Anonymous
Post 08/06/2014 12:44     Subject: Do working moms actually like the "WOHM" acronym??
Anonymous wrote:Um, nice try PP.

Let me dumb this down for you:

SAHM Sally has two precious snowflakes in elementary school. They get on the bus at 8:30, and they get home at 3:30...except on the days they have after school activities.

WOHM Wanda also has two kids in elementary school. Same bus schedule. Wanda gets home from her FT lawyer gig in DC by 5pm (she heads in super early while DH gets the kids on the bus in the morning, so she avoids rush hour and can get home at a reasonable time).

Wanda spends 40 hours a week kicking ass at her day job.

Sally spends her day at the gym, running errands and cleaning (actually, scratch that...Sally has a cleaning service).

If you fail to recognize that one lady is working two jobs while the other lady has a cakewalk, then we are done here...obviously you are delusional.



The correct name is WOHM Wanda Whiner.

Anonymous
Post 08/06/2014 12:44     Subject: Re:Do working moms actually like the "WOHM" acronym??
Anonymous wrote:Let's try this again. SAHM Sally's job is to care for her kids and her house during the core hours of the day while her DH is at work. Her kid(s) might be a baby (who naps) or a preschooler (who also naps) and eventually a kid in full day K (which means seven hours of child free time). Sally has access to her home during the day, and can clean, go grocery shopping, do laundry, run errands, take kids to the doctor or dentist, etc. WOHM Wanda must do these same tasks, but she isn't at home during the core hours of the day...so these chores (ie:second job) must wait until nights or weekends. The exception being the kids' appointments or sick days when Wanda and her DH must negotiate how they will handle the appointments or split the sick days.

Can you understand this? It's simple. All of the household chores that Sally has Wanda has too...but Wanda can't accomplish those chores leisurely during the week because she isn't home...she's in her office. Now I know what you are thinking...that Sally is watching a kid or two. How can Sally possibly do housework with her kids around??? Ask Wanda. Wanda's kids are around nights and weekends when she's working her second shift at home, struggling to clean, do laundry, etc.

Make sense?



Poor you. You sound full of yourself. If you are jealous of SAHMs maybe you made the wrong choice.
Anonymous
Post 08/06/2014 12:39     Subject: Do working moms actually like the "WOHM" acronym??
DH and I are both WOHP.

These abbreviations, SAHP, WAHP, WOHP (and their gendered versions) just help to clarify some of the constraints we have as parents. I don't think any are insulting, just a way of framing an individual's situation to make it easier to understand by strangers on DCUM without having to type it all out.

Working out of the home makes it much more difficult to schedule doctors' appointments, volunteer in the classroom, attend school performances, etc, because there is more travel time involved. Working at home generally offers a little more flexibility, as school and doctors are (usually) closer to home than work, and it is easier to take an early or late lunch to do these items.

I have yet to be a stay at home parent, although I am starting to make plans to do so soon. Less money, but can take care of a lot more family tasks Monday-Friday, freeing up weekends and evenings.

I guess what I find most annoying is that we focus so much on the "mom" part, rather than the parent part.

If we want the fathers to be more equal (take on more responsibility and work, not just the fun stuff), maybe we should be more gender neutral in our language. It would also be more inclusive on non-traditional family structures.
Anonymous
Post 08/06/2014 12:11     Subject: Re:Do working moms actually like the "WOHM" acronym??
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Let's try this again. SAHM Sally's job is to care for her kids and her house during the core hours of the day while her DH is at work. Her kid(s) might be a baby (who naps) or a preschooler (who also naps) and eventually a kid in full day K (which means seven hours of child free time). Sally has access to her home during the day, and can clean, go grocery shopping, do laundry, run errands, take kids to the doctor or dentist, etc. WOHM Wanda must do these same tasks, but she isn't at home during the core hours of the day...so these chores (ie:second job) must wait until nights or weekends. The exception being the kids' appointments or sick days when Wanda and her DH must negotiate how they will handle the appointments or split the sick days.

Can you understand this? It's simple. All of the household chores that Sally has Wanda has too...but Wanda can't accomplish those chores leisurely during the week because she isn't home...she's in her office. Now I know what you are thinking...that Sally is watching a kid or two. How can Sally possibly do housework with her kids around??? Ask Wanda. Wanda's kids are around nights and weekends when she's working her second shift at home, struggling to clean, do laundry, etc.

Make sense?



Uh, yeah. So? Working mom chooses to work, SAHM chooses to stay home. Why are you being so condescending about it?

I stay at home. I make it work. I used to WOHM, at which time I also made it work. Life gets done. Get over your insecurities and do what you want.


