Anonymous wrote:OP here-

I particularly was peeved when he repeatedly said no to the +1 for 10 months and then sprung this on us 1 month out.

If it is not past the RSVP date, no need to be annoyed at all. +1 is +1. you are in the wrong.
If it were me and this were my brother, I'd make an ecxeption to that because brothers come before etiquette, he can do what he feels cofortable doing.

Let's face it, he will probably bored and saw who he'd be sitting by, and thought he'd bring someone along to keep him company, dance with him, hang out with. Weddings alone can be hell! (even a sibling's wedding! Even YOUR wedding!)

Or, maybe this girl is someone he'd LIKE to have "more" with, but just isn't confident saying that yet. give him a break!!

Anonymous wrote:im not the op but i went to my little sister's wedding without a date and guess what?? it wasnt boring at all because it was about FAMILY

Not everyone drinks the family Kool-Aid.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the cost of one additional guest is going to make or break your budget, perhaps you should have planned a wedding you could actually afford.

It's not about the money. We can afford it just fine. We would have preferred to extend an additional invitation to someone else.

If this is true, really truly, let it go.

I mean you could let it bother you but why? (1) He's your brother. My brother does jerky stuff all the time that I ignore because he's my brother and he's not going to change and I love him regardless. (2) You have real things to worry about right now, I'm sure.

You sound homophobic.

I don't think OP is paying for the +1 to fly in, she's just paying for that person at the "welcome dinner" and the wedding. So really, totally ridiculous

Destination weddings. ugh why do people do this in the first place?

Just because your hometown has a beach doesn't make it a destination wedding. Big fucking deal.

Are you angry about who the guest is or the lateness of the reply? You seem to couch it as the timing but deep down harbor resentment about the actual person.

A person's guest is someone to keep them company at the event when the bride and groom are ignoring them. Who cares if that person is their spouse, date, sibling, parent, co-worker or stranger? The guest is for them, not you. If you wanted it to be for you then you should have dictated who the guest needed to be.

If you truly had an issue with the timing just once and for all clear the air and tell him he's a pain for replying so late, that you made the arrangements nonetheless (and go ahead and throw in that it was expensive so that he'll feel appropriately shamed), and that he should thank you profusely for accommodating him. That should make him feel like a toad and make you feel redeemed and everyone can move forward.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's more annoying to BE the plus 1. Go to someone's wedding I have never met as a favor for a friend? Yuck. But sometimes friends to favors like that, so think of her as doing something nice for your brother. You're going to be so busy that day. Let it go.

NOt OP but come on? A favor? Sounds like this girl is getting, minus flight, a free weekend trip? That's not a favor, that's a come up!

A free couple of nights in a hotel to attend a wedding of someone I don't know/care about? Not worth it. I'd definitely only do it as a favor.

im not the op but i went to my little sister's wedding without a date and guess what?? it wasnt boring at all because it was about FAMILY

OP, you need to let this go. Have you ever been to a wedding without a date? Dreadfully boring. You invited him with a guest and he is bringing one. The particulars of their relationship, whether romantic or platonic, are completely irrelevant.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So did your parents cut off some or all of their contribution to your brother's grad school living expenses in order to help finance your wedding?

If so, I think you should definitely suck it up and not complain.

Also, while the girl may not be your brother's girlfriend now, he may be hoping that things will go in that direction. I don't really think it's any of your business; I am from the school of thought that +1 means +1 without conditions. It would have been better if he'd let you know sooner, but if he's still in grad school he may still be getting used to being a responsible adult human being. Cut him some slack.

They did not alter contributions to him at all. And he is 30 years old, not some 23 yr old student.

The girl will never be my brother's gf b/c she's a lesbian and has a girlfriend!

this is just weird.

Anonymous wrote:So did your parents cut off some or all of their contribution to your brother's grad school living expenses in order to help finance your wedding?

If so, I think you should definitely suck it up and not complain.

Also, while the girl may not be your brother's girlfriend now, he may be hoping that things will go in that direction. I don't really think it's any of your business; I am from the school of thought that +1 means +1 without conditions. It would have been better if he'd let you know sooner, but if he's still in grad school he may still be getting used to being a responsible adult human being. Cut him some slack.

They did not alter contributions to him at all. And he is 30 years old, not some 23 yr old student.

The girl will never be my brother's gf b/c she's a lesbian and has a girlfriend!

So did your parents cut off some or all of their contribution to your brother's grad school living expenses in order to help finance your wedding?

If so, I think you should definitely suck it up and not complain.

Also, while the girl may not be your brother's girlfriend now, he may be hoping that things will go in that direction. I don't really think it's any of your business; I am from the school of thought that +1 means +1 without conditions. It would have been better if he'd let you know sooner, but if he's still in grad school he may still be getting used to being a responsible adult human being. Cut him some slack.

Anonymous wrote:I think it's more annoying to BE the plus 1. Go to someone's wedding I have never met as a favor for a friend? Yuck. But sometimes friends to favors like that, so think of her as doing something nice for your brother. You're going to be so busy that day. Let it go.

NOt OP but come on? A favor? Sounds like this girl is getting, minus flight, a free weekend trip? That's not a favor, that's a come up!