Wait, I think your reply depends on the actual names. If your kids names actually are just "out of the family" but not "trendy" types, then you need to call him on the "You made up the name" thing. No FIL, I did not make up the name "Alice". If your kid's name is something like "Blue Ivy", then maybe he has a point.

Either way he needs to stop bringing it up.

If it was my father, my problem. If it's DH's father, he needs to deal with this (and by deal with it I don't mean shrug it off or give it a weak laugh).

If the FIL weren't doing this in front of the kids, I'd agree. But, he's doing it in front of the kids and it's damaging. He needs to be called on his behavior when it happens by whoever witnesses it.

Anonymous wrote:He sounds like a snob who considers family names a sign of status, and so he's trying to tell you (and tell you and tell you) that you made yourself lesser in his eyes because you broke with his preferred tradition.

How about: "You've mentioned this x number of times, at each family gathering for the last y years, and I think you've made your point, Bob. You disapprove of our choice to give our children the names of our choice, rather than naming them after you and your side of the family. So noted. But it's not polite to us or our children to keep harping on this and dividing your children this way. I trust you won't bring this up again in front of them or me. Your side of the family is not the only side of the family, so let's move on."

^^your GRANDchildren

He sounds like a snob who considers family names a sign of status, and so he's trying to tell you (and tell you and tell you) that you made yourself lesser in his eyes because you broke with his preferred tradition.

How about: "You've mentioned this x number of times, at each family gathering for the last y years, and I think you've made your point, Bob. You disapprove of our choice to give our children the names of our choice, rather than naming them after you and your side of the family. So noted. But it's not polite to us or our children to keep harping on this and dividing your children this way. I trust you won't bring this up again in front of them or me. Your side of the family is not the only side of the family, so let's move on."

DS's name isn't overly common and there's a girl's name that starts with the same four letters. Guess which one MIL uses? Then she yells at us for giving him a girl's name when we try and correct her. DS is 10!

Along the same lines my sister gave her son a name that my dad couldn't pronounce correctly because of a speech impediment and it sounded like my dad was calling my nephew by a girl's name. My sister and her family moved near my parents and they all started to spend lots of time together and as my nephew got older the mispronunciation of his name became an issue for him. He said something to my mom who mentioned it to my dad and my dad spent at least an hour a day, every day, for months trying to get it down.

Anonymous wrote:We were going to name them after you, dear FIL, but couldn't decide which would be "ass" and which would be "hole".

Stellar! I'd totally use that, and I'm not being sarcastic.

OP: What about your husband and siblings names? Are they named after dead relatives too? As for your reaction, I would not have a snarky retort in front of other people. Do not come down to his level. Take him into the kitchen, tell him how his words are mean spirited and make him aware that you chose a private conversation because, as your DH's father, he deserves (?) a little respect. Embarrassing him could backfire.

MIL rubs in the fact that a cousin used our last name (only male grandchildren) for a first name. As if it matters?? Who the hell cares??

Anyway, your thread reminded me of MIL, OP. Ignore, ignore, ignore.

Find some less than savory relatives to pick on.
"We were thinking of using Paul after your uncle but that little stint of his in prison soured it. Oh and then we thought Alice was nice for Great Aunt Alice but she was so cranky all the time that we didn't want any baby saddled with that namesake . . ."