Anonymous wrote:It's not something we say in polite conversation, but my DH is 100% NOT okay with women not working. He doesn't respect them. He has said numerous times that he wouldn't have married someone who didn't want to work.

Which is all well and fine because we both work and contribute and feel equal in our relationship, but this is why we don't have kids yet. I don't want to feel lesser because I'd have to take 12 weeks unpaid leave for a baby and he doesn't have to. It seems unfair, like I'm valued less

He sounds horrible if he think less of you because you take a few weeks off after carrying a child and giving birth! What happens if he gets sick. He sounds horrible.

Anonymous wrote:It's not something we say in polite conversation, but my DH is 100% NOT okay with women not working. He doesn't respect them. He has said numerous times that he wouldn't have married someone who didn't want to work.

Which is all well and fine because we both work and contribute and feel equal in our relationship, but this is why we don't have kids yet. I don't want to feel lesser because I'd have to take 12 weeks unpaid leave for a baby and he doesn't have to. It seems unfair, like I'm valued less

Please think long and hard about having children with this man. Not because anyone should or shouldn't work, but because reality of life is that it throws you curve balls, and the reality of married life is that you have be able to adapt to those curve balls. It's great to say in theory that you're 100% no okay with women not working, but then what happens if you end up with a child with significant special needs, who is in therapies every day, would need a specialized (e.g. expensive) caregiver if you worked, and generally would benefit substantially from having a parent home? Is he going to tell your kid, "Sucks to be you, mama better get to work or I'm dumping her ass?" Granted, this is not a particularly common scenario, but if you're with someone so rigid that he can't see any scenario where having a parent at home would be beneficial, he's not cut out to be a parent.

Anonymous wrote:Since a man cannot bear children his main purpose is to provide for his offspring. It's all about the propagation of the species.

No, no. I hear over and over again on DCUM about how women aren't after men to take their resources - as they pursue men with resources.

Since a man cannot bear children his main purpose is to provide for his offspring. It's all about the propagation of the species.

The gender differences are real. It's well and good to say that having a job is really just an indicator of other good qualities -- e.g. work ethic -- but that doesn't explain the huge gap between men and women on the importance of your spouse having a job.

I would take unemployed w a trust fund!!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not something we say in polite conversation, but my DH is 100% NOT okay with women not working. He doesn't respect them. He has said numerous times that he wouldn't have married someone who didn't want to work.

Which is all well and fine because we both work and contribute and feel equal in our relationship, but this is why we don't have kids yet. I don't want to feel lesser because I'd have to take 12 weeks unpaid leave for a baby and he doesn't have to. It seems unfair, like I'm valued less

Your poor (future) child.

+1

I would never marry a man that had his type of attitude.

Total double standard. How would you respond if your husband wanted to be a SAHD? You'd think he was a loser, wouldn't you?

Feminism isn't about women being better than men. It's about parity for the genders.

Um, the original pp wasn't talking about being a sahm but that her husband would bitch about taking MATERNITY LEAVE....that is fucked up.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not something we say in polite conversation, but my DH is 100% NOT okay with women not working. He doesn't respect them. He has said numerous times that he wouldn't have married someone who didn't want to work.

Which is all well and fine because we both work and contribute and feel equal in our relationship, but this is why we don't have kids yet. I don't want to feel lesser because I'd have to take 12 weeks unpaid leave for a baby and he doesn't have to. It seems unfair, like I'm valued less

I don't either. Unfortunately you broads take advantage of that 99% of the time simply as a reason to not work. Until you prove otherwise, you are untrustworthy.

I once had a secretary who would tell stories about waiting tables while she was pregnant. She worked a shift the day she gave birth. She was back at work within 72 hours. Great worker. Eventually she got snapped up by another company that paid way more than I could offer.

Anonymous wrote:P.S.

And oh yeah, they also have been huge dreamers.

Bragging about how special they are and how one day in the future they are going to basically own the world w/all their riches.

Either when they sue some huge company or when they hit it rich w/their supposed talent.

Uh...ok.

Oh, man. I know this type. All of the jobs that are actually within their capabilities are "beneath" them. So they nurse delusions of grandeur and grudges. Pissed at the world that just won't recognize their innate greatness.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not something we say in polite conversation, but my DH is 100% NOT okay with women not working. He doesn't respect them. He has said numerous times that he wouldn't have married someone who didn't want to work.

Which is all well and fine because we both work and contribute and feel equal in our relationship, but this is why we don't have kids yet. I don't want to feel lesser because I'd have to take 12 weeks unpaid leave for a baby and he doesn't have to. It seems unfair, like I'm valued less

You both may want to hold off on having children. There are way too many red flags with your husband.

Really after the youngest is in K .. If your H says he fully supports you not having a job all day long and you believe it... you are living a lie.

When you're born into wealth you don't have to worry about that.

Not real wealth. They expect you to work on the board or volunteer. They expect you to get your ass out of bed every morning and contribute to society ... else you become a burden. Many become burdens of course rehabs are full of wealthy people.

P.S.

And oh yeah, they also have been huge dreamers.

Bragging about how special they are and how one day in the future they are going to basically own the world w/all their riches.

Either when they sue some huge company or when they hit it rich w/their supposed talent.

Uh...ok.

Well speaking only from MY own personal dating experience as a Female, all the guys that I have dated that have been unemployed have been jerks.

They have been lazy + have been the type that think they are above everyone else and think they are "owed" more than anyone else.

They typically have no drive or ambition plus they generally are freeloaders who ask, ask and ask for money, rides, food, you name it.

And the majority of them have drug issues as well as legal issues.

Not to mention bad character flaws.

Not saying every man is like this. This is just from what I have lived through.

Anonymous wrote:It's not something we say in polite conversation, but my DH is 100% NOT okay with women not working. He doesn't respect them. He has said numerous times that he wouldn't have married someone who didn't want to work.

Which is all well and fine because we both work and contribute and feel equal in our relationship, but this is why we don't have kids yet. I don't want to feel lesser because I'd have to take 12 weeks unpaid leave for a baby and he doesn't have to. It seems unfair, like I'm valued less

Does your husband know its a sin for woman to work? Maybe some woman don't work because the want to go to heaven and not hell. Pretty sick your husband wants all woman to burn in hell.

Anonymous wrote:It's not something we say in polite conversation, but my DH is 100% NOT okay with women not working. He doesn't respect them. He has said numerous times that he wouldn't have married someone who didn't want to work.

Which is all well and fine because we both work and contribute and feel equal in our relationship, but this is why we don't have kids yet. I don't want to feel lesser because I'd have to take 12 weeks unpaid leave for a baby and he doesn't have to. It seems unfair, like I'm valued less

I don't either. Unfortunately you broads take advantage of that 99% of the time simply as a reason to not work. Until you prove otherwise, you are untrustworthy.