Being liked is over-rated and often times the sacrifices are too great. Certainly we must respect the rights and space of others, but to modify ourselves beyond that is to be untrue to ourselves.

I could have written this entire post except I don't have kids yet. It sucks.

I do have a question though - one response asked if OP was smart, pretty, thin, accomplished, etc. and implied people might be intimidated by her for those reasons. Well I'm none of those things except thin, I am thin and in decent shape. But I always assumed that being average, lower middle class, not very accomplished job, kind of plain in all respects was holding me back from finding friends? Like, in high school everyone wants to be friends with the pretty, rich, smart girls. Is that not the case when you're an adult? I was just very surprised to read that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
OP, if you are the type that husbands might like, be prepared for women to not like you. Fact.

OP here. Definitely not that type. Men definitely would have zero interest in me. I am a girly girl--and I am not interested in any kind of guy interests.

The poster meant if you're the kind of woman men are sexually attracted to.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be honest op. Are you very smart, educated, pretty, thin, or articulate? Wondering if people are intimidated by you.

4 of the 5, yes.

OP, which one are you not?

Thin. I'm a size 14.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two of the most popular women in my community are blond, very laid back and non-threatening to others. Neither has a high-powered career, neither is very busy. They just project fun, not haste or anxiety.

They're blond?? Why is that noteworthy?

Because of the dumb non threatening blonde stereotype.

OP, maybe you could reach out to some of the moms you've met, and ask if they want to do a playdate with the kids? It took me a couple years, but I have become friendly with the moms at my daughter's preschool (now her former preschool) - I had to initiate some of the contact, but the others were good at stepping up too. Sometimes we've done 1-on-1 meetups, other times it's been a group of 4-6 moms and the occasional dad.

I also have friends from college and after college with whom I've reconnected with after we all had kids. (and I have my single/child-free friends who I also love because I'm a single mom, so it's nice to not always hang with the Marrieds.)

Anonymous wrote:
OP, if you are the type that husbands might like, be prepared for women to not like you. Fact.

OP here. Definitely not that type. Men definitely would have zero interest in me. I am a girly girl--and I am not interested in any kind of guy interests.

OP, if you are the type that husbands might like, be prepared for women to not like you. Fact.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be honest op. Are you very smart, educated, pretty, thin, or articulate? Wondering if people are intimidated by you.

4 of the 5, yes.

OP, which one are you not?

OP here. I didn't write that I'm 4 of the 5. No way. I'm smart, JD degree, I used to be pretty (now I'm frumpy and dumpy), definitely not thin (30 pounds overweight) but I am a very good conversationalist.

Anonymous wrote:OP, invite someone yourself and go from there. You can build more relationship by getting to know one person at a time.

I think this is the most helpful advice. It takes a while to cultivate relationships, but it's good OP that you are keeping active with your kid. Staves off loneliness.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be honest op. Are you very smart, educated, pretty, thin, or articulate? Wondering if people are intimidated by you.

4 of the 5, yes.

OP, which one are you not?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I meant, I'm so glad that my simpler, less complex friends and I have each other.

Me too.

There is an abundance of women who have no ambition or interests, who don't read, just watch TV, they're not working and are housewives. They find each other pretty likable.

It's a lot harder to find women friends that have interests, are intellectually challenging and educated. You know, the ones who read books and watch documentaries, and enjoy meaningful activities in their spare time, the ones you have something to talk about other than your child's diapers. That's what I'm talking about.

That just sounds ridiculous.

It is relatively easy to be likable, if you truly want to be. Things *not* to do include: giving the stink eye, having the stink face (its you, not me), gossiping, playing predictable high school games (spin games), in general. You would be surprised at women who go about their adult lives wondering why no one likes them, but they are just not easily likable for one or more of these reasons. They are tiresome.

You are smart to ask this question of yourself, OP.

Practice your resting face in the mirror. I have a scowl as my resting face, which shocks even me if I happen to catch my reflection in a mirror or window. I practice a different face in the mirror, so I don't look like a psycho with a frozen smile. I just usually have to remind myself to relax my facial muscles, and open my eyes a little wider, and maybe have the slightest smile.