She is condescending b/c the working mom doesn't choose to work; she has to work to afford food and housing and such. Her bad choice was not marrying for money.
Anonymous
Post 08/06/2014 11:53     Subject: Re:Do working moms actually like the "WOHM" acronym??
I feel sorry for Wanda's DH and kids.
Anonymous
Post 08/06/2014 11:51     Subject: Do working moms actually like the "WOHM" acronym??
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I always thought WOHM and WAHM were the same thing!

Thanks for clarifying. And I too prefer "working mom." I don't think it's a slap in the fact to moms who work from home or stay at home and don't work (for money--we all know that SAHMs do a lot of work!). It's just a more familiar term to people who don't camp out on message boards all day.


That's the thing, all moms are working moms. The distinction lies in where the work occurs.


Sorry, a working mom has to deal with customer's and adhere to someone else's demands and schedule (whether a boss or their clients).

A SAHM has no constraints on her schedule AT ALL until her kids are in elementary school (and then it's only the bus schedule which then leaves here childfree for hours to do whatever she feels like). And if the schedule of the bus urks her, she can always home school. The only person she might report to is her husband bankrolling her kick-back lifestyle.

The WOHM and WAHM distinction reflects the inflexibility and stress that commuting brings; if you are WAHM and your elementary school age kid gets sick, you can probably continue to work and just set them up with an ipad and some books for the day. Likewise with arranging work on the house, house keepers, etc. They can zip over to DC school for those middle of the day activities just to a do a pop-in, unlike a WOHM who has to budget time for commuting and likely cannot easily return to work after the event.

And need to reiterate the morass and toll that commuting takes in this area, WOHM and WAHM is a very different experience.


Again, this GREATLY depends on the age and personality of your child! How old are your children and how long were you at home with them? I do WOH, but my DD is under 1 year old, and I'm sorry, but my schedule has plenty of constraints on it when I'm home alone with her! Her sleeping and eating schedule/demands are as much as my employer sometimes. I completely AGREE with you that WOH and WAH vastly different, but I also think you paint WAH with a broad brush. Of course, it is more flexible because of the lack of commute, but if I were to WAH for my career, I would still be stuck on a pretty strict schedule.


Haha, I was home for a year with both DC. It is hilarious that you are equating the schedule of a child's eating and sleeping to having to drop a kid off at daycare and run the risk of being fired if you consistently run late. The worst outcome if you consistently run late in feeding your child or miss nap, a cranky baby.
Anonymous
Post 08/06/2014 11:18     Subject: Do working moms actually like the "WOHM" acronym??
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I always thought WOHM and WAHM were the same thing!

Thanks for clarifying. And I too prefer "working mom." I don't think it's a slap in the fact to moms who work from home or stay at home and don't work (for money--we all know that SAHMs do a lot of work!). It's just a more familiar term to people who don't camp out on message boards all day.


That's the thing, all moms are working moms. The distinction lies in where the work occurs.


Sorry, a working mom has to deal with customer's and adhere to someone else's demands and schedule (whether a boss or their clients).

A SAHM has no constraints on her schedule AT ALL until her kids are in elementary school (and then it's only the bus schedule which then leaves here childfree for hours to do whatever she feels like). And if the schedule of the bus urks her, she can always home school. The only person she might report to is her husband bankrolling her kick-back lifestyle.

The WOHM and WAHM distinction reflects the inflexibility and stress that commuting brings; if you are WAHM and your elementary school age kid gets sick, you can probably continue to work and just set them up with an ipad and some books for the day. Likewise with arranging work on the house, house keepers, etc. They can zip over to DC school for those middle of the day activities just to a do a pop-in, unlike a WOHM who has to budget time for commuting and likely cannot easily return to work after the event.

And need to reiterate the morass and toll that commuting takes in this area, WOHM and WAHM is a very different experience.


Again, this GREATLY depends on the age and personality of your child! How old are your children and how long were you at home with them? I do WOH, but my DD is under 1 year old, and I'm sorry, but my schedule has plenty of constraints on it when I'm home alone with her! Her sleeping and eating schedule/demands are as much as my employer sometimes. I completely AGREE with you that WOH and WAH vastly different, but I also think you paint WAH with a broad brush. Of course, it is more flexible because of the lack of commute, but if I were to WAH for my career, I would still be stuck on a pretty strict schedule.
Anonymous
Post 08/06/2014 11:05     Subject: Do working moms actually like the "WOHM" acronym??
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I always thought WOHM and WAHM were the same thing!

Thanks for clarifying. And I too prefer "working mom." I don't think it's a slap in the fact to moms who work from home or stay at home and don't work (for money--we all know that SAHMs do a lot of work!). It's just a more familiar term to people who don't camp out on message boards all day.


That's the thing, all moms are working moms. The distinction lies in where the work occurs.


Sorry, a working mom has to deal with customer's and adhere to someone else's demands and schedule (whether a boss or their clients).

