Anonymous wrote:I would try to be above the median hhi in the neighborhood. I think it's hilarious people are giving op shit while on elsewhere on dcum are telling people to live within your means.

It is interesting, but not surprising. To all of the PPs who claim they truly don't notice anything about how their neighbors live and they never even give a second thought to how they measure up, I say bull. F'ing. Shit. Everyone -- EVERYONE -- takes notice of that stuff, and it's completely disingenuous to act like it doesn't matter if you have significantly less than everyone around you. (Which does not include people with an HHI of $350K -- even in Mclean.)

On the other hand, there's something about OP's post that is kind of...awkward and ridiculous. That's partially b/c asking about HHI is, as many PPs have pointed out, extremely simplistic and not a great indicator of lifestyle. But more than that, I think most people are able to make these type of assessments informally, privately, sometimes even sub-consciously, by simply observing and interacting with others in their area. OP's getting a lot of vitriol not because she broke the unwritten agreement that we don't talk about this kind of stuff--although she has--but because she clearly lacks the intuition/understanding to find the information she is looking for in more socially acceptable ways.

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Anonymous wrote:If you can afford to go SAH and still support your current lifestyle, how does it affect you one iota whether your neighbors are making 5x that amount? Explain it to me.

Because, your relative position to those you live near directly affects your happiness. Been studied a lot. We can all pretend it doesn't and that we are above that, but the science doesn't lie.

care to cite the "science"???

Just google. This is a well-studied area.

interesting because I could care less. we are doing fine on our income and could care less what our neighbors earn.

Ok. But the actual research in this area suggests otherwise. Maybe you are a statistical anomaly, but I doubt it. People just don't like to admit this about themselves. But relative income/wealth is more predictive of happiness in a pariticular situation than absolute income/wealth. It is just human nature.

And - it is "couldn't care less." HTH!

If this is true, couldn't you then move to Anacostia and be much happier than you are in McLean?

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Anonymous wrote:If you can afford to go SAH and still support your current lifestyle, how does it affect you one iota whether your neighbors are making 5x that amount? Explain it to me.

Because, your relative position to those you live near directly affects your happiness. Been studied a lot. We can all pretend it doesn't and that we are above that, but the science doesn't lie.

care to cite the "science"???

Just google. This is a well-studied area.

interesting because I could care less. we are doing fine on our income and could care less what our neighbors earn.

Ok. But the actual research in this area suggests otherwise. Maybe you are a statistical anomaly, but I doubt it. People just don't like to admit this about themselves. But relative income/wealth is more predictive of happiness in a pariticular situation than absolute income/wealth. It is just human nature.

And - it is "couldn't care less." HTH!

Wow I cant believe how awful so many of these responses are - skipped over a lot of them.

We live in McLean in a neighborhood near Churchill elementary that is a mix of old tear downs and new builds. I would have the same question as you OP if I were to stay home - I'd want to be somewhere in the middle of the ppl in my peer group/community. We make 350-450 combined and have two little ones. Our neighbors all have older children so we don't spend a lot of time with them and all have two working parents. I get the feeling that they all make in the range of what we make.

I think it's going to depend on how expensive your neighborhood is. Where ppl live in homes that are a million, I would guess their income is in the 300-450 range. If your neighborhood is nicer than that than I would think you're going to be in the lower end of incomes with an income of $350k.

Where do you live?

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Anonymous wrote:We are thinking about doing this when DH transitions into a new level of work.

What is the typical HHI for those that SAH in McLean?

We have 2 elementary kids in public and a new house and our current income is 350K.

Ours is $170-$210k, depending on the year. However, I on't think that helps you. It will depend on your house payments, car payments, personality, spending habits........

Sorry pp, you are too poor for OP to consider in her "analysis." Next....

Anonymous wrote:We are thinking about doing this when DH transitions into a new level of work.

What is the typical HHI for those that SAH in McLean?

