While I agree what the MIL is doing is annoying, I agree you should just get over it, since this is a rare occurrence.

I also think people should remember that for a lot of people family time is doing just this kind of stuff, reading, watching tv, etc, just in the same space as loved ones. Not everyone wants to be a tourist in the city they are visiting. They aren't there to visit DC. Some people just want to be part of the home/family/routine. They don't want to "do" things together, they just want to be together. While there are problems with this being a constant, and while they should try new things, I think it's silly to take offense at such behavior.

I totally get it, OP, and I'm sorry you're getting such rude responses. It would drive me nuts, too.

I think your DH should tell her that your family has a no screen time in the family room/dining room (or whatever) rule, and simply ask that if she wants to use her iPad, please use it in the guest room. You may never see her, but it's less cruel to the kids than to have her in the room and ignoring them.

OP, there is NO way to tell this to your MIL (or any other adult guest) without not only coming across as a controlling lunatic but also starting a family feud!

I am pretty easy-going, but if someone told me something like that (and I wasn't visiting some hypothetical Amish relative who was against all technology), that would be the end of that visit and possibly any other visit in the future. Have your DH talk to her about more personal time with your children (if she gets back on her ipad) but that is the most you can do.

I think some of you have no idea what this is like. My mil is like this. She is never present in the moment. She plays Words With Friends while her grandkids beg her to play with them. When she's home, lonely and alone (she's a widow), she is always trying to Face Time my kids. She's also a compulsive shopper and hoarder. I've realizedthat she is detached from life and doesn't know how to engage. Apparently she's always been like this. It's very frustrating to hear her push her visits and then ignore everyone during her visits, but I've accepted this is who she is. We just enforce no screen time at the table or in the bath, as she's walked out of watching toddlers in the tub to text people.

Psych eval. STAT. For OP!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom reads instead of playing with the kids at our house. Maybe I should take away and hide all our books.

This is my mom. Every magazine that's new from her (last visit) and the newspapers. (Washingtonian, Bethesda Mag., etc. that she does not have at her home in PA.) I look at it like this, it's her vacation/trip and while she visits with DS, she's already BTDT with her own kids, and she wants to relax at our place, not entertain/be entertained by our kids 24/7.

NO SHIT!
OP needs to take it back a notch!

OP, I see what you are getting at and I don't think you are cray, but I do think that asking her not to bring an iPad isn't something you have the right to do. You can, however, simply ask her not to bring it to the dinner table during the meal, or restrict the kids from using it even if grandma is.

If this is your biggest form of stress during the holidays, consider yourself very blessed!

You could always hide her iPad charger so that the battery goes dead...and then mysteriously sneak it into her bag when she is about to depart.

Anonymous wrote:My mom reads instead of playing with the kids at our house. Maybe I should take away and hide all our books.

This is my mom. Every magazine that's new from her (last visit) and the newspapers. (Washingtonian, Bethesda Mag., etc. that she does not have at her home in PA.) I look at it like this, it's her vacation/trip and while she visits with DS, she's already BTDT with her own kids, and she wants to relax at our place, not entertain/be entertained by our kids 24/7.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does your DH say?

I bet he is not allowed to talk when not asked.

Hit nail on head.

My parents are also heavy iPhone/iPad users. I've basically asked them to follow the same rules that we follow. No devices at the table during meals and if you're going to be spending a lot of time browsing the internet or watching videos/doing anything with sound, go into another room.

My mom reads instead of playing with the kids at our house. Maybe I should take away and hide all our books.

Where is your husband in all of this, OP? Does this bother him? Does he want it to be different? He's the one who should be navigating these waters. If you want to establish house rules about electronics use, fine, but if you want to change your MIL's behavior, you need to be talking and thinking way more about your husband's role in doing so.

OP, you are nuts!

Ugh, OP, this is totally my mom. She loves us and the grandkids but she is totally obsessed with her devices - she and her facebook friends are like teenagers who text in super large font. She can't focus on a conversation because she gets push notifications for everything and has to check her phone immediately (apparently seniors are very into constant words with friends games). I finally told my mom that DH and I silence our phones/tablets since the sounds can be distracting, and she followed our lead. It's not a solution since she's still looking at it all the time, but it did help. We also make sure to play games, watch movies, and do other more engaging activities where she really can't be on the phone.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Could the wifi in your house go down while she"s there?

If it has 3G enabled, that won't do anything. If it doesn't, she could still play the games/anything that doesn't require an internet connection, so I doubt this would be a really effective solution...

True. Most iPads sold today aren't with the 3G option -- wifi only. It's another $100 for the 3G version.