A SAHM has no constraints on her schedule AT ALL until her kids are in elementary school (and then it's only the bus schedule which then leaves here childfree for hours to do whatever she feels like). And if the schedule of the bus urks her, she can always home school. The only person she might report to is her husband bankrolling her kick-back lifestyle.

The WOHM and WAHM distinction reflects the inflexibility and stress that commuting brings; if you are WAHM and your elementary school age kid gets sick, you can probably continue to work and just set them up with an ipad and some books for the day. Likewise with arranging work on the house, house keepers, etc. They can zip over to DC school for those middle of the day activities just to a do a pop-in, unlike a WOHM who has to budget time for commuting and likely cannot easily return to work after the event.

And need to reiterate the morass and toll that commuting takes in this area, WOHM and WAHM is a very different experience.
Anonymous
Post 08/06/2014 10:55     Subject: Re:Do working moms actually like the "WOHM" acronym??




I'm a WOHM, and while I definitely clean my house, and cook, and provide childcare, I also do less of these things than a SAHM. My toilets get cleaned less often because my preschooler isn't peeing (and missing) as many hours out of the week. The legos and playmobile in my playroom somehow manage to stay in the bins while the kids are at daycare. My kid eat breakfast and lunch that are prepared by their daycare provider. Plus, I use a portion of the money I earn to buy take out once a week, pay for someone to come in every 3 weeks or so and deep clean my house. Do I still do what seems like a lot of housework, laundry, and cooking? Yes, but assuming Sally has the same size house, standards of cleanliness and number/age of kids that I do, she probably does significantly more. Most of my WOHM friends also have spouses/partners who are home in the evening, and often "divide and conquer". Maybe Wanda is a single mom like me, or maybe she's got a partner who is so lazy as not to be a help at all, but there's also a good chance that she's not struggling to clean, do laundry, etc . . . while watching kids alone, because there's another adult around to help out.

I don't think you can make a blanket statement that one "type" of mom has it harder than another. There are lots of factors that determine how much work a parent does, both at home and outside the home: number of kids; their ages, stages, and personalities; any special needs; the amount of work the partner does (if there is one); the amount of "hiring out" a family can afford; the amount of childcare, preschool, or school; the kind of job; the commute . . . I could go on and on. Are there stay at home moms who have it harder than I do as a single working mom with 1 child who sleeps through the night, is toilet trained, and has an easy going personality? Yep, without a doubt. Would my life get easier if I was somehow able to stay home with my 1, easy going, fully potty trained, in preschool, child? Yes, but it would also get easier if I suddenly won the lottery and could outsource all the cooking, cleaning and laundry, or if I married someone who loved to clean and carpool.


Best post on this topic ever. I think we should refer to this in all of these stupid threads from here on out.
Anonymous
Post 08/06/2014 10:50     Subject: Re:Do working moms actually like the "WOHM" acronym??
Anonymous wrote:Let's try this again. SAHM Sally's job is to care for her kids and her house during the core hours of the day while her DH is at work. Her kid(s) might be a baby (who naps) or a preschooler (who also naps) and eventually a kid in full day K (which means seven hours of child free time). Sally has access to her home during the day, and can clean, go grocery shopping, do laundry, run errands, take kids to the doctor or dentist, etc. WOHM Wanda must do these same tasks, but she isn't at home during the core hours of the day...so these chores (ie:second job) must wait until nights or weekends. The exception being the kids' appointments or sick days when Wanda and her DH must negotiate how they will handle the appointments or split the sick days.

Can you understand this? It's simple. All of the household chores that Sally has Wanda has too...but Wanda can't accomplish those chores leisurely during the week because she isn't home...she's in her office. Now I know what you are thinking...that Sally is watching a kid or two. How can Sally possibly do housework with her kids around??? Ask Wanda. Wanda's kids are around nights and weekends when she's working her second shift at home, struggling to clean, do laundry, etc.

Make sense?



I'm a WOHM, and while I definitely clean my house, and cook, and provide childcare, I also do less of these things than a SAHM. My toilets get cleaned less often because my preschooler isn't peeing (and missing) as many hours out of the week. The legos and playmobile in my playroom somehow manage to stay in the bins while the kids are at daycare. My kid eat breakfast and lunch that are prepared by their daycare provider. Plus, I use a portion of the money I earn to buy take out once a week, pay for someone to come in every 3 weeks or so and deep clean my house. Do I still do what seems like a lot of housework, laundry, and cooking? Yes, but assuming Sally has the same size house, standards of cleanliness and number/age of kids that I do, she probably does significantly more. Most of my WOHM friends also have spouses/partners who are home in the evening, and often "divide and conquer". Maybe Wanda is a single mom like me, or maybe she's got a partner who is so lazy as not to be a help at all, but there's also a good chance that she's not struggling to clean, do laundry, etc . . . while watching kids alone, because there's another adult around to help out.