We have 2 elementary kids in public and a new house and our current income is 350K.

Ours is $170-$210k, depending on the year. However, I on't think that helps you. It will depend on your house payments, car payments, personality, spending habits........

The issue with McLean and surrounding areas is there are some really, really high incomes. So even if you are near/above the median, some families really look extravagant. My kid was just telling me that little Axle in his class has this, that and the other, and goes here and here for vacation, and their parents give him $100 every week, or whatever. Its a constant barrage for the kids and for you. You seriously have to look past all that to live in this area and feel comfortable.

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you know, when families go skiing to colorado over winter break or belize/costa rica for spring break or send kids to europe for summer before college, or by the cars and jewelry and clothes and eating out in Gilberts all the time.

Outside looking in. My neighbors have no idea how much money we have. While they display the gaudiness of new money, I think they'd be shocked to know we paid off our home in 5 years.

HAHA you didn't earn your money. You're the real poser.

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you know, when families go skiing to colorado over winter break or belize/costa rica for spring break or send kids to europe for summer before college, or by the cars and jewelry and clothes and eating out in Gilberts all the time.

Outside looking in. My neighbors have no idea how much money we have. While they display the gaudiness of new money, I think they'd be shocked to know we paid off our home in 5 years.

Sounds terrible, living like that, yolo

living like what? how do you know how they were living while paying off their house?

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you know, when families go skiing to colorado over winter break or belize/costa rica for spring break or send kids to europe for summer before college, or by the cars and jewelry and clothes and eating out in Gilberts all the time.

Outside looking in. My neighbors have no idea how much money we have. While they display the gaudiness of new money, I think they'd be shocked to know we paid off our home in 5 years.

Sounds terrible, living like that, yolo

You want to live the same way as most of your neighbors. It's always easier to live higher than lower.

you know, when families go skiing to colorado over winter break or belize/costa rica for spring break or send kids to europe for summer before college, or by the cars and jewelry and clothes and eating out in Gilberts all the time.

Outside looking in. My neighbors have no idea how much money we have. While they display the gaudiness of new money, I think they'd be shocked to know we paid off our home in 5 years.

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Anonymous wrote:I would try to be above the median hhi in the neighborhood. I think it's hilarious people are giving op shit while on elsewhere on dcum are telling people to live within your means.

this doesn't make sense. yes live within your means. how does that contradict with not worrying about what your neighbors make?

It doesn't. OP is confusing financial planning with "keeping up with the Joneses."

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Anonymous wrote:We're on the McLean/Arlington line and I SAH. Income of $350K. We don't live in new build and there is absolutely NO family money. In fact, we have massive student loans. I suspect we have less disposable income than the folks we interact with the most. It's not really an issue for us, but if someone is really into "keeping up", it might be uncomfortable. There are no exotic vacations and no nanny. We have a regular cleaner and drive cars on the nicer end of mid-range. I'm not going to be a cliche and say I feel "poor", nor are we struggling, by any stretch. But in terms of keeping up? We don't -- whatever can be extrapolated from that. Maybe others are drowning in debt. Maybe there's family money. Maybe they're rolling in it. Maybe there was a massive lawsuit settlement. Maybe they hit the lottery. Maybe we manage our own money poorly. Maybe I'm totally full of shit.

I could have written exactly this post! It's all exactly true for me too. Our HHI is slightly higher but still under $400K. It's risen steadily in the past 5 years but our lifestyle has not changed. If I were inclined to care about keeping up with others, I would end up spending way too much and we would be in debt or not saving. So for someone like OP, staying home on $350K in this area is probably not the best idea. For a grownup with reasonable self-esteem and well-placed priorities, it should be fine.

THIS

Anonymous wrote:I would try to be above the median hhi in the neighborhood. I think it's hilarious people are giving op shit while on elsewhere on dcum are telling people to live within your means.

this doesn't make sense. yes live within your means. how does that contradict with not worrying about what your neighbors make?