Anonymous wrote:
It bothers you because she is better then you. She loves your children more then you do. You conplain about ridiculous things while she adores and spends quality time with your children. Love your children more then you hate her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP said ask myself why it bothers me. It bothers me because one day my son opens a reasonably sized toy from my mom and happily plays with it. The next day he opens humongous gifts from MIL replete with mini weapons I'm trying to limit. He forgets all about reasonably sized toy without weapons and now wants to be in the military when he grows up and builds toy guns that he gives his sister and they run around the house shooting me. And my mom is afraid to buy my kids anything because they've already have been given entire product lines by MIL. So, for example, if I wanted to raise a pacifistic son, now I've got one that loves weapons. If I wanted to raise intelligent kids that like the outdoors and real food, now I've got ones that sit around watching football or Disney movies and eating junk food, demanding the next latest and greatest toy that winds up in a landfill. I feel like I can't shape and mold my own kids because of other people trying to shape and mold them harder. Here's another weird thing, I didn't take my husband's last name. So, MIL one time was saying we're the ____ family, and then gave us dish towels with the first letter of their last name on it. Coincidence, or is she just scent marking again?

It bothers you because she is better then you. She loves your children more then you do. You conplain about ridiculous things while she adores and spends quality time with your children. Love your children more then you hate her.

Anonymous wrote:Oh fun. Now OP is pulling out all the stops and tropes to get folks on her side. "Toy guns!" " Monogrammed towels""junk food!" Oh the horrors. Good lord op. My parents and inaws do all these same things. Guess what? My kids learns from me

Wait. Am I being trolled? Your son will grow up and join the military because he played with army men with guns?


Damn. Then why am I not Jem?!

Anonymous wrote:So the MIL can never win? Either she is too miserly or she is too generous?

OP, you are a ridiculous, jealous and insecure person. That is all. And MIL seems to outclass you.

Anonymous wrote:PP said ask myself why it bothers me. It bothers me because one day my son opens a reasonably sized toy from my mom and happily plays with it. The next day he opens humongous gifts from MIL replete with mini weapons I'm trying to limit. He forgets all about reasonably sized toy without weapons and now wants to be in the military when he grows up and builds toy guns that he gives his sister and they run around the house shooting me. And my mom is afraid to buy my kids anything because they've already have been given entire product lines by MIL. So, for example, if I wanted to raise a pacifistic son, now I've got one that loves weapons. If I wanted to raise intelligent kids that like the outdoors and real food, now I've got ones that sit around watching football or Disney movies and eating junk food, demanding the next latest and greatest toy that winds up in a landfill. I feel like I can't shape and mold my own kids because of other people trying to shape and mold them harder. Here's another weird thing, I didn't take my husband's last name. So, MIL one time was saying we're the ____ family, and then gave us dish towels with the first letter of their last name on it. Coincidence, or is she just scent marking again?

Anonymous wrote:PP said ask myself why it bothers me. It bothers me because one day my son opens a reasonably sized toy from my mom and happily plays with it. The next day he opens humongous gifts from MIL replete with mini weapons I'm trying to limit. He forgets all about reasonably sized toy without weapons and now wants to be in the military when he grows up and builds toy guns that he gives his sister and they run around the house shooting me. And my mom is afraid to buy my kids anything because they've already have been given entire product lines by MIL. So, for example, if I wanted to raise a pacifistic son, now I've got one that loves weapons. If I wanted to raise intelligent kids that like the outdoors and real food, now I've got ones that sit around watching football or Disney movies and eating junk food, demanding the next latest and greatest toy that winds up in a landfill. I feel like I can't shape and mold my own kids because of other people trying to shape and mold them harder. Here's another weird thing, I didn't take my husband's last name. So, MIL one time was saying we're the ____ family, and then gave us dish towels with the first letter of their last name on it. Coincidence, or is she just scent marking again?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I get it. I honestly would draw a line about the presents simply because I don't want my kid to be an entitled jerk. I'd say, "MIL, your generosity is remarkable, and we appreciate how you go out of your way to buy lovely things. We have agreed to limit gift giving to birthday and Christmas, though. Would you please agree to refrain from gifts other than at those times?"

