Anonymous
Post 12/05/2014 14:07     Subject: Re:Punishment for sneaking a peak at gift?
good for you, OP for not reacting like your parents.

not really punishable; kind of expected every now and then.
Anonymous
Post 12/05/2014 12:41     Subject: Punishment for sneaking a peak at gift?
Anonymous wrote:I did this as a kid, several times. What made me stop was when my mom sat down with me and basically said "I know you looked through your gifts. I wish you didn't do it because your dad and I love to see your face when you open something you really wanted. It makes me sad that we won't get to experiment that excitement because you looked early". Worked like a charm.


Agree with this. I used to get up at 5am and open everything then go back to bed. We had to have a rule that you could only look through your stocking before 8am.
Anonymous
Post 12/05/2014 12:40     Subject: Re:Punishment for sneaking a peak at gift?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The only punishment he needs is not getting the surprise of not knowing what's in the package when he open's it on Christmas. And if that doesn't bother him, why shouldn't he peek? I love surprises, so I learned my lesson when I peeked once as a kid and then didn't get the surprise on Christmas morning, but if he's happy now, what's the harm.


Yes.... but he was told not to look.

Just say that you were disappointed/sad that he disregarded what you asked him and that he deprived you of the joy to see his face as he opened his present.
I would tell him what your parents did and how painful it was for you. You can tell him that this time he gets a pass BUT if he ever did it again you'll make him return his present.


NOOOOO

Your kids' Christmas presents AREN'T ABOUT YOU. You don't get to create a weird guilt trip if they don't do Christmas the exact way you envisioned. That is so messed up, your kids would end up being anxious and resentful. If you enjoy their surprise, it's your job to hide the presents better! That's all!
Anonymous
Post 12/05/2014 12:38     Subject: Punishment for sneaking a peak at gift?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My mom did this a couple of years ago with my 7 year old son. I don't even consider her particularly cruel or strict, but she had told him that if he looked at his gifts ahead of time, he wasn't getting them.

He looked. She found out. She looks at me like, "What do we do?" and I said, "You shouldn't have told him that he wasn't getting them. Now you have to follow through." She donated it to Toys 4 Tots.

It was heartbreaking.


WTF. She did not have to follow through. your mom made a mistake and you punish the kid for her mistake? Awful.

Yeah. I messed up. I thought it was important to follow through with discipline. I'm too tough on him.


NP here. No, you didn't mess up! Your mom messed up by making such a harsh ultimatum for such a small infraction! You have to have consequences that fit the "offense" (I personally don't think peaking warrants any consequence other than the natural one that it's no longer a surprise!).

It's absolutely appropriate to follow through with consequences, so your kids understand you won't back down. But the problem was the consequence here was unjustified. Still, once it's made it's hard to go back without your kids noticing you will back down. Tough situation! And one of the trickiest issues with parenting, I think. DH is still trying to get the hang of consequences that aren't too tough/too easy.
Anonymous
Post 12/05/2014 12:24     Subject: Punishment for sneaking a peak at gift?
I always knew where my mom kept our Hanukah gifts. I always peeked. It made me so happy to spend a few months knowing that Cabbage Patch sleeping bag was coming, or the series of books I wanted to read, or that cool art game, etc.

No need to punish.
Anonymous
Post 12/05/2014 12:08     Subject: Punishment for sneaking a peak at gift?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My mom did this a couple of years ago with my 7 year old son. I don't even consider her particularly cruel or strict, but she had told him that if he looked at his gifts ahead of time, he wasn't getting them.

He looked. She found out. She looks at me like, "What do we do?" and I said, "You shouldn't have told him that he wasn't getting them. Now you have to follow through." She donated it to Toys 4 Tots.

It was heartbreaking.


WTF. She did not have to follow through. your mom made a mistake and you punish the kid for her mistake? Awful.

Yeah. I messed up. I thought it was important to follow through with discipline. I'm too tough on him.
Anonymous
Post 12/05/2014 12:00     Subject: Punishment for sneaking a peak at gift?
Anonymous wrote:My mom did this a couple of years ago with my 7 year old son. I don't even consider her particularly cruel or strict, but she had told him that if he looked at his gifts ahead of time, he wasn't getting them.

He looked. She found out. She looks at me like, "What do we do?" and I said, "You shouldn't have told him that he wasn't getting them. Now you have to follow through." She donated it to Toys 4 Tots.

It was heartbreaking.


