Anonymous wrote:I think $2000 per year for a cleaning lady is really low. A SAHM does more than the cleaning lady does twice a month. Also, you would somehow have to put a value on the husband not having to do anything home/kid related. If the SAHM worked the husband would have to help with chores, food prep, bath, night wakings, staying home when kid is sick, dealing with transportation, etc.

I paid my cleaning lady $7,000 a year for twice a week cleaning for 3 hours each. So, based on that figure alone and the fact that I am like a personal chef + personal driver + tutor in all subjects - DH has to be an extremely rich man to afford the staff to replace me. Especially one who is as highly educated as me. Would you not rather have a very educated and invested person shape and mold the life of your child?

Thankfully, I have realized that I am surrounded with people in my life who are very appreciative of my contribution as a SAHM. They value that over anything or anybody else. This means that I can be grateful that I did something right and attracted the right people in my life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no monetary equivalent for raising your own children. The pay is not in dollars.

That's what I was thinking, however I probably would have said it in a less confrontation way. My DH and I were not willing to put our kids in daycare or leave them with a nanny for 9 hours a day. There is no amount of money that anyone could have paid me that would have changed that. Of course we saved money by not using child care and a housekeeper. But that's not where my value as a SAHM was. My value was in simply being fully present with my children when they were young. I could never put a price on that.

My value is being able to demonstrate to my children what a professional, educated working female looks like. To each their own, but drop the morale superiority.

My value is being able to demonstrate what true love and devotion is

I too am able to demonstrate true love and devotion to my children. And I have a job. Loving and being devoted to your children are not exclusive to SAHPs.

I left my profession as a geriatrician more than a decade ago to support a household in which my significant other/spouse had a career which demanded many hours, travel, and eventually moves.

Shortly after I left my full-time practice, my SO received a job offer within the company, but in Europe. My spouse hesitated because - though they wanted to pursue the opportunity and the promotion - she or he worried about uprooting the children, finding new schools, selling our house, coordinating the move. I said "don't worry, take the job", and took that on myself.

We have since lived in Europe, Asia, San Francisco, and now New York, and each time my significant other has moved on to bigger and better jobs, and is now a well compensated, very Sr. Person in his or her field. The children, my spouse, and I have lived a life full of adjustments and the rewards of different experiences. And I have been there to help every step of the way.

Every time a friend asks my SO, "how did you know which moves to make?", my spouse offers this, "I didn't know which moves would help my career, or even how they would pan out, but I always knew that I had a supportive partner and family willing to make that move, and take that chance and adventure with me."

In the end, I do not think that you can place a value on the contributions to our family.

I have known many families like the previous poster where the family moves often for the military, the foreign service, international work, or foreign business. In that case, one spouse almost has to give up working by default -- since it is so difficult to transfer jobs so often.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no monetary equivalent for raising your own children. The pay is not in dollars.

That's what I was thinking, however I probably would have said it in a less confrontation way. My DH and I were not willing to put our kids in daycare or leave them with a nanny for 9 hours a day. There is no amount of money that anyone could have paid me that would have changed that. Of course we saved money by not using child care and a housekeeper. But that's not where my value as a SAHM was. My value was in simply being fully present with my children when they were young. I could never put a price on that.

My value is being able to demonstrate to my children what a professional, educated working female looks like. To each their own, but drop the morale superiority.

My value is being able to demonstrate what true love and devotion is

Agree. What these haters don't seem to get is that a SAHM is a "professional, educated working female". They can't see past their insecurities and realize that while they cry that WE, those who cherish SAHM, are hating on them, that they are doing the same to us - in spades!

Sound like real tough educated professional women to me! LOL

Nobody here has said SAHMs do not add value to their family. What is sad that you are so defensive about it that you have to denigrate working moms in order to boost yourself up and reaffirm your decision to SAH.

Personally, I am a work from home mom. It works for my family. I have a flexible schedule and family to help with childcare when both DH and I are working. It's the best of both worlds for me because I get to spend time with my child (as do our nearby family members) and I do not have to give up my career. I see the value both in family and working.

Also, I find it very telling that you criticize women for working instead of SAH, but not men. Why should only women be expected to give up their professional ambition to have a family?

To top it off, I am happy with my work/life balance so I don't feel the need to write silly "LOL OMG haters gonna hate" type statements in an anonymous forum to justify my life choices. PP, you are seriously overcompensating and trying to make yourself feel better by dragging down other women, which is sad. I hope your children have been exposed to more views than just your close minded ideals.

Anonymous wrote:I think $2000 per year for a cleaning lady is really low. A SAHM does more than the cleaning lady does twice a month. Also, you would somehow have to put a value on the husband not having to do anything home/kid related. If the SAHM worked the husband would have to help with chores, food prep, bath, night wakings, staying home when kid is sick, dealing with transportation, etc.

I would subtract value if the father did nothing kid related. I would put that in the extremely sad and pathetic category.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no monetary equivalent for raising your own children. The pay is not in dollars.

Agree. The other posters have no idea how valuable it is. The highest calling and job a woman can have is wife and mother. Obviously many here dishonor that.

Poor Mother Teresa. Who knew her calling was so low.

So many bitter haters here. Sad. I feel sorry for you, truly!

You are just a little too impressed with your "highest calling" ... You realize so many actually have a calling that gives to OTHERS.

