Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not be a little more flexible on special occasions? Can't you just put DS down at 2 after lunch at diner at 12? Who eats lunch at 11:30? I think you are being overly rigid OP. You know your DS will sleep well so why not let him participate for a while? Same with TGDinner. Your inlaws are responding to the inflexibility they are seeing in you and DH.

Finally - the voice of reason!

Yes, we have 3 yo twins who typically nap between 12:30-2:30. Since all of our family live far away (nearest are in Orlando), when we visit them or they visit us, we are lenient with the schedule. Barring meltdowns due to being tired, we keep them up for meals and events. So, they may end up sleeping 3:00-5:30 on a couple of days. And yes, changing the schedule is very disruptive on their sleep patterns and they sometimes have trouble adjusting, but we make allowances for relatives, especially grandparents who we want to foster good relationships with between our children and our parents. So, we deal with resetting the normal patterns when we come home. Oh well.

While I would ask if my family can adjust times, if they couldn't we'd adapt and cope as best we could. We've been doing that for the last two years with the twins and they have very fond memories of their relatives and talk about them all the time. I would hate it if my children missed out on holidays or events with relatives because we were inflexible. I realize that OP's family is close-by and they see the family frequently, but these are family holidays. I would probably make my compromise that I would keep my children up late on Thanksgiving and maybe one other special lunch and then bow out of the other events.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't listen to anyone. You are blessed with a child who is a sound sleeper. My DS is 4.5, still naps for 3+ hrs and I cannot tell you the amount of dirty looks and irritation poorly disguised as concern from other moms: "Oh, are you sure he's OK?" "Oh! What time does he go to bed at night??" Gives me very special pleasure to say, "well, by 9 pm, of course!"

I think there's something off about a person who cries "jealous!" at every little thing.

Anonymous wrote:Don't listen to anyone. You are blessed with a child who is a sound sleeper. My DS is 4.5, still naps for 3+ hrs and I cannot tell you the amount of dirty looks and irritation poorly disguised as concern from other moms: "Oh, are you sure he's OK?" "Oh! What time does he go to bed at night??" Gives me very special pleasure to say, "well, by 9 pm, of course!"

You know what that is? It's freaking jealousy. Parents LOVE a child who gives them a 3-hr break in the middle of the day. It's super convenient, you can get a lot done and take a very nice nap yourself. This is what I did today between 2 and 5.30 pm: took a 90-minute nap, cooked three major dishes and watched half a movie.

There is nothing wrong with your child. Inlaws have long forgotten what children's schedules are like. They are pissed their grandchild isn't available for whatever occasions, but they will get over it, and your child is not a circus monkey to entertain them when they feel like it. He won't nap like this forever. I would refuse to mess with his nap in any way other than perhaps shifting it by 30 mins or however long it takes before your child starts getting cranky. His need for sleep is more important than your inlaws' need for his company.

Anonymous wrote:To the poster with a 4.5 year old who takes 3 hour naps: when does he turn 5? A 3 hour nap may work in your life now but the first two months of kindergarten will be a living hell for your kid and for you. Dropping a 3-hour nap will be a huge lifestyle change. The only kid I know who left preschool as a napper had a terrible first semester in kindergarten- and so did his parents. If your child is starting kindergarten next year you need to begin letting go of that nap bit by bit and pushing bedtime up. By June he should not be napping.

Anonymous wrote:To the poster with a 4.5 year old who takes 3 hour naps: when does he turn 5? A 3 hour nap may work in your life now but the first two months of kindergarten will be a living hell for your kid and for you. Dropping a 3-hour nap will be a huge lifestyle change. The only kid I know who left preschool as a napper had a terrible first semester in kindergarten- and so did his parents. If your child is starting kindergarten next year you need to begin letting go of that nap bit by bit and pushing bedtime up. By June he should not be napping.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't listen to anyone. You are blessed with a child who is a sound sleeper. My DS is 4.5, still naps for 3+ hrs and I cannot tell you the amount of dirty looks and irritation poorly disguised as concern from other moms: "Oh, are you sure he's OK?" "Oh! What time does he go to bed at night??" Gives me very special pleasure to say, "well, by 9 pm, of course!"

