Oy, please stop referring to your husband as "hubs". I do understand the need to grieve and such, but if it's as bad as you say, it's a health/safety issue that that has to trump hurt feelings over tossing nasty ol' kitchen linens, IMO.

The fact of the matter is this (like it or not): you have no right to someone else's property. That's one thing. Everything that belongs to your father is HIS to decide what to do with. Nobody else has that right. Yes, it may seem stupid when it comes to towels and sponges...but a dishwasher is actually quite a big thing just to replace without talking about it first...

So. Stop, step back, take a breath. Your Dad is VERY fragile right now. He probably feels like any little change in his home is a big deal. It will get better over time. For now be patient. Talk to him about these things. "Hey Dad, I noticed all these sponges are so dirty, mind if I get some new ones?"

Or maybe he'd rather just be involved: "Hey Dad, your dishwasher broke...Think it would be a good idea to go to Sears together and get a new one? When would be a good time for you?"

I know it's hard to sacrifice your time and family life etc...but it's not like your Dad is just being an ass. He is grieving. Give it some time

A spouse's death is particularly difficult for men. Perhaps it is because they don't have the social network that women typically do or they are too proud to have a good cry in the corner. Patience and time will smooth things out. Try to be your dad's assistant with things in the house that "he" wants handled. Let him take the lead- it will give him confidence.( I had to show my dad how to use the washing machine). Although your mom's death might have been expected, it is still shocking to the spouse. He will not recover at the same pace you will. You are a good, loving daughter that your mother would be proud of.

Anonymous wrote:You are wrong because you're changing what they need to preserve right now in their time of mourning, which is things your mother picked out and used.

In a non mourning period you would be almost right but still wrong because the right thing to do would be to say "hey dad these sponges need to be replaced, want to come with me to pick up new ones or shall I just bring over whatever's on sale?" It's not your house. Your intentions are good, it's just the execution is bad.

This

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are wrong because you're changing what they need to preserve right now in their time of mourning, which is things your mother picked out and used.

+1

+2

Now is not the time.