WTF. She did not have to follow through. your mom made a mistake and you punish the kid for her mistake? Awful.
Anonymous
Post 12/05/2014 11:59     Subject: Re:Punishment for sneaking a peak at gift?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The only punishment he needs is not getting the surprise of not knowing what's in the package when he open's it on Christmas. And if that doesn't bother him, why shouldn't he peek? I love surprises, so I learned my lesson when I peeked once as a kid and then didn't get the surprise on Christmas morning, but if he's happy now, what's the harm.


Yes.... but he was told not to look.

Just say that you were disappointed/sad that he disregarded what you asked him and that he deprived you of the joy to see his face as he opened his present.
I would tell him what your parents did and how painful it was for you. You can tell him that this time he gets a pass BUT if he ever did it again you'll make him return his present.


No, no, no! Definitely don't do this! This child is so sweet with his kisses and his skipping around the room after peeking--OP should definitely NOT load him down with all that guilt and her childhood baggage! Let it go, totally and completely, and smile at him if he brings it up, and be as excited for Christmas morning as he is!! I probably wouldn't even mess with him with the big box/small box thing. Just enjoy him racing over to this gift on Christmas morning as soon as he figures out which one it is.

From your post, I love your kid, OP, and you seem like a good mom. It's awesome when people recognized a messed up thing in their childhood and consciously figure out how not to repeat it.


AGree with this 100%.
Anonymous
Post 12/05/2014 11:08     Subject: Punishment for sneaking a peak at gift?
Op, I hope you are questioning about many things in your upbringing. Your parents sound like they had serious control and anger issues.
Anonymous
Post 12/05/2014 10:55     Subject: Punishment for sneaking a peak at gift?
My mom did this a couple of years ago with my 7 year old son. I don't even consider her particularly cruel or strict, but she had told him that if he looked at his gifts ahead of time, he wasn't getting them.

He looked. She found out. She looks at me like, "What do we do?" and I said, "You shouldn't have told him that he wasn't getting them. Now you have to follow through." She donated it to Toys 4 Tots.

It was heartbreaking.
Anonymous
Post 12/05/2014 10:18     Subject: Re:Punishment for sneaking a peak at gift?
Anonymous wrote:Your parents sound horrible.

No punishment. He's 9, for goodness sakes! All kids try to peak at presents. Most parents don't punish them for natural curiosity. I'm so sad your parents did.

You, however, are a good parent for questioning your instincts and getting a reality check.

Merry Christmas!


This. Wowzers. I am a little shocked that anyone would consider that a punishable offense.
Anonymous
Post 12/05/2014 09:46     Subject: Punishment for sneaking a peak at gift?
If my kid did this and I thought she'd do it again, I would absolutely put something in a gift bag that would be a terrible gift and let her peek again. So if she peeked, she'd think she was getting socks and underwear. Or a big Kumon book of math drills.

Then again, I'm kind of a jerk.

I'm shocked my kid hasn't gone looking for her gifts. They're not hidden very well. She already "knows" that "Santa" is getting her a plush Anna doll.
Anonymous
Post 12/05/2014 09:42     Subject: Re:Punishment for sneaking a peak at gift?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The only punishment he needs is not getting the surprise of not knowing what's in the package when he open's it on Christmas. And if that doesn't bother him, why shouldn't he peek? I love surprises, so I learned my lesson when I peeked once as a kid and then didn't get the surprise on Christmas morning, but if he's happy now, what's the harm.


Yes.... but he was told not to look.

Just say that you were disappointed/sad that he disregarded what you asked him and that he deprived you of the joy to see his face as he opened his present.
I would tell him what your parents did and how painful it was for you. You can tell him that this time he gets a pass BUT if he ever did it again you'll make him return his present.


No, no, no! Definitely don't do this! This child is so sweet with his kisses and his skipping around the room after peeking--OP should definitely NOT load him down with all that guilt and her childhood baggage! Let it go, totally and completely, and smile at him if he brings it up, and be as excited for Christmas morning as he is!! I probably wouldn't even mess with him with the big box/small box thing. Just enjoy him racing over to this gift on Christmas morning as soon as he figures out which one it is.

From your post, I love your kid, OP, and you seem like a good mom. It's awesome when people recognized a messed up thing in their childhood and consciously figure out how not to repeat it.
Anonymous
Post 12/05/2014 09:41     Subject: Punishment for sneaking a peak at gift?
It's an attractive nuisance!! Weren't we just told recently that brains don't fully develop proper decision-making ability til around 25? Not his fault
Anonymous
Post 12/05/2014 09:39     Subject: Punishment for sneaking a peak at gift?
Heh, my parents had to hide our presents at a neighbor's house to avoid this after a couple of years of us peaking.