I don't think you can make a blanket statement that one "type" of mom has it harder than another. There are lots of factors that determine how much work a parent does, both at home and outside the home: number of kids; their ages, stages, and personalities; any special needs; the amount of work the partner does (if there is one); the amount of "hiring out" a family can afford; the amount of childcare, preschool, or school; the kind of job; the commute . . . I could go on and on. Are there stay at home moms who have it harder than I do as a single working mom with 1 child who sleeps through the night, is toilet trained, and has an easy going personality? Yep, without a doubt. Would my life get easier if I was somehow able to stay home with my 1, easy going, fully potty trained, in preschool, child? Yes, but it would also get easier if I suddenly won the lottery and could outsource all the cooking, cleaning and laundry, or if I married someone who loved to clean and carpool.
Anonymous
Post 08/06/2014 10:38     Subject: Do working moms actually like the "WOHM" acronym??
The original question was, "Do working moms like the 'WOHM' acronym??"

Yes, I like it. I don't find it confusing at all, really. Sorry if others do.

Hope this answers the question.
Anonymous
Post 08/06/2014 10:37     Subject: Do working moms actually like the "WOHM" acronym??
Some posters seem to be making this into a question of: "Who has more right to complain and feel like a hero, WOHMs or SAHMs?"
Anonymous
Post 08/06/2014 10:35     Subject: Re:Do working moms actually like the "WOHM" acronym??
Anonymous wrote:Let's try this again. SAHM Sally's job is to care for her kids and her house during the core hours of the day while her DH is at work. Her kid(s) might be a baby (who naps) or a preschooler (who also naps) and eventually a kid in full day K (which means seven hours of child free time). Sally has access to her home during the day, and can clean, go grocery shopping, do laundry, run errands, take kids to the doctor or dentist, etc. WOHM Wanda must do these same tasks, but she isn't at home during the core hours of the day...so these chores (ie:second job) must wait until nights or weekends. The exception being the kids' appointments or sick days when Wanda and her DH must negotiate how they will handle the appointments or split the sick days.

Can you understand this? It's simple. All of the household chores that Sally has Wanda has too...but Wanda can't accomplish those chores leisurely during the week because she isn't home...she's in her office. Now I know what you are thinking...that Sally is watching a kid or two. How can Sally possibly do housework with her kids around??? Ask Wanda. Wanda's kids are around nights and weekends when she's working her second shift at home, struggling to clean, do laundry, etc.

Make sense?



Uh, yeah. So? Working mom chooses to work, SAHM chooses to stay home. Why are you being so condescending about it?

I stay at home. I make it work. I used to WOHM, at which time I also made it work. Life gets done. Get over your insecurities and do what you want.
Anonymous
Post 08/06/2014 08:30     Subject: Re:Do working moms actually like the "WOHM" acronym??
Let's try this again. SAHM Sally's job is to care for her kids and her house during the core hours of the day while her DH is at work. Her kid(s) might be a baby (who naps) or a preschooler (who also naps) and eventually a kid in full day K (which means seven hours of child free time). Sally has access to her home during the day, and can clean, go grocery shopping, do laundry, run errands, take kids to the doctor or dentist, etc. WOHM Wanda must do these same tasks, but she isn't at home during the core hours of the day...so these chores (ie:second job) must wait until nights or weekends. The exception being the kids' appointments or sick days when Wanda and her DH must negotiate how they will handle the appointments or split the sick days.

Can you understand this? It's simple. All of the household chores that Sally has Wanda has too...but Wanda can't accomplish those chores leisurely during the week because she isn't home...she's in her office. Now I know what you are thinking...that Sally is watching a kid or two. How can Sally possibly do housework with her kids around??? Ask Wanda. Wanda's kids are around nights and weekends when she's working her second shift at home, struggling to clean, do laundry, etc.

Make sense?

Anonymous
Post 08/06/2014 06:25     Subject: Do working moms actually like the "WOHM" acronym??
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Nope. WOHM loves her job. She just can't understand WHY SAHMs seem to be incapable of accepting the fact that (gasp!) they have a sweet gig being able to focus exclusively on their one job (caring for kids and running the house) when their WOH counterparts have to juggle those same responsibilities on top of another job. It's easy to understand, so I'm not sure why folks are so confused that we need a new thread every week.


Your small children watch themselves? Or do you farm that out, thus meaning that you are not, in fact doing that aspect of work?


Let's assume that the PP's child(ren) is/are not at year-round boarding school, and that therefore the PP actually does do child care work, ok? As does (I hope) the child(ren)'s other parent, if there is another parent in the PP's life.