Anonymous wrote:I left my profession as a geriatrician more than a decade ago to support a household in which my significant other/spouse had a career which demanded many hours, travel, and eventually moves.

Shortly after I left my full-time practice, my SO received a job offer within the company, but in Europe. My spouse hesitated because - though they wanted to pursue the opportunity and the promotion - she or he worried about uprooting the children, finding new schools, selling our house, coordinating the move. I said "don't worry, take the job", and took that on myself.

We have since lived in Europe, Asia, San Francisco, and now New York, and each time my significant other has moved on to bigger and better jobs, and is now a well compensated, very Sr. Person in his or her field. The children, my spouse, and I have lived a life full of adjustments and the rewards of different experiences. And I have been there to help every step of the way.

Every time a friend asks my SO, "how did you know which moves to make?", my spouse offers this, "I didn't know which moves would help my career, or even how they would pan out, but I always knew that I had a supportive partner and family willing to make that move, and take that chance and adventure with me."

In the end, I do not think that you can place a value on the contributions to our family.

Love this post.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, the prices of nannies, housekeepers, chefs, tutors, but also the intangible value of a loving parent.

Bahahahahaha.

Some of the most miserable and abusive parents I've known have been SAHMs -- wayyyyy too involved, you know?

Whether someone is a loving parent has zero to do with whether or not they work outside the home. But you know that, don't you.

I left my profession as a geriatrician more than a decade ago to support a household in which my significant other/spouse had a career which demanded many hours, travel, and eventually moves.

Shortly after I left my full-time practice, my SO received a job offer within the company, but in Europe. My spouse hesitated because - though they wanted to pursue the opportunity and the promotion - she or he worried about uprooting the children, finding new schools, selling our house, coordinating the move. I said "don't worry, take the job", and took that on myself.

We have since lived in Europe, Asia, San Francisco, and now New York, and each time my significant other has moved on to bigger and better jobs, and is now a well compensated, very Sr. Person in his or her field. The children, my spouse, and I have lived a life full of adjustments and the rewards of different experiences. And I have been there to help every step of the way.

Every time a friend asks my SO, "how did you know which moves to make?", my spouse offers this, "I didn't know which moves would help my career, or even how they would pan out, but I always knew that I had a supportive partner and family willing to make that move, and take that chance and adventure with me."

In the end, I do not think that you can place a value on the contributions to our family.

Yes, the prices of nannies, housekeepers, chefs, tutors, but also the intangible value of a loving parent.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no monetary equivalent for raising your own children. The pay is not in dollars.

That's what I was thinking, however I probably would have said it in a less confrontation way. My DH and I were not willing to put our kids in daycare or leave them with a nanny for 9 hours a day. There is no amount of money that anyone could have paid me that would have changed that. Of course we saved money by not using child care and a housekeeper. But that's not where my value as a SAHM was. My value was in simply being fully present with my children when they were young. I could never put a price on that.

My value is being able to demonstrate to my children what a professional, educated working female looks like. To each their own, but drop the morale superiority.

My value is being able to demonstrate what true love and devotion is

Agree. What these haters don't seem to get is that a SAHM is a "professional, educated working female". They can't see past their insecurities and realize that while they cry that WE, those who cherish SAHM, are hating on them, that they are doing the same to us - in spades!

Sound like real tough educated professional women to me! LOL

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no monetary equivalent for raising your own children. The pay is not in dollars.

That's what I was thinking, however I probably would have said it in a less confrontation way. My DH and I were not willing to put our kids in daycare or leave them with a nanny for 9 hours a day. There is no amount of money that anyone could have paid me that would have changed that. Of course we saved money by not using child care and a housekeeper. But that's not where my value as a SAHM was. My value was in simply being fully present with my children when they were young. I could never put a price on that.

My value is being able to demonstrate to my children what a professional, educated working female looks like. To each their own, but drop the morale superiority.

My value is being able to demonstrate what true love and devotion is

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From an economic POV, you are worth the cost of daycare or nanny, plus the cost of a cleaning lady and perhaps the cost savings of not ordering in periodically, all of which should be trued up for taxes.

So say about $36,000 for the nanny, maybe $2,000 for the cleaning lady and $2,000 for the not eating out as often (since presumably as a SAHM you'd cook more frequently than if you worked). Call it $40,000 post tax or worth about $60,000 post tax.

That value goes down as the kids get older and can clean for themselves and don't require full time 50 hour a week childcare.

Economically speaking I'd say $60k for the first 7 years, $40k thereafter.

The SAHMs I know don't clean their own houses.

I clean my own house , but I do a bad job so to be fair I would cut the cleaning service in half due the half ass job
I do

I think $2000 per year for a cleaning lady is really low. A SAHM does more than the cleaning lady does twice a month. Also, you would somehow have to put a value on the husband not having to do anything home/kid related. If the SAHM worked the husband would have to help with chores, food prep, bath, night wakings, staying home when kid is sick, dealing with transportation, etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no monetary equivalent for raising your own children. The pay is not in dollars.

Agree. The other posters have no idea how valuable it is. The highest calling and job a woman can have is wife and mother. Obviously many here dishonor that.

Poor Mother Teresa. Who knew her calling was so low.

So many bitter haters here. Sad. I feel sorry for you, truly!