If she does not agree, the next time she does it, say, "Phyllis, we have told you that we cannot have gifts except at birthday and Christmas. We will not make a scene in front of the child to upset you both, but if you do this again we will not visit again/invite you again until you agree to follow our request."

As a stepmom, I do think it's really harsh and wrong that you classify Her differently because she is not biologically related. She is doing her best to love your child, even if it's not your style.

We've tried telling them to limit the gifts and they don't. I just feel like she is teaching the opposite of what I want to teach, and my kids are young and impressionable so they are getting spoiled. My daughter lately has been asking "who gave me this?" and usually the answer is MIL. She just is playing a starring role when I feel like she should be playing a smaller part in our holidays. She even is trying to claim the role of Santa.

And someone else commented about the candles. She couldn't find the candles, so I just said don't bother. It's not like I said take those candles off the cake.

Anonymous wrote:OP, I get it. I honestly would draw a line about the presents simply because I don't want my kid to be an entitled jerk. I'd say, "MIL, your generosity is remarkable, and we appreciate how you go out of your way to buy lovely things. We have agreed to limit gift giving to birthday and Christmas, though. Would you please agree to refrain from gifts other than at those times?"

If she does not agree, the next time she does it, say, "Phyllis, we have told you that we cannot have gifts except at birthday and Christmas. We will not make a scene in front of the child to upset you both, but if you do this again we will not visit again/invite you again until you agree to follow our request."

As a stepmom, I do think it's really harsh and wrong that you classify Her differently because she is not biologically related. She is doing her best to love your child, even if it's not your style.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I get why what's happening is annoying, but you also seem insecure about the fact that the stuff you get/give isn't as good as your MIL's. Like you feel bothered by the fact that she has spent more money than you have. If you feel good about what you're doing/giving, then you shouldn't feel so threatened by MIL's.

You're reading into it. It's not about the money. You can buy huge plastic stuff at Target for cheap. She doesn't give higher quality stuff or better stuff. It's more gimmicky and grabs attention or is the more commercialized stuff you'd see on ads on television, or stuff that doesn't let the kid use their imagination and they just sit there and the toy yammers at them.

So she is getting things that kids like? Or that she thinks kids like. Shame on her.

?? My eight year old would like a BB gun. Or a minibike. I would be pissed if my MIL bought either of these for him!!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I get why what's happening is annoying, but you also seem insecure about the fact that the stuff you get/give isn't as good as your MIL's. Like you feel bothered by the fact that she has spent more money than you have. If you feel good about what you're doing/giving, then you shouldn't feel so threatened by MIL's.

You're reading into it. It's not about the money. You can buy huge plastic stuff at Target for cheap. She doesn't give higher quality stuff or better stuff. It's more gimmicky and grabs attention or is the more commercialized stuff you'd see on ads on television, or stuff that doesn't let the kid use their imagination and they just sit there and the toy yammers at them.

So she is getting things that kids like? Or that she thinks kids like. Shame on her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I get why what's happening is annoying, but you also seem insecure about the fact that the stuff you get/give isn't as good as your MIL's. Like you feel bothered by the fact that she has spent more money than you have. If you feel good about what you're doing/giving, then you shouldn't feel so threatened by MIL's.

You're reading into it. It's not about the money. You can buy huge plastic stuff at Target for cheap. She doesn't give higher quality stuff or better stuff. It's more gimmicky and grabs attention or is the more commercialized stuff you'd see on ads on television, or stuff that doesn't let the kid use their imagination and they just sit there and the toy yammers at them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I get why what's happening is annoying, but you also seem insecure about the fact that the stuff you get/give isn't as good as your MIL's. Like you feel bothered by the fact that she has spent more money than you have. If you feel good about what you're doing/giving, then you shouldn't feel so threatened by MIL's.

You're reading into it. It's not about the money. You can buy huge plastic stuff at Target for cheap. She doesn't give higher quality stuff or better stuff. It's more gimmicky and grabs attention or is the more commercialized stuff you'd see on ads on television, or stuff that doesn't let the kid use their imagination and they just sit there and the toy yammers at them.