Anonymous
Post 10/12/2014 12:27     Subject: Son is Throwing a Ft Because we Won't pay for his College Education
Anonymous wrote:OP,

I'm curious: If you can afford to pay for college, some or all, why would you not? Like others, I don't understand why there isn't, if the funds are there, a middle ground. I made so many financial and career sacrifices for my child, who is now in college. That's my approach. Good luck with yours.


+1. OP, it's been said: You sound like a HORRIBLE parent.

Not only did my DS graduate with a little (VERY little) over a 3.0, he was offered tons of scholarship money from the various schools that accepted him. Many granting automatic $ to accepted students with 3.0 or higher.

Many parents pray to have sons interested in college. Yours is begging for visits. Shame on you for being THE obstacle to your child's success.
Anonymous
Post 10/12/2014 12:26     Subject: Son is Throwing a Ft Because we Won't pay for his College Education
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What country do you live in that you think an 18 year old, who can never make much more than minimum wage, will be ready to live on his own with only a couple of years of part-time work under his belt? AND afford college, which is tens of thousands a year? You sound so wedded to tough, no-support parenting that you are willfully blind to the realities of American living and education.


+1
+2

+3
+4
Anonymous
Post 10/12/2014 12:10     Subject: Son is Throwing a Ft Because we Won't pay for his College Education
FFS go away troll!
Anonymous
Post 10/12/2014 11:52     Subject: Son is Throwing a Ft Because we Won't pay for his College Education
Anonymous wrote:We have three kids, in which my 17 YO DS is the youngest. We have always been clear: we don't pay for college, they do. His older sister paid her own way through college, and the middle son decided not to go to college and currently works as a manager at a fast food joint.

We expect all of our kids to get a weekend/summer jobs as soon as they can. Both the older ones did (DD used it to cover what scholarships didn't and DS used it to rent an apartment). We made it clear that we would not be paying for their schooling, and they were expected to be self sufficient after turning 18 (with some possible budging if we thought it was worth it).

DS refused to get a job and even when he sends in applications, he does not follow up. We feel like we have given him every chance to do so.

He is now a junior in high school, and has been pushing us to take him on college visits. We have told him, in no uncertain terms, that we do not believe he has the ability to afford schooling even if he suddenly got a job and saved all his money. Since we had this discussion, he has been freaking out and acting up all the time. Picking fights, refusing to see why we won't spend hundreds of dollars on college visits to schools he will never even apply to.

I'm just sick and tired of all of this. We gave him every opportunity to get the money to pay for college, and he has ignored every attempt. He goes to a good school, but only gets ok grades, from age 13 we have pushed him to get a job, yet he never even seems to try. And now he seems to think he is entitled to a college education.

Is there any way to prove to him he is not prepared to go to college?


Anonymous
Post 10/12/2014 11:46     Subject: Son is Throwing a Ft Because we Won't pay for his College Education
Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately for OP's son, financial aid is for people in need, not people who have asshats for parents. The son will need to cut all ties from fis parents to get qualified for aid.



We don't know if OP has any money or not.
Anonymous
Post 10/12/2014 11:41     Subject: Son is Throwing a Ft Because we Won't pay for his College Education
OP - why are you so punitive, and why do you have so much contempt for your child? Were you raised this way? Did you go to college? If so, did you put yourself through and fail notice the astronomical difference in price between now and then, accounting for inflation?
Anonymous
Post 10/12/2014 11:33     Subject: Son is Throwing a Ft Because we Won't pay for his College Education
Unfortunately for OP's son, financial aid is for people in need, not people who have asshats for parents. The son will need to cut all ties from fis parents to get qualified for aid.

Anonymous
Post 10/12/2014 11:29     Subject: Re:Son is Throwing a Ft Because we Won't pay for his College Education
Way to give up on your kid, OP. Plenty of kids with 3.0 gpa's go to college and do well.

I pity your children, because of your attitude. Kids need guidance and encouragement.

Anonymous
Post 10/12/2014 11:26     Subject: Son is Throwing a Ft Because we Won't pay for his College Education
OP,

I'm curious: If you can afford to pay for college, some or all, why would you not? Like others, I don't understand why there isn't, if the funds are there, a middle ground. I made so many financial and career sacrifices for my child, who is now in college. That's my approach. Good luck with yours.
Anonymous
Post 10/12/2014 11:18     Subject: Son is Throwing a Ft Because we Won't pay for his College Education
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What country do you live in that you think an 18 year old, who can never make much more than minimum wage, will be ready to live on his own with only a couple of years of part-time work under his belt? AND afford college, which is tens of thousands a year? You sound so wedded to tough, no-support parenting that you are willfully blind to the realities of American living and education.


+1
+2

+3
Anonymous
Post 10/12/2014 08:49     Subject: Son is Throwing a Ft Because we Won't pay for his College Education
Anonymous wrote:Seems like a good candidate for the military


This is actually really good advice. The GI benefits for college would really help him.

Bonus: It gets him away from his overly-critical, not supportive, judgmental parents.
Anonymous
Post 10/12/2014 08:41     Subject: Son is Throwing a Ft Because we Won't pay for his College Education
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What country do you live in that you think an 18 year old, who can never make much more than minimum wage, will be ready to live on his own with only a couple of years of part-time work under his belt? AND afford college, which is tens of thousands a year? You sound so wedded to tough, no-support parenting that you are willfully blind to the realities of American living and education.


+1
+2
Anonymous
Post 10/12/2014 08:19     Subject: Son is Throwing a Ft Because we Won't pay for his College Education
Anonymous wrote:What country do you live in that you think an 18 year old, who can never make much more than minimum wage, will be ready to live on his own with only a couple of years of part-time work under his belt? AND afford college, which is tens of thousands a year? You sound so wedded to tough, no-support parenting that you are willfully blind to the realities of American living and education.


+1
Anonymous
Post 10/12/2014 07:21     Subject: Son is Throwing a Ft Because we Won't pay for his College Education
Seems like a good candidate for the military
Anonymous
Post 10/12/2014 06:46     Subject: Son is Throwing a Ft Because we Won't pay for his College Education
Anonymous wrote:Nobody says that you have to pay for your children's college but you sound like you could not care less whether they go or not. There are so many options besides the expensive private universities such as community college, state university, or even a trade school.

Your son has no idea what it takes to get into college because nobody has even let him know what he needs to do. He is lost. He's asking to visit universities because he has no other way of telling you that he wants to go but needs help. You hinder his way by telling him that he needs cash and better grades and since he didn't get a job when he was 13, he has blown his chance. You have written off his future and he's only in the 11th grade.

This is not about money but your son doesn't know that. Perhaps he should talk to a guidance counselor about his post graduation options and what he can do during the next two school years to get to where he wants to go. I really don't think you understand how important this is.


+1