Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:HHI $150k. We live in a townhouse in the suburbs, drive older cars, and do not feel the need to impress anyone with anything. We have one in private at $30,000/year and we're doing just fine. It's all a matter of priorities.

This is sad. You are going to die when your kid goes to college and is around other kids doing just as well and the parenrs are not living in a townhouse and driving older cars. Unless your children have learning disabilities or are genuiuses, you're sacrificing way too much. Your kid will probably end up talking to a therapist about it one day. My in-laws did something similar and now my husband realizes how foolish they were. His dad has had to work a few more years before retirement and for little to no benefit.

Not PP - but seriously you think my kid is going to end up in therapy because we live in a townhouse? Wow....

Not PP either, but both the thought that living in a townhouse is horrible and the fact that PP's husband is a mess because of it are both terrible. Says FAR MORE about the husband than anything...

I'm the PP and we live in a rowhouse! I only said that because it is clear the pp lives in a townhouse and drives old cars to send their kid to private school. My husband isn't a mess but more realizes his parents should have saved their money and sent him to public school. I simply wouldn't let my children 100 percent dictate how I live my life. When your kids grow up, they can spend all of their money on education if they wish.

PP. Too not to! Hard to type on my phone.

Anonymous wrote:Hey, I live in a townhouse and have zero desire to live in a SFH. In fact, some times I fantasize about downsizing to a condo... PP who thinks that the kid is going to need therapy because his parents lived modestly is very odd.

I think the couple is placing to much focus on their child and not enough on themselves and their own happiness. we are not talking about the kid NOT going to school. We are talking the kid going to public so his parents can live a life commiserate with their income. It is too much pressure on the kid.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:HHI $150k. We live in a townhouse in the suburbs, drive older cars, and do not feel the need to impress anyone with anything. We have one in private at $30,000/year and we're doing just fine. It's all a matter of priorities.

This is sad. You are going to die when your kid goes to college and is around other kids doing just as well and the parenrs are not living in a townhouse and driving older cars. Unless your children have learning disabilities or are genuiuses, you're sacrificing way too much. Your kid will probably end up talking to a therapist about it one day. My in-laws did something similar and now my husband realizes how foolish they were. His dad has had to work a few more years before retirement and for little to no benefit.

Not PP - but seriously you think my kid is going to end up in therapy because we live in a townhouse? Wow....

No. Because you're clearly sacrificing your life to send your kid to private school. Maybe your kid isn't even interested in higher education? It seems like a lot of pressure. I would feel awful if mynparents lived In a crappy home and drove all cars just for my schooling. My husband feels awful that his parents are still workig because they sent their kids to private school for no good reason.

It isn't very hard. We're in the same ballpark income wise on two salaries but we're in our late 40s and have only one child.

How much are you paying for child care? My DC is in high school now, but we paid $30k+ for our nanny so when DC started school, we actually saved money! Tuition has gone up since then and you've got 2 children. But, you're talking a difference of less than 10% of income after netting out the nanny.

Also, think about how much more you will earn over time. Just a 4% annual salary bump translates to $15k+ more in pay. In 5 years, you'll earn over $50k+ more annually. So if you have to do a little belt tightening, it won't be for long. The difference is going to Martha's Vineyard instead of Fiji next summer.

If you're big savers, good for you! If you're not burying it in the back yard, you should be earning some significant investment income. Our investment portfolio is only a little more than 2x salary, but that is providing an extra $150k+ this year.

Lots of people on this board think they have financial stress at your income level (and lots of people give them crap about it). Often, these are young professionals just starting their law or medical practice where school debt and the grind of starting out are hard. But once you make partner, the income jumps and if you've been frugal and saved a bit, the investment returns pile up. For those of us lucky to have stable career paths, things start to accelerate pretty quickly in your 40s. As long as you don't get divorced and double your living expenses, things work out pretty easily.

Hey, I live in a townhouse and have zero desire to live in a SFH. In fact, some times I fantasize about downsizing to a condo... PP who thinks that the kid is going to need therapy because his parents lived modestly is very odd.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:HHI $150k. We live in a townhouse in the suburbs, drive older cars, and do not feel the need to impress anyone with anything. We have one in private at $30,000/year and we're doing just fine. It's all a matter of priorities.

This is sad. You are going to die when your kid goes to college and is around other kids doing just as well and the parenrs are not living in a townhouse and driving older cars. Unless your children have learning disabilities or are genuiuses, you're sacrificing way too much. Your kid will probably end up talking to a therapist about it one day. My in-laws did something similar and now my husband realizes how foolish they were. His dad has had to work a few more years before retirement and for little to no benefit.

