Anonymous
Post 12/24/2014 23:41     Subject: Re:MIL Gave Christmas Presents to Kids and DH, not Me
Anonymous wrote:Shit like this doesn't fly with me. Sorry, I am not diplomatic. I say what I think, always. And I deal with the consequences. I'd have a sit-down with MIL and DH. Leave the kids out of it, they can keep their grandma as long as the relationship there works out. But no way is this kind of behavior acceptable for Christmas (or Birthdays for that matter). Either she may not participate in Christmas gift giving, if she can't embrace the spirit and make it work. Or she gets her shit together and behaves like an adult.


All of this over a damn gift???? I could care less if my own mother got me a gift. Some of the responses really illustrate that there's probably a petty DIL for every shitty MIL out there. I feel sorry for the grandkids of the mom who insinuated that access to her kids is based on her personal relationship to her MIL.
Anonymous
Post 12/24/2014 22:38     Subject: MIL Gave Christmas Presents to Kids and DH, not Me
I'm sorry op. On the upside you don't have to figure out what to with the trash your mil gives you like I do n
Anonymous
Post 12/23/2014 23:04     Subject: MIL Gave Christmas Presents to Kids and DH, not Me
I never send cards, gifts or anything to DH's family. That's his job and he doesn't do it very well, but that's his choice.
I take care of my family, our kids and friends (when appropriate) - that's enough for me!
Anonymous
Post 12/23/2014 19:30     Subject: MIL Gave Christmas Presents to Kids and DH, not Me
Anonymous wrote:OP told her MIL that she doesn't "want or need
anything from her." MIL, after many years of trying to have a relationship with DIL, gave up and took her at her word.


No. This OP's husband. DW sent s letter to my mother, the contents of which I know not, beyond that mother says she was so deeply hurt and offended that she is giving up.
Anonymous
Post 12/23/2014 15:54     Subject: MIL Gave Christmas Presents to Kids and DH, not Me
Anonymous wrote:OP told her MIL that she doesn't "want or need
anything from her." MIL, after many years of trying to have a relationship with DIL, gave up and took her at her word.


That wasn't OP, that was a troll trying to stir up trouble.
Anonymous
Post 12/23/2014 15:33     Subject: MIL Gave Christmas Presents to Kids and DH, not Me
OP told her MIL that she doesn't "want or need
anything from her." MIL, after many years of trying to have a relationship with DIL, gave up and took her at her word.
Anonymous
Post 12/23/2014 15:32     Subject: MIL Gave Christmas Presents to Kids and DH, not Me
Here is the issue: OO told MIL in a temper tantum that "doesn't want or mp
Anonymous
Post 12/09/2014 14:48     Subject: Re:MIL Gave Christmas Presents to Kids and DH, not Me
Shit like this doesn't fly with me. Sorry, I am not diplomatic. I say what I think, always. And I deal with the consequences. I'd have a sit-down with MIL and DH. Leave the kids out of it, they can keep their grandma as long as the relationship there works out. But no way is this kind of behavior acceptable for Christmas (or Birthdays for that matter). Either she may not participate in Christmas gift giving, if she can't embrace the spirit and make it work. Or she gets her shit together and behaves like an adult.
Anonymous
Post 12/09/2014 11:49     Subject: MIL Gave Christmas Presents to Kids and DH, not Me
Is it possible she ordered something... Package or gift card that wasn't delivered? Last year someone ordered me a gift card for a local day spa and the email never came, not even in my spam folder. If the person hadn't asked if I received it I would never have known.
Anonymous
Post 12/09/2014 11:17     Subject: MIL Gave Christmas Presents to Kids and DH, not Me
In the same boat OP! I work hard to make them a few gifts from DD (18 months last Christmas) - took her to a pottery place to have her paint some mugs, added her hand prints, etc. Then got MIL 2 charms for her bracelet that she wears daily, and an iPod shuffle that FIL has been eyeing. DD got quite a few things, some clothing, half a dozen toys, DH got a large gift certificate to Jos A Bank, and I got nada. Same goes for birthdays.
Anonymous
Post 12/08/2014 09:55     Subject: Re:MIL Gave Christmas Presents to Kids and DH, not Me
Anonymous wrote:As a MIL, I too know about shitty DILs.


I'm curious about what you mean. Obviously there are as many nice MILs as there are nice DILs and mean MILs and mean DILs. Not everyone is perfect, but i have seen my friends bend over backwards for their MILs and get treated like crap in return. Not sure if its a function of their generation or what.
Anonymous
Post 12/07/2014 18:52     Subject: MIL Gave Christmas Presents to Kids and DH, not Me
I don't like how people use to occasion of Jesus's birth to be nasty or send a statement, or escalate an existing rocky relationship, as OP's MIL is doing. It's certainly anti-Christian behavior and the opposite of what the holiday is supposed to be about.

I agree with the "rise above" advice of PPs.

If you are to force your DH to deal with your MIL separately and as a PP said, then that IS exactly allowing "the bitch to divide (your) family."
Anonymous
Post 12/07/2014 16:58     Subject: MIL Gave Christmas Presents to Kids and DH, not Me
Anonymous wrote:My MIL has done this since we got married. Always a gift for DH and then the kids once we had them but we had to buy them on her behalf. Nothing for me. I don't care anymore but yes it used to hurt.


My MIL is super cheap and doesn't spend her money at all. I used to get stuff like a hairbrush or a random scarf for Christmas. Now that we have kids we told her to just focus on that!
My husband, of course, loves to try to impress her with lands end coats, occitane lotions, kindles, etc. He feels guilty about not living a thirty minute drive away from her any longer...
Anonymous
Post 12/07/2014 16:54     Subject: MIL Gave Christmas Presents to Kids and DH, not Me
Anonymous wrote:How would you react to this? My MIL told DH that she is giving presents to the kids and to him for Christmas but will give me nothing. I know we have had a rocky relationship, but I would prefer she send nothing to anyone in our family if she will be that way.


She pre-announces this? I hope your husband told her to grow up.
Anonymous
Post 12/06/2014 22:38     Subject: MIL Gave Christmas Presents to Kids and DH, not Me
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You give us no context at all. Do you buy your ILs xmas gifts? Are you otherwise on decent terms with your MIL? Did you recently offend her - if so, is she over reacting or did you actually do something offensive? If you're not a Christian, maybe she's waiting waiting until a holiday that's of real significance to you to give you something.

In my particular case, I would not mind at all. I think of getting a pile of gifts on Christmas morning as something for the kids, not the grown ups. I'm happy to get some socks from my parents and a date with my husband.


I told her that she needs to "share the wealth" her dead husband and mother gave her and that she should've raised a son To be a better husband and father. I did this in a moment of anger at my DH, who again did not do as I asked him. Now he oing to leave me, which will make his Mommy happy. She just cannot live without being an emotiOral vampire. I hate her.


There's no way this is actually OP.


Probably OP's DH.