Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well ..... Your kids should be volunteering... Not to get into college ... But really, they need to be doing something for others.

I couldn't give two Sh-ts about whether my kids get into Ivies so long as they become happy, kind, and we'll rounded young adults. Amazing how parents put education above all else, even above the social well being of their child. To each their own I guess. I am confident that my kids will go to a good college of their choosing and they will find their path, not the path that I choose for them.

I'm a pediatric ICU nurse. One patient that I will never forget was a 16yo girl who attempted suicide because she could no longer deal with the pressure her parents were putting on her about school. She was at a top school in the area, very talented in science and math but she cracked under the pressure from school and home. Her parents had her on a course for Yale from the crib.

We told her mom "she needs some things from home. Next time you go home could you please bring her some underwear, pajamas, hair brush and so forth". Her mom goes home and comes back in a couple of hours with her school work. No clothes, no underwear, just school work. Her mom started to berate her about getting behind in school because she was in the hospital.

It was so bizarre. This girl would rather kill herself than disappoint her parents because as hard as she worked, she couldn't make the grades they expected her to make.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well ..... Your kids should be volunteering... Not to get into college ... But really, they need to be doing something for others.

I couldn't give two Sh-ts about whether my kids get into Ivies so long as they become happy, kind, and we'll rounded young adults. Amazing how parents put education above all else, even above the social well being of their child. To each their own I guess. I am confident that my kids will go to a good college of their choosing and they will find their path, not the path that I choose for them.

I actually have a child at an Ivy. And two in state schools. I was totally hands off. We never did test prep or any of that nonsense. All three are on academic scholarships, none of it need based. Two are on full rides.

You don't have to put tremendous pressure on your kids in order for them to succeed. You just have to be willing to accept that success looks different for everyone.

It's my understanding that Ivy League schools only award need-based financial aid, not academic scholarships.

+1. Typical Ivy parent who has to tell you their kid is at the top of their ivy and hence has an academic scholarship. They may have a fellowship or a special program but I highly doubt that came with money to entice the kid to attend the ivy -- the ivys aren't that desperate for students. -Signed an Ivy grad

Well, I'm no Ivy grad. But I know that there is a lot of scholarship money that does not come from the school. She received three different scholarships. Or maybe it's all a rouse and I'll get a massive bill when she graduated next year.

Plenty of private scholarship money out there -- it's a bit disingenuous to say that your kid is on an academic scholarship at an ivy as the money is not from that ivy, it is from whatever other private source; your kid would have been eligible for that even if they went to VCU.

+1000. Ivies, Stanford, MIT, etc. do not give "academic scholarships only need based.

I can't speak to the others but my DS is at Stanford on an athletic scholarship. BTW, he didn't even think about college till he was a rising junior. Graduated with a 3.5 GPA from an average high school. I feel sorry for those of you busting your hump to make your kids stand out from the pack.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well ..... Your kids should be volunteering... Not to get into college ... But really, they need to be doing something for others.

I couldn't give two Sh-ts about whether my kids get into Ivies so long as they become happy, kind, and we'll rounded young adults. Amazing how parents put education above all else, even above the social well being of their child. To each their own I guess. I am confident that my kids will go to a good college of their choosing and they will find their path, not the path that I choose for them.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well ..... Your kids should be volunteering... Not to get into college ... But really, they need to be doing something for others.

I couldn't give two Sh-ts about whether my kids get into Ivies so long as they become happy, kind, and we'll rounded young adults. Amazing how parents put education above all else, even above the social well being of their child. To each their own I guess. I am confident that my kids will go to a good college of their choosing and they will find their path, not the path that I choose for them.

I actually have a child at an Ivy. And two in state schools. I was totally hands off. We never did test prep or any of that nonsense. All three are on academic scholarships, none of it need based. Two are on full rides.

You don't have to put tremendous pressure on your kids in order for them to succeed. You just have to be willing to accept that success looks different for everyone.

It's my understanding that Ivy League schools only award need-based financial aid, not academic scholarships.

+1. Typical Ivy parent who has to tell you their kid is at the top of their ivy and hence has an academic scholarship. They may have a fellowship or a special program but I highly doubt that came with money to entice the kid to attend the ivy -- the ivys aren't that desperate for students. -Signed an Ivy grad

Well, I'm no Ivy grad. But I know that there is a lot of scholarship money that does not come from the school. She received three different scholarships. Or maybe it's all a rouse and I'll get a massive bill when she graduated next year.

Plenty of private scholarship money out there -- it's a bit disingenuous to say that your kid is on an academic scholarship at an ivy as the money is not from that ivy, it is from whatever other private source; your kid would have been eligible for that even if they went to VCU.

+1000. Ivies, Stanford, MIT, etc. do not give "academic scholarships only need based.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well ..... Your kids should be volunteering... Not to get into college ... But really, they need to be doing something for others.

