If my DIL ever stopped me from going into her home to see my grandchild I would break the door down with an ax. And if my DIL had a problem with me breaking down her door I would turn the ax on her just to shut her up

Guessing there is a high probability that eventually psycho granny will get the boot. Why on earth these women think they have any rights to someone else's child is beyond me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she South Asian? Our nanny is & she believes honey will make a baby stong & healthy. It varies by culture. Just educate her as to what your doctor is telling you. Be nice, but informative & firm. It's not like she was intentionally trying to hurt your baby!!

I am Indian. DH and I are from different parts of India...and not once has anyone suggested that we give a baby honey for any reason.

NP here, but DH is Indian and my MIL, also, thought honey would be a good idea -- she thought it would help her cough (which, it probably would have, if it hadn't been dangerous for her at 5 months). So, yeah. India's a big place.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she South Asian? Our nanny is & she believes honey will make a baby stong & healthy. It varies by culture. Just educate her as to what your doctor is telling you. Be nice, but informative & firm. It's not like she was intentionally trying to hurt your baby!!

I am Indian. DH and I are from different parts of India...and not once has anyone suggested that we give a baby honey for any reason.

South Asia isn't just India. Our nanny is not indian.

I think you're overreacting - I am sure she quite honestly just doesn't know. That doesn't make it right for her to do and it shouldn't happen again but it's an honest mistake by someone who finished child rearing in another culture quite a while ago. Invite her into the modern conversation subtly. If you come at her like she's tried to kill the baby she is going to get defensive and your relationship will suffer long term and can get between you and DH.
Going into the relationship, you had to have realized that culture was going to be a hot topic at times and this is probably just the tip of many more things. Try to think of it from her point of view or what it would be like to be in her position in her home country - it's not easy and cultures have huge variations. Just recognizing that and coming at problems with that perspective really does help.

Allow MIL lots of time w child just not unsupervised.

Would she be open to attending a grandparents' class at the local hospital? Perhaps your son could suggest it as a mother & son activity. Tag on a baby massage class, and I can't imagine your MIL will say no to that!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How does she have access to the baby to give a pacifier? If my MIL behaved that way, she wouldn't get into my house. Long ago, I stopped facilitating my husband's relationship with his mother. It's up to him to call her and make plans to spend time together. He doesn't do that so we only see her when I make the plans. Thanksgiving, Christmas, and her birthday.

If my DIL ever stopped me from going into her home to see my grandchild I would break the door down with an ax. And if my DIL had a problem with me breaking down her door I would turn the ax on her just to shut her up

Sounds like the beginning of a great grandparent-grandchild relationship!

This thing with the ax is psychotic! lmao

Anonymous wrote:Is she South Asian? Our nanny is & she believes honey will make a baby stong & healthy. It varies by culture. Just educate her as to what your doctor is telling you. Be nice, but informative & firm. It's not like she was intentionally trying to hurt your baby!!

I am Indian. DH and I are from different parts of India...and not once has anyone suggested that we give a baby honey for any reason.

We lived in France when DS was 6months - 1yr. Can't tell you how many infant formulas and baby foods proudly announced honey (& chocolate!) as key ingredients. Different cultures are ok with different things. I'd love to see a compilation of all the no-no's worldwide. Bet it would be some list!

Is she South Asian? Our nanny is & she believes honey will make a baby stong & healthy. It varies by culture. Just educate her as to what your doctor is telling you. Be nice, but informative & firm. It's not like she was intentionally trying to hurt your baby!!

Have the Dr. write her a note.

Also, there is the potential for the honey to cause tooth decay when the infant starts getting teeth.

I googled honey pacifier and it seems to be pretty popular in Mexico. Anyway, it is a real pacifier w/ honey in the nipple part. There is film or something over the tip of the pacifier that must melt away as the baby sucks. The whole thing seems dangerous to me. Who knows what type of plastic/rubber they are using or the quality of the honey. I am a really laid back mom (I'm ok w/ BPA after reading the studies) but this goes too far.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How does she have access to the baby to give a pacifier? If my MIL behaved that way, she wouldn't get into my house. Long ago, I stopped facilitating my husband's relationship with his mother. It's up to him to call her and make plans to spend time together. He doesn't do that so we only see her when I make the plans. Thanksgiving, Christmas, and her birthday.

If my DIL ever stopped me from going into her home to see my grandchild I would break the door down with an ax. And if my DIL had a problem with me breaking down her door I would turn the ax on her just to shut her up

Sounds like the beginning of a great grandparent-grandchild relationship!