OP, you need to practice "don't ask, don't tell" and act like a prisoner of war with your MIL - don't divulge secrets ( even if you start feeling comfortable), don't let your guard down, and defend the home front. Control the intelligence-gathering. Loose lips sink ships and, uh, your family.

BTDT and it is the only way I can manage a MIL living five miles away and a happy marriage of 20.

Anonymous wrote:Why do you care if you don't have fb? You weren't planning to announce it in some special way on there anyway. I'm guessing your MIL is not friends with your coworkers or boss or friends from high school. Who else haven't you told? Why do you care if your MIL tells her friends?

Because OP wants to take pregnancy very slowly and cautiously. Only 50 closest people should know her period is one week late.

Why do you care if you don't have fb? You weren't planning to announce it in some special way on there anyway. I'm guessing your MIL is not friends with your coworkers or boss or friends from high school. Who else haven't you told? Why do you care if your MIL tells her friends?

Some people just need to play the victim all the time.


Be gracious. Be a grown up. Let this go.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of you on here are plain our rude. There is a difference between your opinion and then saying uncalled for comments. I already said I understand where most of you were coming from. You don't have to agree on how I announced the news. That wasn't the reason for
My thread. It was simply - should grandparents announce the new before the parents. Simple

you announced it. at just 5 weeks (I did not even know I was pregnant) you told all the parents, all the siblings (who will share with their spouses presumably) and all the best friends, and your oldest child apparently . I am not sure who was left out, casual friends, coworkers, acquaintances?

good point. who is left?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of you on here are plain our rude. There is a difference between your opinion and then saying uncalled for comments. I already said I understand where most of you were coming from. You don't have to agree on how I announced the news. That wasn't the reason for
My thread. It was simply - should grandparents announce the new before the parents. Simple

you announced it. at just 5 weeks (I did not even know I was pregnant) you told all the parents, all the siblings (who will share with their spouses presumably) and all the best friends, and your oldest child apparently . I am not sure who was left out, casual friends, coworkers, acquaintances?

+1

Your poor Mil.

I think you are jealous of your mil. She stole your thunder, she gets all the praise you are simply her oven cooking her precious grandchild.

Why did u not tell people that you are not announcing it at all and you want this to be kept hush-hush?

Anonymous wrote:I understand where you all are coming from. We just wanted a creative way to share the news to our family vs a phone call. We shared the news the day we found out with our first child and she never posted anything. My sister in law is also expecting and for some reason my mil didn't post anything about that until we told her about our pregnancy. We know my sil didn't say anything about keeping quiet either. My husband is annoyed with it all but his mom is so hard headed she won't understand why we only wanted to tell family and not everyone. I just assumed it was proper etiquette that the parents get to announce the pregnancy to everyone when they wanted to... not that grandparents.

No, at some point it is very much "proper etiquette" for the grandparents to let their friends and loved ones know they're going to be grandparents again. I didn't call each and every extended relative to announce my pregnancy, nor did I call my mom's circle of friends...she did that. So, that reason for your anger won't fly; it makes no sense.

Anonymous wrote:I am surprised many of you do not call your parents when you have such exciting news. We did keep it to ourselves for over 2 weeks but like I said- I have severe morning sickness so hiding this would be impossible. I thought the shirt idea was a cute way to include my son in the news and it was actually the way I told my husband. I wasn't asking for comments about the way I told them. I was simply asking if it was right for grandparents to share the news with everyone before the parents. Might I add, we did tell her that we were just telling close family (parents and siblings) and that was all so she did know ahead of time. Yes I am hormonal and will cry about stuff.

I do call my parents if I have exciting news! I am very close with them and they knew within hours of when I peed on the stick. BUT I didn't stage a "cute" way to tell them, AND I reminded them very clearly that this was not public knowledge. You sound silly when you keep insisting that the context doesn't matter.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of you on here are plain our rude. There is a difference between your opinion and then saying uncalled for comments. I already said I understand where most of you were coming from. You don't have to agree on how I announced the news. That wasn't the reason for
My thread. It was simply - should grandparents announce the new before the parents. Simple

you announced it. at just 5 weeks (I did not even know I was pregnant) you told all the parents, all the siblings (who will share with their spouses presumably) and all the best friends, and your oldest child apparently . I am not sure who was left out, casual friends, coworkers, acquaintances?

Totally agree. You dressed your kid up in a "big brother" t-shirt and sent your MIL the picture. You did not tell her it was a secret. She assumed based on your behavior that it was o.k. to share.

Anonymous wrote:DH should be on the phone right now telling her to take it down.

And, lesson learned: Coupled with prior issues, don't make the pregnancy a chance to try to get closer. See her less and tell her less (and last if it is anything important).

She should officially be DH's responsibility now, with discussion between the two of you about what can be shared.

Wow, that's going overboard.

OP I think you just need to try to let this one go. You should have told her not to spread the news just yet in the first place. Now that it's done, I think either you or your husband need to tell her not to post things like this about you on facebook, and explain with legitimate reasons. As her to remove it if you want to. Then move on. I would be irritated too, but this is nothing relationship-changing in my opinion. Give the lady a chance, you might be surprised that she'll be completely agreeable to your wishes in the future. And hell, why NOT use the pregnancy as a chance to get closer to your MIL? Not that it's necessary, but can't see how it's so horrible.

Anonymous wrote:Lucky you -- the next 20 years should be fun.

+1

Anonymous wrote:Some of you on here are plain our rude. There is a difference between your opinion and then saying uncalled for comments. I already said I understand where most of you were coming from. You don't have to agree on how I announced the news. That wasn't the reason for
My thread. It was simply - should grandparents announce the new before the parents. Simple

you announced it. at just 5 weeks (I did not even know I was pregnant) you told all the parents, all the siblings (who will share with their spouses presumably) and all the best friends, and your oldest child apparently . I am not sure who was left out, casual friends, coworkers, acquaintances?