That's a nasty little bit of parent-blaming there, PP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you don't want your kid working long hours, go ahead. No one really cares. I am sure your kid will be more than happy to support that. But don't blame your kid when college rejection letters arrive because even UMD is not given now days.

What an anxiety-driven way to live. No wonder kids feel so stressed now. My APA Monitor on Psychology this month has a cover story on college students and stress, and I thought they should really be writing about high school students and stress.

NP here and I agree. The amount of pressure parents put on kids these days is ridiculous. Not everyone is cut out to work 12+hrs a day as a teenager and live a sane life. There was just a suicide at Wootton because of the pressures. They are kids. Teach them some time management, help them out if needed, and cut them some slack. So many parents push all these AP classes and then college on kids who don't even want to go or have any idea what they even want to do once they graduate. So many unemployed college-grads. Let them find their passion in life and work. Let them look back at high school with a few smiles and laughs. Geez.

Actually, Wooten teens are not committing suicide because they are in magnet programs. I would give more credence to your assertion if suicides were happening in Blair, Poolesville, RM magnet programs. Wooten suicides are happening because of family dynamics. Both parents with high paying careers and with little time for their kids. You cannot outsource parenting.

I do agree that for some of the children who are in competitive programs or with a large number of APs - a huge amount of time is being spent studying. And for the kids who want to go this route - an extremely supportive and nurturing home environment is a MUST.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you don't want your kid working long hours, go ahead. No one really cares. I am sure your kid will be more than happy to support that. But don't blame your kid when college rejection letters arrive because even UMD is not given now days.

What an anxiety-driven way to live. No wonder kids feel so stressed now. My APA Monitor on Psychology this month has a cover story on college students and stress, and I thought they should really be writing about high school students and stress.

NP here and I agree. The amount of pressure parents put on kids these days is ridiculous. Not everyone is cut out to work 12+hrs a day as a teenager and live a sane life. There was just a suicide at Wootton because of the pressures. They are kids. Teach them some time management, help them out if needed, and cut them some slack. So many parents push all these AP classes and then college on kids who don't even want to go or have any idea what they even want to do once they graduate. So many unemployed college-grads. Let them find their passion in life and work. Let them look back at high school with a few smiles and laughs. Geez.

Very little. He does most of his homework at school (a mix of AP, honors, regular classes).

I spent a lot more time on homework when I was a kid. It worries me a little that he doesn't do much homework at home actually.

Anonymous wrote:

I'm reading what you write as positives as being negatives. How will your teen be ready to live independently at college without going through the normal developmental steps.? Of course, you don't want your teen doing anything dangerous, but individuation is really important. Its the kids who have never dipped their toes into the experimentation waters who go crazy when they get to college because they haven't learned their limits.

I hear what you are saying. I did not grow up working this hard in HS, so I do feel bad for my DC. DC on the other hand is fiercely independent and very logical, so there is very little influence on what we can dictate. The choice to go to magnet program was DCs (thank God!).

Anyways, I think it is the personality. My kid has access to booze/parties/socialization etc - at home and outside of it, and is not really enamored by it. Even if DC was not in a magnet program, it would have not changed. On the other hand, my youngest who is also in the magnet program, has poor impulse control and is a daredevil. Magnet program did not really change that part of his personality.

I have seen socially awkward and very regimented teens both in magnet and non-magnet programs. ( But, I also see very many socially awkward adults who are highly successful as well). As a parent my job is to expose them to as many experiences as possible and keep the communication channels open. I do believe that if I ban something without having a reasoned and open discussion - it will become the forbidden fruit and thus very attractive.

How will they do in the adult world? Frankly, what I have seen till date - internships, jobs, taking initiative, impressing other adults etc - they are doing a good job without our interference. Will my kid become a bit crazy in college? I am betting there will be more parties for sure. Will they do drugs and indulge in indiscriminate hookups? No, and this is because DC1 is too competitive to let anything mess up the college GPA. It is the personality of the child.

Anonymous wrote:If you don't want your kid working long hours, go ahead. No one really cares. I am sure your kid will be more than happy to support that. But don't blame your kid when college rejection letters arrive because even UMD is not given now days.

"Even UMD"...

But ok, let's say your kid doesn't get into College Park. Is a kid who goes to Frostburg State a failure? Is a parent whose kid goes to Frostburg State a failure?

Anonymous wrote:If you don't want your kid working long hours, go ahead. No one really cares. I am sure your kid will be more than happy to support that. But don't blame your kid when college rejection letters arrive because even UMD is not given now days.

What an anxiety-driven way to live. No wonder kids feel so stressed now. My APA Monitor on Psychology this month has a cover story on college students and stress, and I thought they should really be writing about high school students and stress.