Not PP - but seriously you think my kid is going to end up in therapy because we live in a townhouse? Wow....

Not PP either, but both the thought that living in a townhouse is horrible and the fact that PP's husband is a mess because of it are both terrible. Says FAR MORE about the husband than anything...

We have invested in private schools for all of our children, and - with perhaps one exception - in our experience, have been very happy with the returns on our investments.

Anonymous wrote:
I'm with you. I went to a "good" public school, and it was nowhere near what my son is getting a private school. I was miserable, but my parents couldn't afford private school… All their money was tied up in the house. I deliberately chose the opposite for my family. It means a lot to me too have the power to move him to a different school if this one doesn't suit him, we're not trapped by our local public. Frankly, I think the 13 years of primary and secondary school are more important then the subsequent four years of college.

Everybody makes different choices… And, seemingly, everyone else takes other people's choices as a referendum on their own.

This. We could buy in a "good" public school district, but if one of us lost our jobs, we'd lose the house. I'd rather spend the premium on the private of our choice with the knowledge that we can pull the kids out and still have a place to live if the worst ever happens.

Anonymous wrote:We have a HHI of somewhere between $370-400 and 2 kids. We just don't think we'll be able to swing it.

Do you not save?
Do you have family money?
Do you have a tiny house?

These are totally serious questions - my hypothesis is that DH is too much of a saver and that we put too much money away for college/rainy day fun.

OP you can afford the $70,000 per year after tax dollars. However, keep in mind that amount continues to increase year over year, and you will notice it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, don't do it. Save so that your kids & grand kids can inherit something! It's really foolish to put your family in a precarious financial situation....what if one of you lost a job, got cancer, etc.

what are you talking about?! people around here truly think this HHI is normal....its not normal and OP has nothing- zero-zilch to worry about in retirement. and that is not what she was asking!

Um hello, they don't make enough to afford private AND save enough for a rainy day. It seems nutty to pay for private unless you are making 700k+

I tend to agree with you. We make about $500k HHI and am really struggling to justify $35k on one child for private. Yes, on paper it is easily paid for at this income. But what about the "what ifs of life?" Those are the things that keep me wondering.

Agree. We are at 320k and would never consider private. We would move before considering private. We would rather put that 35k in the market each year.

Why? So you can buy park place.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:HHI $150k. We live in a townhouse in the suburbs, drive older cars, and do not feel the need to impress anyone with anything. We have one in private at $30,000/year and we're doing just fine. It's all a matter of priorities.

This is sad. You are going to die when your kid goes to college and is around other kids doing just as well and the parenrs are not living in a townhouse and driving older cars. Unless your children have learning disabilities or are genuiuses, you're sacrificing way too much. Your kid will probably end up talking to a therapist about it one day. My in-laws did something similar and now my husband realizes how foolish they were. His dad has had to work a few more years before retirement and for little to no benefit.

Not PP - but seriously you think my kid is going to end up in therapy because we live in a townhouse? Wow....

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, don't do it. Save so that your kids & grand kids can inherit something! It's really foolish to put your family in a precarious financial situation....what if one of you lost a job, got cancer, etc.

what are you talking about?! people around here truly think this HHI is normal....its not normal and OP has nothing- zero-zilch to worry about in retirement. and that is not what she was asking!

Um hello, they don't make enough to afford private AND save enough for a rainy day. It seems nutty to pay for private unless you are making 700k+

oh my god you are insane.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: We have also struggled with the private school vs. more money for kids at inheritance and concluded that if you forego private school in favor of giving your kids a larger inheritance, we're really just skipping a generation---ie, by the time your kids get the inheritance, they will likely have figured out their own lives and so the inheritance will just go to the grandkids. or maybe actually your great grand kids' private school education if you live long enough (i.e. your grand kids would be having kids around when you die so they could plan on private).

Not necessarily. There are a lot of benefits to parental wealth beyond inheritance .... Security in the case of job loss, assistance with a large down payment, ability to withstand medical tragedy. It's bizarre that so many seemingly smart people don't save enough.

Or kids can make their own way like we did. Served us well enough to send our kids to private. My kids do not have any idea how much they will get when we pass - nor should they...unless I wanted to make them have a sense of entitlement and not feel the drive to make it alone. I figure it will be a nice surprise when they are grieving the loss of a parent who, yes, worked a few extra years to get them the education they need.

Our income varies. Sometimes it's where you guys are and sonetimes it's double or more. At any rate, we paid off our mortgage in a good bonus year a little while ago so we just cash flow tuition now.