Of course we love the grandchildren more - they're part of our bloodline, part of me! Not married into it.

MIL has always been very nice to me, but also very... Cautious, I guess? I know she counseled DH to not marry me, but when he told her flat-out that he loved me and had every intention of marrying me, she really made an effort to welcome me to the family.

Her big issue was my lack of religion - she is devout Catholic, I've never gone to church. She clearly saw me destroying her vision that her son (who left the church years before I met him) would ever return to faith. She was also worried that I came from divorced parents and what that would mean for my approach to marriage.

So her heart was in a good place, but she definitely was not excited about me joining her family. Luckily we live several states away and can be perfectly pleasant when we see each other at holidays. She's even accepted that we didn't baptize the kids, although she's not happy about it.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I think (as I mentioned in my other thread) that the bottom line, with some MIL's (not all) who are "difficult to get along with" or "expect you to play by her rules only" or "MIL's way or the highway" types - however you wish to phrase it - those kind of MIL's are not very happy people. While they would love nothing more for their young DIL's to be as bitter as them, "ain't gonna happen". I mean, what is the point in life if one is going to be so miserable? A rhetorical question, of course.

Wow. Who's the bitter one here?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL prefers her daughter who is helpless. She loves being a martyr and swooping in to save the day. She really really resents that DH and I don't need her help with money, childcare, advice, etc. Of course her daughter isn't married, so I'm the only in-law and there's no one else to "steal" holidays away from her etc.

The kicker is that she is always dropping hints that she wants to help us, bc she loves saving the day, but when we ask for help (honestly, just to make her happy) she acts like we've tasked her to be our servant. So then we don't ask and she tells us we clearly don't want her around. It's a never ending cycle and is SO tiring.

OMG I could have written this myself. My MIL and SIL are so co-dependent that it is nothing less than obnoxious.

+10000
*vomit worthy*

Can I join your club?

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I think (as I mentioned in my other thread) that the bottom line, with some MIL's (not all) who are "difficult to get along with" or "expect you to play by her rules only" or "MIL's way or the highway" types - however you wish to phrase it - those kind of MIL's are not very happy people. While they would love nothing more for their young DIL's to be as bitter as them, "ain't gonna happen". I mean, what is the point in life if one is going to be so miserable? A rhetorical question, of course.

Why are you making this into such a bitter old MIL vs. young, perky DIL battle? "Ain't gonna happen." Wha? I'm not a MIL, I don't even like my MIL, but am starting to understand why YOURS is pulling back from you.

OP here. I think (as I mentioned in my other thread) that the bottom line, with some MIL's (not all) who are "difficult to get along with" or "expect you to play by her rules only" or "MIL's way or the highway" types - however you wish to phrase it - those kind of MIL's are not very happy people. While they would love nothing more for their young DIL's to be as bitter as them, "ain't gonna happen". I mean, what is the point in life if one is going to be so miserable? A rhetorical question, of course.

do there+ do think there

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, why do you keep asking them questions?

Maybe they are f*ing with you and giving you inaccurate information, because they know you will go into such a tailspin.

My SIL was like this, totally inappropriate, and we started giving her bad information because she was such an awful person and deserved to make an ass out of herself.

Which pp?

17:13 and 21:29 - PP sounds inappropriately nosy. If you weren't nosy, wouldn't you say something to get them to STOP talking about inappropriate information, rather than telling PP more?

PP is more out of line than the over sharer!

You don't get it. These people are sharing their information. They are either bragging or complaining. No one is asking them questions. For some reason, this has struck a nerve with you. Perhaps you see yourself in this woman?

No. But I do there are adult bullies who look for fault where there is none. Consequently, any opportunity to mock someone is fine with them. Fodder for gossip would be even better, in their book. Let it go, instead of ganging up on someone. Grow up.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, why do you keep asking them questions?

Maybe they are f*ing with you and giving you inaccurate information, because they know you will go into such a tailspin.

My SIL was like this, totally inappropriate, and we started giving her bad information because she was such an awful person and deserved to make an ass out of herself.

Which pp?

17:13 and 21:29 - PP sounds inappropriately nosy. If you weren't nosy, wouldn't you say something to get them to STOP talking about inappropriate information, rather than telling PP more?

PP is more out of line than the over sharer!

You don't get it. These people are sharing their information. They are either bragging or complaining. No one is asking them questions. For some reason, this has struck a nerve with you. Perhaps you see yourself in this woman?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, why do you keep asking them questions?

Maybe they are f*ing with you and giving you inaccurate information, because they know you will go into such a tailspin.

My SIL was like this, totally inappropriate, and we started giving her bad information because she was such an awful person and deserved to make an ass out of herself.

Which pp?

17:13 and 21:29 - PP sounds inappropriately nosy. If you weren't nosy, wouldn't you say something to get them to STOP talking about inappropriate information, rather than telling PP more?

PP is more out of line than the over sharer!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm having trouble getting over the fact that stbdil turned DS into a cat owner. Oh, the horror. And she had a boob job at age 18. Just not what I envisioned. Those reservations aside, I see she makes DS very happy. For that, I'm thankful.

Brace yourself Lady: she'll need another boob job. Implants need to be refreshed on the regular.

I'm more troubled by the cat.

Haha. I like you.

Anonymous wrote:PP, why do you keep asking them questions?

Maybe they are f*ing with you and giving you inaccurate information, because they know you will go into such a tailspin.

My SIL was like this, totally inappropriate, and we started giving her bad information because she was such an awful person and deserved to make an ass out of herself.

Which pp?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL prefers her daughter who is helpless. She loves being a martyr and swooping in to save the day. She really really resents that DH and I don't need her help with money, childcare, advice, etc. Of course her daughter isn't married, so I'm the only in-law and there's no one else to "steal" holidays away from her etc.

The kicker is that she is always dropping hints that she wants to help us, bc she loves saving the day, but when we ask for help (honestly, just to make her happy) she acts like we've tasked her to be our servant. So then we don't ask and she tells us we clearly don't want her around. It's a never ending cycle and is SO tiring.

OMG I could have written this myself. My MIL and SIL are so co-dependent that it is nothing less than obnoxious.

+10000
*vomit worthy*

PP, why do you keep asking them questions?

Maybe they are f*ing with you and giving you inaccurate information, because they know you will go into such a tailspin.

My SIL was like this, totally inappropriate, and we started giving her bad information because she was such an awful person and deserved to make an ass out of herself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm having trouble getting over the fact that stbdil turned DS into a cat owner. Oh, the horror. And she had a boob job at age 18. Just not what I envisioned. Those reservations aside, I see she makes DS very happy. For that, I'm thankful.

Brace yourself Lady: she'll need another boob job. Implants need to be refreshed on the regular.

I'm more troubled by the cat.