OP, other Alexandria family here in similar situation. If you don't qualify for SNAP or can't get food at the pantries, I recommend buying groceries at Aldi - we cut our bill by about 1/2 shopping there. You do have to pay cash or use debit. They may take food benefits - I'm not sure.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, where do you live?

We are in Alexandria.

I remember your previous posts. And you got the same advice last time which was to sell the house. If you had done that, you would be better of now.

Is the $14 an hour job a contractor job are you paid with a 1099? If so, you are not really making $14 an hour after accounting for taxes. Better to get something stable, non contractor that can provide you 40 + hours a week.

OP here. I have not posted before about this situation. This is the first time we have been faced with possibly losing our house. Yes, I get a 1099. And this was not the only job I depended on, I work it in addition to the daycare with the exception I am just not getting anything in here right now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it comes down to it make sure you sell it before they foreclose on it. If they foreclose, they sell it at auction to all cash bidders and often the bank is the only bidder so you can imagine how much they buy the house for.

+1. Put your house on the market and sell. It's better to sell the house than get foreclosed.

Do you have jewelry you can sell to a reputable jeweler? Like diamonds/platinum/gold?

Can you sell one of your cars? You only need 1 car.

Sell anything and everything you can. Liquidate all of your 401K. But I think you should sell, and seriously downsize (rent).

Meanwhile, you guys need real jobs. I don't know what industry you have been in to give suggestions. But maybe for now you should both consider something different and sort of start over. DH and I did that at 33/34 and we haven't looked back. SOmetimes, you've got to take a step backwards before you can move forwards. He was on food stamps, unemployed, trust me, it got ugly, but then we both started over and got new jobs in new fields and things are ok now - we aren't rich, but 5 years into it we make about $180 combined, so it's livable.

We have no jewelry to speak of to sell. Nada. Both cars are paid off, I need mine for transporting the kids as i get them and/or when i find a job. My DH will need his (and actually he will drive his motorcycle meaning gas for his will be minimal) to get to/from whatever job he finds. We are doing all we can to sell. Like I said before, I do ebay, sell on lists, craigslist. Wherever i can find to list stuff to sell, i do. We are definitely looking at all options, including rentals. I worry about our credit in order to get into a rental but will cross that bridge when we come to it. We are looking for real jobs. My DH has one positive lead in all the apps he has put in for. This will be a new field for my DH. As for me, I wanted to go back to school for CNA certification but that is on hold until I can proceed with it as it takes money for the class. Right now, depending on what i know best however I am also putting in apps anywhere I can that I qualify.

Anonymous wrote:OP could you ramp up your before and after school business to include older elementary aged kids, like 6th graders? I'd gladly pay you to watch my 12 year old who is too old for day care but not mature enough to be at home alone for hours at the end of the he day.

My neighbor, a doctor with crazy hours, hired a college age woman to do after school care for her two preteens; this woman picks up the children after school, shuttles me to after school practices and starts dinner at the children's house. Seems like a great arrangement.

OP here: I advertise my business for both PT/FT and B/A school. for Years I always had a full house with the b/a school kids, not sure what is happening anymore to them. I hardly get any phone calls anymore for b/a school care. I do know there are several moms doing it under the table for school age kids, taking in more than allowed, and charging way less than I can in order to make a living. I do mine legally. And yes, I feel same you do, older kids need supervision as well.

Anonymous wrote:Op what is your internet job?

OP here: working for a local company doing some internet research. Been doing it for almost 2 years now, it is a legit company, there was one lapse from Aug to Dec last year and right now they have asked us to cut our hours back to 20 for right now. my DH is doing some work with them now as well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I feel for you. We are in Alexandria too and have found ourselves in similar positions several times since the recession. It is SO stressful. We are once again headed down this path - thankfully the job market seems stronger this time around but I'm worn down from the continued job losses and DH is older than I - workers older than 50 have it especially tough in certain fields. I continually wonder how we will make it. I do have work but it doesn't come close to covering our expenses but will just cover mortgage. We have come within a month of not being able to pay. We think all the time about when to sell etc. We have 2 teens so it is very difficult but we won't dare lose the equity in our house so we would sell if we needed to but that would mean leaving DC and a whole host of other issues.

Anyway, just wanted you to know there are others of us out there who understand what you are going through. Ignore the people who have no CLUE - Lord knows there are plenty of them.

And that was pretty much the beginning of the end for us. The Recession. My daycare business has changed drastically over the years but held us over as long as DH was employed. Him losing his job was the nail in the coffin so to speak. I am thankful for what little I still have coming in and thankful for my health. i see others around me who are worse off than I am and I remind myself things can definitely be worse. Thank you for your kinds words. much appreciated!

Are you on the old town moms listserve? It seems that there are constantly people looking for in home daycares on the list serve.

OP here: I am, and I have posted ads there as well as anywhere else I can find to post ads.

You might check out the consumer financial protection bureau's website if you want info on the possible loan modification. www.consumerfinance.gov

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it comes down to it make sure you sell it before they foreclose on it. If they foreclose, they sell it at auction to all cash bidders and often the bank is the only bidder so you can imagine how much they buy the house for.

