Anonymous wrote:Is there any actual scientific study that proves sex abuse? Or is this just some pop psychology theory?

http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2002/apr/30/20020430-042342-4180r/

I wonder about guys who marry women who do the little girl voice. I have a boss whose wife talks like she's a preschooler. I wonder about the gender dynamics in her household.

I also know of a foreign service officer who used to bring his weird little girl wife in to the occasional training where he would read the newspaper aloud to her (I guess so she wouldn't embarass him with her stupidity at public events) and quiz her on it afterwards. He was fifty something and she was eighteen. Sometimes I think you really don't want to know what goes on in other people's houses.

Is there any actual scientific study that proves sex abuse? Or is this just some pop psychology theory?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I know a 50something who is like this all the time, and somehow when she talks to men it gets a hundred times more exaggerated. I want to scream and run from the room it makes me uncomfortable and is so bizarre.

My sister said this is a sign of childhood sexual trauma. I have no idea if that is true.

+1

It is, unfortunately.

Yup. Arrested development at an age when something traumatic happened, often tied to sexual abuse.

oh my. This makes me very sad.

Sexual trauma

I assumed they were sexually abused as children.

Some women change their tone to "be polite." I think we're ingrained with the idea of not coming on too strong. Ever more so with earlier generations.

I've put some work into not doing this. A friend laughed at me when we were out at a restaurant and were having a conversation. I switched tone to ask the waiter for more water and went right back into our conversation switching back to my "normal voice." She found it ridiculous. After she pointed it out, so did I.

Marketplace on NPR did a piece on this. It starts at 23 min

http://www.marketplace.org/topics/business/professional-women-little-girl-voices

I have a neighbor who does this sickening breathy baby talk and tried to tell me when I fist met her that I needed to change the way I talk. Such a nut job. Back when we all had kids starting ES she began lecturing me about my dress and talk. I'm not masculine but was a senior level person where I had worked and was not used to this weird way of communicating.

We are in our 50s and in her mind I am wrong for speaking normally. She is very big into being whatever men find attractive. That should be what all women strive for in her mind. You are only as valuable as what the men think of you. She has an abusive husband and I suspect had an abusive childhood. She also never had more than a low level admin job.

For some women it is the social equivalent of a dog showing its belly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a "young" voice, but it is not an affectation. It's my voice! Good grief, I can't imagine the effort to put on a voice all of the time. No way.

I apologize for causing so much distress to so many individuals.

But you can work to change it, keep your tone level, particularly if you're upset/stressed (to avoid what's perceived as screeching), and take a deep breath before you speak. I have a higher pitched voice as well, but i try to be conscious of my pitch when I need to be taken seriously.

Seriously? I find your request annoying.

Not PP, but it's not a request, it's an observation. You can change some aspects of how you speak, if you want to.

One of my coworkers has a high voice and girly diction. She is blonde and dresses . . . vampily? Leopard print spike heels, short skirts, fluffy sweaters. Another coworker said people don't take Marilyn seriously because of how she looks, and I thought, "No, it's because of how she sounds."

In any case, people who underestimate her get quite a surprise. Maybe that's what she's counting on? But I hate listening to her voice.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP has nailed exactly what is going to affect Kirstin Gillibrand on the national stage when she runs for POTUS.

I'd vote for her, but her little girl/valley girl voice is going to damage her.

Why would you vote for someone who called Arlington a soulless suburb?

Truth hurts. Claredon is something out of Logan's Run!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP has nailed exactly what is going to affect Kirstin Gillibrand on the national stage when she runs for POTUS.

I'd vote for her, but her little girl/valley girl voice is going to damage her.

Why would you vote for someone who called Arlington a soulless suburb?

Because that shows me she has excellent insight and taste.

I have no idea who Kirstin Gillibrand is, but +1

Are you serious?

NY Senator. The biggest voice (no pun intended) in congress when it comes to trying to remedy the sexual assault pandemic in the military.

A future vpotus/potus candidate.

Anonymous wrote:I have a high pitched, heady voice and I hate it. I assure you that it is not intentional. I HATE that I sound like a little girl. It's especially bad on the phone. I've had callers ask me if my mommy or daddy is home. I believe it's hirt my career, as I'm perceived as a lightweight or unassertive (I am neither). I've considered getting surgery to deepen my voice.

There is an exercise you can do to "unlearn" the part of this that is learned (maybe even unconsciously). Sit on a low stool (or toilet seat) and hang your head between your knees, and talk, or read a book open on the floor. As you forget and get lost in what you are reading, your voice will go to its natural register. Then you can hear yourself at that level, and realize that you can talk at that register, so then you can train yourself to talk at that register.

I wonder if its an ethnic/racial or geographical thing too.

I know a mom like this at my kids' school. She is very nice but I hate her voice. A voice like that makes one sound stupid. I would be in speech therapy if I had this issue.