My parents and ILs have never remembered our anniversary. I just don’t expect recognition for this outside of DH. Marriage isn’t valued much in society.

MIL was openly urging DH to divorce me and ‘move back home’ around year 10-12 which is when she divorced his father.

She gave up at about 17 years.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it strange that anyone would expect or want others to celebrate their marriage. Anniversaries are between spouses. No one else cares.

+1 I’m not even certain I know my parent’s actual anniversary date and I’m 50. We did however host a party for their 50th anniversary a few years ago and are taking a trip to celebrate my in-law’s 50th this year.

+2. I'm 40 and I couldn't tell you my parent's anniversary. I think it was sometime in June? About 2 years before they had me? We're close too, but aren't huge on celebrating or gift-giving for adults. I know my father has done nice gifts for 20 and 30 years, but that's it and the other random years I don't recall parties or gifts. I similarly have never celebrated an anniversary and often have to calculate how many years we've been together...

Anonymous wrote:I find it strange that anyone would expect or want others to celebrate their marriage. Anniversaries are between spouses. No one else cares.

+1 I’m not even certain I know my parent’s actual anniversary date and I’m 50. We did however host a party for their 50th anniversary a few years ago and are taking a trip to celebrate my in-law’s 50th this year.

I don’t expect anyone but husband to remember/acknowledge our anniversary. HOWEVER, SIL was married 4 months after us (same year) and MIL always gifts her daughter & spouse a special trip on the big milestone ones. She also does that for her other son and his wife. She’ll tell me all about these trips she’s gifting them yet doesn’t even mention our anniversary. I don’t expect her to remember/acknowledge ours, but I definitely don’t want to hear about how much effort she puts into doing so for her other children.

I don't care, to me it's just for the couple. My mil is obsessed with her anniversary.

I play it by the person.

Just like birthdays, certain milestones matter more to some people than others. Personally, I’m not particularly attached to the fact that the Earth goes around the sun, which somehow makes it important to celebrate some days more than others. But, I have friends and family for whom this is really important, so I mark those days in my calendar and celebrate with them, by card/ call/party….

These are people that I love and are important to me, so I make an effort to remember that makes them happy. For some, it’s marking these dates. It takes little effort in this technological age to “remember” and acknowledge.