+1. Put your house on the market and sell. It's better to sell the house than get foreclosed.

Do you have jewelry you can sell to a reputable jeweler? Like diamonds/platinum/gold?

Can you sell one of your cars? You only need 1 car.

Sell anything and everything you can. Liquidate all of your 401K. But I think you should sell, and seriously downsize (rent).

Meanwhile, you guys need real jobs. I don't know what industry you have been in to give suggestions. But maybe for now you should both consider something different and sort of start over. DH and I did that at 33/34 and we haven't looked back. SOmetimes, you've got to take a step backwards before you can move forwards. He was on food stamps, unemployed, trust me, it got ugly, but then we both started over and got new jobs in new fields and things are ok now - we aren't rich, but 5 years into it we make about $180 combined, so it's livable.

180 HHI is more than livable, that is a lot of money!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, where do you live?

We are in Alexandria.

I remember your previous posts. And you got the same advice last time which was to sell the house. If you had done that, you would be better of now.

Is the $14 an hour job a contractor job are you paid with a 1099? If so, you are not really making $14 an hour after accounting for taxes. Better to get something stable, non contractor that can provide you 40 + hours a week.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it comes down to it make sure you sell it before they foreclose on it. If they foreclose, they sell it at auction to all cash bidders and often the bank is the only bidder so you can imagine how much they buy the house for.

+1. Put your house on the market and sell. It's better to sell the house than get foreclosed.

Do you have jewelry you can sell to a reputable jeweler? Like diamonds/platinum/gold?

Can you sell one of your cars? You only need 1 car.

Sell anything and everything you can. Liquidate all of your 401K. But I think you should sell, and seriously downsize (rent).

Meanwhile, you guys need real jobs. I don't know what industry you have been in to give suggestions. But maybe for now you should both consider something different and sort of start over. DH and I did that at 33/34 and we haven't looked back. SOmetimes, you've got to take a step backwards before you can move forwards. He was on food stamps, unemployed, trust me, it got ugly, but then we both started over and got new jobs in new fields and things are ok now - we aren't rich, but 5 years into it we make about $180 combined, so it's livable.

That's shuttles them. I wish I could be shuttled around, but no.

OP could you ramp up your before and after school business to include older elementary aged kids, like 6th graders? I'd gladly pay you to watch my 12 year old who is too old for day care but not mature enough to be at home alone for hours at the end of the he day.

My neighbor, a doctor with crazy hours, hired a college age woman to do after school care for her two preteens; this woman picks up the children after school, shuttles me to after school practices and starts dinner at the children's house. Seems like a great arrangement.

Op what is your internet job?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I feel for you. We are in Alexandria too and have found ourselves in similar positions several times since the recession. It is SO stressful. We are once again headed down this path - thankfully the job market seems stronger this time around but I'm worn down from the continued job losses and DH is older than I - workers older than 50 have it especially tough in certain fields. I continually wonder how we will make it. I do have work but it doesn't come close to covering our expenses but will just cover mortgage. We have come within a month of not being able to pay. We think all the time about when to sell etc. We have 2 teens so it is very difficult but we won't dare lose the equity in our house so we would sell if we needed to but that would mean leaving DC and a whole host of other issues.

Anyway, just wanted you to know there are others of us out there who understand what you are going through. Ignore the people who have no CLUE - Lord knows there are plenty of them.

And that was pretty much the beginning of the end for us. The Recession. My daycare business has changed drastically over the years but held us over as long as DH was employed. Him losing his job was the nail in the coffin so to speak. I am thankful for what little I still have coming in and thankful for my health. i see others around me who are worse off than I am and I remind myself things can definitely be worse. Thank you for your kinds words. much appreciated!

Are you on the old town moms listserve? It seems that there are constantly people looking for in home daycares on the list serve.

17:33 here again. Wanted to cut and paste some resources with phone numbers for you. If you are already overwhelmed, the last thing you feel like doing is trying to find phone numbers and names of all of these charities. So:

Call Coordinated Services Planning, Fairfax County Department of Social Services at 703-222-0880 for SNAP and social worker assistance.

Some of the food pantries have restrictions on how often you can visit, so nothing wrong with cobbling together a few resources. It's really what we in food charities are here for...and we help each other.

Koinonia Foundation, Inc.
Foundation/pantry address is 6037 Franconia Road
Alexandria, VA 22310
Main phone number - (703)971-1991

Fairfax, Food for Others
Address of food pantry is 2938 Prosperity Avenue
Fairfax, Virginia 22031
Phone number - (703)207-9173

United Community Ministries, Inc.
Address of church is 7511 Fordson Road
Alexandria, VA 22306
Phone number: (703)768-7106 Ext 318

Just listing, more FYI, not referring or recommending, just want to pass along charities with which I am familiar.

Great to learn that you are already using food pantries. Being so resourceful is half the battle.

I'll try to think of some insider tips to make you a favorite food pantry client. My number one suggestion is to keep any appointments you have. Treat the food appointment as you would a doctor's appointment. If you have to cancel, call and do so. Be there on time, or a few minutes early.