Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The thing is you do not know what the boy was thinking. And the boys can control the urges -- I did. I never pressured, but I would push the envelope so to speak. I want my daughter to understand that.

Maybe a better way to put it, that is not a sexists against men: Hormones are strong. Know your boundaries and enforce them.

"Know your boundaries" is good general advice, for boys and girls about their own hormones, and for boys and girls about other people's hormones.

"Enforce your boundaries"? Well, sometimes you can't, unfortunately, because there are people who like to disregard your boundaries.

Correct. Parents need to raise their boys and girls to be thoughtful, responsible people. People push boundaries because they believe they can--not because of their hormones. Everyone has to learn how to deal with hormones and the changes in their bodies (and brains) that accompany adolescence; no one should be peddling the line that boys have some different set of urges that prevent them from controlling themselves.

Or that it's the girls' job to control the boys.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The thing is you do not know what the boy was thinking. And the boys can control the urges -- I did. I never pressured, but I would push the envelope so to speak. I want my daughter to understand that.

Maybe a better way to put it, that is not a sexists against men: Hormones are strong. Know your boundaries and enforce them.

"Know your boundaries" is good general advice, for boys and girls about their own hormones, and for boys and girls about other people's hormones.

"Enforce your boundaries"? Well, sometimes you can't, unfortunately, because there are people who like to disregard your boundaries.

Correct. Parents need to raise their boys and girls to be thoughtful, responsible people. People push boundaries because they believe they can--not because of their hormones. Everyone has to learn how to deal with hormones and the changes in their bodies (and brains) that accompany adolescence; no one should be peddling the line that boys have some different set of urges that prevent them from controlling themselves.

Anonymous wrote:The thing is you do not know what the boy was thinking. And the boys can control the urges -- I did. I never pressured, but I would push the envelope so to speak. I want my daughter to understand that.

Maybe a better way to put it, that is not a sexists against men: Hormones are strong. Know your boundaries and enforce them.

"Know your boundaries" is good general advice, for boys and girls about their own hormones, and for boys and girls about other people's hormones.

"Enforce your boundaries"? Well, sometimes you can't, unfortunately, because there are people who like to disregard your boundaries.

The thing is you do not know what the boy was thinking. And the boys can control the urges -- I did. I never pressured, but I would push the envelope so to speak. I want my daughter to understand that.

Maybe a better way to put it, that is not a sexists against men: Hormones are strong. Know your boundaries and enforce them.

Ha. My DH wasn't a jerk in his teen years, I'm pretty darn sure of it. The boys I dated weren't jerks. In fact, I've never dated a jerk.

I chose well., but I think there were plenty to choose from, too As insecure as I was about plenty of things, the one thing my parents told me was that boys I befriend or data should make me feel smart and powerful, not dumb and unsure.