You know what that is? It's freaking jealousy. Parents LOVE a child who gives them a 3-hr break in the middle of the day. It's super convenient, you can get a lot done and take a very nice nap yourself. This is what I did today between 2 and 5.30 pm: took a 90-minute nap, cooked three major dishes and watched half a movie.

There is nothing wrong with your child. Inlaws have long forgotten what children's schedules are like. They are pissed their grandchild isn't available for whatever occasions, but they will get over it, and your child is not a circus monkey to entertain them when they feel like it. He won't nap like this forever. I would refuse to mess with his nap in any way other than perhaps shifting it by 30 mins or however long it takes before your child starts getting cranky. His need for sleep is more important than your inlaws' need for his company.

This isn't necessarily jealousy. I would poke my eyes out if my 5 year old still took a 3 hour nap that tied us to the house. And 9 pm is a very late bedtime in my books and would make me feel like I had no down time in the evening..... A more normal bedtime is more like 7:30. There is half your nap. From 7:30 to 9 last night I fed my horses, put up a Christmas tree and read 40 pages of a novel. During the afternoon we have "quiet time" so I got stuff done then too. I am not a circus monkey here to entertain my child during every waking moment....now, it is great if you like your naps, keep them as long as you can! But not everyone wants what you've got.

Anonymous wrote:Don't listen to anyone. You are blessed with a child who is a sound sleeper. My DS is 4.5, still naps for 3+ hrs and I cannot tell you the amount of dirty looks and irritation poorly disguised as concern from other moms: "Oh, are you sure he's OK?" "Oh! What time does he go to bed at night??" Gives me very special pleasure to say, "well, by 9 pm, of course!"

You know what that is? It's freaking jealousy. Parents LOVE a child who gives them a 3-hr break in the middle of the day. It's super convenient, you can get a lot done and take a very nice nap yourself. This is what I did today between 2 and 5.30 pm: took a 90-minute nap, cooked three major dishes and watched half a movie.

There is nothing wrong with your child. Inlaws have long forgotten what children's schedules are like. They are pissed their grandchild isn't available for whatever occasions, but they will get over it, and your child is not a circus monkey to entertain them when they feel like it. He won't nap like this forever. I would refuse to mess with his nap in any way other than perhaps shifting it by 30 mins or however long it takes before your child starts getting cranky. His need for sleep is more important than your inlaws' need for his company.

Anonymous wrote:OP, my first child was a terrible sleeper, and I used to get annoyed when my sister or friends seemed like slaves to their children's nap schedule. My kid slept poorly whether in her bed or in the car, so it made little difference to me and we were often out and about with her in the afternoons. My second child, though, is a dream sleeper, and with her I came to understand that some kids actually sleep so well at home that to disrupt that totally throws them off and affects the whole family. So I can see where both you and your in-laws are coming from. That said, it doesn't sound like you were asking them to change their plans, especially if you were at their house and all the naps meant was that your DS was sleeping while others were talking or eating. It does sound like your DS sleeps more than most kids his age, so I would ask his ped about that.

My younger DD is 2.5 and sleeps about 12-13 hours a night--more when her sister is not there to wake her up--as well as napping about 2 hours each afternoon. When she's really tired, she will nap up to 3 hours. Most of her friends no longer nap, and some of their moms try to convince us to drop her nap so she can have play dates. I refuse to change her schedule because she sleeps so well at night and is a happy, energetic kid. She goes to preschool each morning and gets all worn out, then comes home for lunch and nap time before her big sister gets home from school. If you feel that your DS is getting time to interact with other kids, play, learn, and be with you, then maybe his schedule is fine. It does seem like quite a lot of sleep, though.

Anonymous wrote:
Taking your child to the doctor for lab tests is a good idea.

Reducing nap times so that your son can participate in family activities would be more considerate. Expecting your family members to schedule holiday activities around your son's sleep schedule does seem rather rigid.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not be a little more flexible on special occasions? Can't you just put DS down at 2 after lunch at diner at 12? Who eats lunch at 11:30? I think you are being overly rigid OP. You know your DS will sleep well so why not let him participate for a while? Same with TGDinner. Your inlaws are responding to the inflexibility they are seeing in you and DH.

Finally - the voice of reason!