If you don't want your kid working long hours, go ahead. No one really cares. I am sure your kid will be more than happy to support that. But don't blame your kid when college rejection letters arrive because even UMD is not given now days.

I also took 4-5 APs a year in high school and was v involved in extra curriculars. Senior year I also worked about 10 hours per week. I don't remember exactly how much time I spent on homework. But it was a lot. Workload at my SLAC was a breeze after that. In grad school the reading load was higher. But we had study groups.

So HS students are spending this much time on homework with no electronics/texting/IM/etc. distractions? If so, that's ridiculous and not something I'm willing to subject my kid to. If it's this many hours but with a lot of electronic distractions, that's different.

I think it depends on your personality. If you didn't do crazy teenage stuff because you don't have the temperament for it, then you probably won't do it later, either. But if you didn't do crazy teenage stuff because you couldn't -- there was too much pressure on you, or you had too much work, or whatever -- then later, when you can, you will.

Its the kids who have never dipped their toes into the experimentation waters who go crazy when they get to college because they haven't learned their limits.

I hear/read that often, but at least in my limited (anecdotal) experience, it hasn't been the case. I'm one of four sibs who all studied hard and never experimented, and we never had a crazy stage; the same goes for my adult friends. I have three grown children who are pretty sedate, while my youngest (HS junior) is similarly geeky/calm/non-experimental. I've got nothing against those who might want to "go crazy," but I wanted to point out that it's not as if everybody is a powder keg waiting to blow.

I agree with the posters who point out that college is a breeze in comparison. My youngest daughter's older siblings reassure her often that she's going to love the freedom and relative ease of college after the stress of high school.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anyways, this too shall pass. The good news is that because of the all consuming nature of the magnet program, we did not have to deal with - teen rebellion, teen attitude, partying, teens dating inappropriate people (actually, even just dating), experimenting with drugs (though I am sure some do?). We are very much at the forefront of knowing what is going on with their lives.

I'm reading what you write as positives as being negatives. How will your teen be ready to live independently at college without going through the normal developmental steps.? Of course, you don't want your teen doing anything dangerous, but individuation is really important. Its the kids who have never dipped their toes into the experimentation waters who go crazy when they get to college because they haven't learned their limits.

That's my idea, too. Either you do the being-a-teenager stuff when you're a teenager, or you do it later in life (after high school, in college, after college). And later in life the potential harms are much bigger.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine uses 4 hours each day and AP Government takes about two and half. I feel that is too much especially on one subject. Does AP Government, US/World History usually take that much time? I can't imagine how this is going to work in junior year.

I have very young kids now, but I took all AP classes my junior year and senior year in HS 25 years ago. I used to work 5 hours at night, plus one hour of study hall during the day. School would let out at 2:30 so I played sports until around 6-7pm (depending on whether we had a game/meet), and then started homework. AP Chem and AP Physics used to take me the most time, because I would have to do extra problems to make sure I really understood everything. Went to UPenn for undergrad and found it a breeze because I had learned how to work hard in high school. Graduated with honors.

I'd like my kids to do something similar because it's great to learn study techniques while still at home with the parents. That way, you can really take advantage of all the fun stuff college has to offer, while still doing well in a competitive environment.

But you do realize other kids have different experiences (2-3 hours of homeword vs 5 hours) with the same results. So you would do it all over again even though it was mostly for naught.

Also, you do realize that not every kid can or should go to an Ivy calibre school like Penn. If my kid is aiming for middle of the road State U I see no point to them doing 5 hours of homework every night in HS. Better they should develop themselves in other ways -- sports, the arts, social skills, community service, a part-time job.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine uses 4 hours each day and AP Government takes about two and half. I feel that is too much especially on one subject. Does AP Government, US/World History usually take that much time? I can't imagine how this is going to work in junior year.

I have very young kids now, but I took all AP classes my junior year and senior year in HS 25 years ago. I used to work 5 hours at night, plus one hour of study hall during the day. School would let out at 2:30 so I played sports until around 6-7pm (depending on whether we had a game/meet), and then started homework. AP Chem and AP Physics used to take me the most time, because I would have to do extra problems to make sure I really understood everything. Went to UPenn for undergrad and found it a breeze because I had learned how to work hard in high school. Graduated with honors.

I'd like my kids to do something similar because it's great to learn study techniques while still at home with the parents. That way, you can really take advantage of all the fun stuff college has to offer, while still doing well in a competitive environment.

But you do realize other kids have different experiences (2-3 hours of homeword vs 5 hours) with the same results. So you would do it all over again even though it was mostly for naught.