Anonymous wrote:Sometimes people have better things to do than cook for a party they didn't plan.

Then don't attend the party if you are so busy. By accepting a potluck invite you are agreeing to bring something.
There is nothing wrong with declinging and invite if it is not your type of party.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP,
Did you host a potluck, or is this stemming from potlucks you've attended?

I don't pay attention to who brings what, unless I want the recipe for something.

OP here. Yeah, I hosted a potluck this weekend and everyone brought lame things for the most part. But I've noticed the same thing with most other potlucks I've been to.

OP, the solution is for you to stop hosting potlucks and start hosting events where you (the host) provide the food and drink.

+1

Anonymous wrote:Most of the potlucks I attend are at work and anything I bring from home has to commute with me through 5 blocks on foot, a bus ride and a Metro ride (for which I may or may not get a seat). We have only one car, so I can't drive in for the day. I have an infant and a 2-year-old, and am an exclusive pumper whose husband works until 10:30 every night. At least 75% of the people in our office are childless/empty nesters who drive everywhere. Bottom line I'm not going to feel guilty about bringing a bad of chips or a box of plastic forks.

I work in DC and most people come by metro. Typically if there is a potluck people pick up stuff by the office from Whole fooods, Trader Joes or a local restaurant.
If you want to protest potlucks, dont attend. Bringing in something lame is just unfair to others who took the time to make or buy something. If everyone thought the way you did then potlucks would be a bunch of people standing around a few bags of chips and some forks.

Also please don't assume 75% of your office is less busy that you are b/c they are childless or their kids are grown up. As we discussed in another thread, you have no idea what their personal obligations are. Maybe some of them take care of a sick or elderly family member. Maybe they are sick themselves. Maybe they just go home and veg. Who knows, not me and not you.

When my kids was younger and there were events at his school, I'd bring fruit every time. They went to school near my work, not my home, and I have an inflexible schedule. There was no way I could go home between work and events, and no refrigeration at work, so most homemade things were out. So, I'd stop at the grocery store on my way and pick up bananas and clementines (large amounts, if I was supposed to bring food for 10, I wouldn't bring 10 bananas, because I know that 10 bananas is not equivalent to 10 pieces of home made pie), and other fruit that was easy to put out. I'd get a few looks like my bananas didn't count, but I'd also hear a ton of parents saying things like "look, bananas! Finally something you'll eat." after their child had rejected almost everything else, and I certainly never saw any bananas left at the end of the day.

consciously protest the idea that they have to bring something to the party.

^this. The host doesn't care enough about me to host me as their guest. My role here is to help the host look good, and to be grateful to the host for their hospitality.

I think of potlucks after a community event. Not as something I would host for friends and family. For example, pool party sponsored by our neighborhood pool? Potluck. I have friends coming over for dinner? I am cooking the meal. If someone asked me what they could bring, I would tell them wine or beer since I am lousy at picking out wine or beer. If I knew the person well, I might say dessert or a side, but I would only ask that if the person offered and I knew them well enough to know they meant it and would bring something good, not a pack of oreos or caesar salad out of a box. If no one asked, I would have everything I needed for a nice evening and maybe someone would leave and say to their spouse that next time they will bring wine because I pick less than stellar wine.

Am I bothered by someone who brings something not homemade to the pool potluck? Not really. Am I bothered by people who offer to bring something to a party I am hosting and then bring something shitty? Yes, but I learn my lesson and don't accept their offer again.

OP,

Just accept potlucks are like that and stop getting annoyed over this little detail. Really, it's not the end of the world.

People have different ideas of what constitutes quality, and some more or less consciously protest the idea that they have to bring something to the party.

I never host potlucks because I'm a control freak and I like the menu to be harmonious and made of good quality food.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP,
Did you host a potluck, or is this stemming from potlucks you've attended?

I don't pay attention to who brings what, unless I want the recipe for something.

OP here. Yeah, I hosted a potluck this weekend and everyone brought lame things for the most part. But I've noticed the same thing with most other potlucks I've been to.

I haven't had this issue in my circles, but if everything else is good with the people you're socializing with, I wouldn't make this a reason to get upset with them.

Neither have we. Our friends bring great unique dishes (except for the one bachelor who usually brings the alcohol). Sometimes someone brings a store bought item, but it's usually a good bakery item or a full veggie tray.

I would greatly lower my expectations substantially if it were a group of people who don't know each other that well, like a larger neighborhood event.

OP ~ Pots lucks are organized by people who do not want to owe anyone a social obligation that needs to be reciprocated. I mean the occasional pot luck is fine, but when it's the norm, it's almost sad. Blah. Either host a party or don't. Step-up to the obligation. Throw a nice party and I'll reciprocate and throw a nice party and invite you. Of if it's that casual than you should just be glad that people showed up. Pot lucks are about not being indebted to anyone, not committing oneself to anything in particular.

Anonymous wrote:Three pages and I'm the only one with reservations about the food other people prepare?

Cleanliness of other people's kitchens, do they lick their fingers inbetween, worse, and so on?

I'm not a clean freak but it does skeeve me quite a bit.

I was wondering when this group would show up.

Anonymous wrote:Three pages and I'm the only one with reservations about the food other people prepare?

Cleanliness of other people's kitchens, do they lick their fingers inbetween, worse, and so on?

I'm not a clean freak but it does skeeve me quite a bit.

So you never eat out?

Has anyone had the guest who makes a big deal about how busy he is and yet managed to get plastic forks and plates from Sam's?

Anonymous wrote:Three pages and I'm the only one with reservations about the food other people prepare?

Cleanliness of other people's kitchens, do they lick their fingers inbetween, worse, and so on?

I'm not a clean freak but it does skeeve me quite a bit.

Then why are you commenting on a potluck thread? It's obvious you've never been to one.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a guy and have to bring dessert for a pot luck this week. I was going to get a pie from a nice pie shop. Do you think that's OK?

Yes. The standards are much lower for guys. You could show up with a bag of ice and a football and you'd be golden.

0

Yes. But you should be athletic and into manly sports.

I attend two potlucks/year. There is always a sign up sheet. That seems to cut down on the bags of chips etc. although depending on the event someone needs to bring those.