I was 46 when I had my now 3-yo twins. They are the joy of my life and my families's lives. Yes, the grandparents are in their 80's (we're both the youngest sibling) and their cousins are 18-21 years older than them. Our parents think of it like having great grandchildren because they had one round of grandchildren 20 years ago and now have a second round which absolutely delights them. Yes, I may never see my grandchildren, but then some parents never have grandchildren and still manage to be happy they were parents. I will still have the joy of my children. Hopefully we'll both both be as long-lived as our parents, but if not, we'll cherish what years we have with them.

To the 41yo, it took us 4 years, and two batches of embryos to have our children, but it was very much worth it.

PP continued...and I mean it sucked more for him than for anybody else, because he loved kids and so, so wanted to play with his grandchild. *sigh*

Anonymous wrote:I'm 52. I was 40 when my oldest child was born and 46 when my youngest (of three) was born. In the beginning I was self-conscious about it but now, hey, it is what it is.

My dad was 40 when I was born. He died just shy of meeting his only grandchild. All my friends still have their parents. It really sucked. That said, I'm glad he had me late, rather than not at all. It is what it is.

Why not adopt a child who really needs a family (to the 41-year old)

Anonymous wrote:I'm 41, and I'd give anything to be a dad. We met too late it seems, and medicine wasn't able to help (tried for 4+ years).

Don't listen to the naysayers. Congratulations.

41 is not too old to become a father and hopefully you and your DW will consider adoption. There a lots of kids out there who would do anything for a father, regardless of his age.

My dad was 92 when I was born. Didn't really get to know him.

Anonymous wrote:I'm 41, and I'd give anything to be a dad. We met too late it seems, and medicine wasn't able to help (tried for 4+ years).

Don't listen to the naysayers. Congratulations.

You can try IVF.

Anonymous wrote:I'm 41, and I'd give anything to be a dad. We met too late it seems, and medicine wasn't able to help (tried for 4+ years).

Don't listen to the naysayers. Congratulations.

My husband was 42 when we had our first and 46 with our second. I was 38 and 42. Why not consider adoption? or a surrogate?

I'm 41, and I'd give anything to be a dad. We met too late it seems, and medicine wasn't able to help (tried for 4+ years).

Don't listen to the naysayers. Congratulations.

It's just gross. And, it's selfish and it greatly increases the odds of having an autistic or down syndrome child.

Anonymous wrote:My husband is 52. I want to have another child, but he doesn't.

And neither would I at 52!!! Holy sh*t. He'd be 70 at HS graduation. 57-58 when the kid is in Kindergarten . Get a pet instead.

My husband is 52. I want to have another child, but he doesn't.

Anonymous wrote:50 is old for a dude to be having a baby. Being well-past retirement and earning social security benefits while your child is in HS is bizarre.

This. Some of these dads I know will be 71 like my own dad when the kid is just finishing HS. I am 44 and my dad comes to all my kids sports' events but when I think of him as their dad in context to my 43-year old husband it's really weird. My husband and I run races and have competitive soccer games with our boys. My dad is in shape for his age--but he's 71.

You just never know. My dad was 47 when I was born, he died at age 92. He never saw the kid I adopted. But his father died at age 65 when my dad was 27, so never saw his grand kids either.

I have a friend whose father died when he was in his early 60's and never saw his grand kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having children past the age of 45 is pretty selfish, IMO.

Stop fooling yourself that you are any better. Having children at any age including in you 20's and 30's is pretty selfish. Having children over 45 is no more selfish than having children when younger.

This country is full of children born to couples way younger than 45 that live pretty miserable lives. Every single person I know, including DH, that was born to older parents - either accident or on purpose - had an amazing upbringing with loving, stable parents. Probably because their relationship had already withheld the test of time so they were able to offer emotional security as well as financial - even if money wasn't overflowing, their parents had the maturity and resources to make it work.