restaurants by ourselves, done our own meals mostly, and handled naptime alone while everyone does their thing. It's really mostly just that the friends are grumpy and judgmental about us not hanging out with then as much as we would have pre-kid, and make comments (totally serious) about how we should use Benadryl to put her to sleep (we're going through a tough sleep phase) or would never take their future children to a restaurant or on a plane until they are 5). They are especially judgy when she is cranky and demanding (ever met a 2 year old who isn't somewhat demanding?) but she's also been really sweet and fun a lot of the trip. Yes. She cries sometimes. But we aren't sharing a room or house and we've never let it get to the point where it ruins a meal (at least the few we've had together.) "Making an effort" in my original post refers to suggesting things that would accommodate both of our schedules/situations or simply giving a sympathetic look or trying to help out if we are having a tough time.

I get it from their perspective - just a new experience I was sharing and venting about since I haven't traveled with childless friends since DD came along. We did do a weeklong trip with friends with kids this year which was far less stressful. I just really think folks with kids are going to be naturally more in tune with the flow and flexibility you need when vacationing with a child. Don't think that should be too controversial.

We might be reading too much into it as well - we are both the type to bend over backwards to make sure everyone is comfortable and happy and just might feel awkward that we have to pay attention to something other than our friends during the trip.

Anonymous wrote:OP here - obviously should've been more specific. We actually haven't forced our friends to do anything. We have left restaurants by ourselves, done our own meals mostly, and handled naptime alone while everyone does their thing. It's really mostly just that the friends are grumpy and judgmental about us not hanging out with then as much as we would have pre-kid, and make comments (totally serious) about how we should use Benadryl to put her to sleep (we're going through a tough sleep phase) or would never take their future children to a restaurant or on a plane until they are 5). They are especially judgy when she is cranky and demanding (ever met a 2 year old who isn't somewhat demanding?) but she's also been really sweet and fun a lot of the trip. Yes. She cries sometimes. But we aren't sharing a room or house and we've never let it get to the point where it ruins a meal (at least the few we've had together.) "Making an effort" in my original post refers to suggesting things that would accommodate both of our schedules/situations or simply giving a sympathetic look or trying to help out if we are having a tough time.

I get it from their perspective - just a new experience I was sharing and venting about since I haven't traveled with childless friends since DD came along. We did do a weeklong trip with friends with kids this year which was far less stressful. I just really think folks with kids are going to be naturally more in tune with the flow and flexibility you need when vacationing with a child. Don't think that should be too controversial.

We might be reading too much into it as well - we are both the type to bend over backwards to make sure everyone is comfortable and happy and just might feel awkward that we have to pay attention to something other than our friends during the trip.

Anonymous wrote:I am a mom of two kids.

The truth is that people who do not have kids do not understand the 24/7 commitment and focus of being with children. Even if these people are very loving and enjoy kids, their interactions with children is for a very limited time. My grown up niece can take care of my kids for a couple of hours - taking them to the park or movies - but would be exhausted if she had to be there for them for 24 hours.

So, do not blame your friends. They are not at the life stage that you are at. It is not nice to vilify them if they found your child's needs exasperating, especially when they were on a vacation and had expectations of enjoying it and going with the flow.

OP, I blame you and not your friends. They have no idea what being a parent means, but you should have known better! Why would you include them in your vacation plans when you know that you will be responsible for your child and your pace will be different than yours?

Anonymous wrote:I guess I don't understand the exact problem. OP, what types of accommodations did you have to make for your daughter? I'm having a hard time figuring out how you couldn't make it work without troubling the rest of the group. You're all out and about, and it's nap time. If nobody is ready to go home, you take your daughter home to nap; they stay out. If they insist on eating at a fancy restaurant where you couldn't possibly bring your child, one of you stays home with the kid. And entertainment? What exactly are you talking about?

Maybe your friends were still judgy and resentful even though you were able to do all of the above. Or maybe you invited your friends on your trip to Disney World, where it should be expected that it's a kid-centered vacation (why would they agree to go?). I don't get it...could you elaborate on the problems you ran into?

Anonymous wrote:Funny....I know my husband and I were all judgmental with my sister's kids. We're eating crow now! Your friends will apologize/laugh at themselves in a couple of years. But sorry you're going through this - no fun.