I couldn't give two Sh-ts about whether my kids get into Ivies so long as they become happy, kind, and we'll rounded young adults. Amazing how parents put education above all else, even above the social well being of their child. To each their own I guess. I am confident that my kids will go to a good college of their choosing and they will find their path, not the path that I choose for them.

I actually have a child at an Ivy. And two in state schools. I was totally hands off. We never did test prep or any of that nonsense. All three are on academic scholarships, none of it need based. Two are on full rides.

You don't have to put tremendous pressure on your kids in order for them to succeed. You just have to be willing to accept that success looks different for everyone.

It's my understanding that Ivy League schools only award need-based financial aid, not academic scholarships.

+1. Typical Ivy parent who has to tell you their kid is at the top of their ivy and hence has an academic scholarship. They may have a fellowship or a special program but I highly doubt that came with money to entice the kid to attend the ivy -- the ivys aren't that desperate for students. -Signed an Ivy grad

Well, I'm no Ivy grad. But I know that there is a lot of scholarship money that does not come from the school. She received three different scholarships. Or maybe it's all a rouse and I'll get a massive bill when she graduated next year.

Plenty of private scholarship money out there -- it's a bit disingenuous to say that your kid is on an academic scholarship at an ivy as the money is not from that ivy, it is from whatever other private source; your kid would have been eligible for that even if they went to VCU.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well ..... Your kids should be volunteering... Not to get into college ... But really, they need to be doing something for others.

I couldn't give two Sh-ts about whether my kids get into Ivies so long as they become happy, kind, and we'll rounded young adults. Amazing how parents put education above all else, even above the social well being of their child. To each their own I guess. I am confident that my kids will go to a good college of their choosing and they will find their path, not the path that I choose for them.

I actually have a child at an Ivy. And two in state schools. I was totally hands off. We never did test prep or any of that nonsense. All three are on academic scholarships, none of it need based. Two are on full rides.

You don't have to put tremendous pressure on your kids in order for them to succeed. You just have to be willing to accept that success looks different for everyone.

No Ivy League school gives academic scholarships - all scholarships in the Ivy League is need based. You are lying.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well ..... Your kids should be volunteering... Not to get into college ... But really, they need to be doing something for others.

I couldn't give two Sh-ts about whether my kids get into Ivies so long as they become happy, kind, and we'll rounded young adults. Amazing how parents put education above all else, even above the social well being of their child. To each their own I guess. I am confident that my kids will go to a good college of their choosing and they will find their path, not the path that I choose for them.

I actually have a child at an Ivy. And two in state schools. I was totally hands off. We never did test prep or any of that nonsense. All three are on academic scholarships, none of it need based. Two are on full rides.

You don't have to put tremendous pressure on your kids in order for them to succeed. You just have to be willing to accept that success looks different for everyone.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well ..... Your kids should be volunteering... Not to get into college ... But really, they need to be doing something for others.

I couldn't give two Sh-ts about whether my kids get into Ivies so long as they become happy, kind, and we'll rounded young adults. Amazing how parents put education above all else, even above the social well being of their child. To each their own I guess. I am confident that my kids will go to a good college of their choosing and they will find their path, not the path that I choose for them.

I actually have a child at an Ivy. And two in state schools. I was totally hands off. We never did test prep or any of that nonsense. All three are on academic scholarships, none of it need based. Two are on full rides.

You don't have to put tremendous pressure on your kids in order for them to succeed. You just have to be willing to accept that success looks different for everyone.

It's my understanding that Ivy League schools only award need-based financial aid, not academic scholarships.

+1. Typical Ivy parent who has to tell you their kid is at the top of their ivy and hence has an academic scholarship. They may have a fellowship or a special program but I highly doubt that came with money to entice the kid to attend the ivy -- the ivys aren't that desperate for students. -Signed an Ivy grad

Well, I'm no Ivy grad. But I know that there is a lot of scholarship money that does not come from the school. She received three different scholarships. Or maybe it's all a rouse and I'll get a massive bill when she graduated next year.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well ..... Your kids should be volunteering... Not to get into college ... But really, they need to be doing something for others.

I couldn't give two Sh-ts about whether my kids get into Ivies so long as they become happy, kind, and we'll rounded young adults. Amazing how parents put education above all else, even above the social well being of their child. To each their own I guess. I am confident that my kids will go to a good college of their choosing and they will find their path, not the path that I choose for them.

I actually have a child at an Ivy. And two in state schools. I was totally hands off. We never did test prep or any of that nonsense. All three are on academic scholarships, none of it need based. Two are on full rides.

You don't have to put tremendous pressure on your kids in order for them to succeed. You just have to be willing to accept that success looks different for everyone.

It's my understanding that Ivy League schools only award need-based financial aid, not academic scholarships.

+1. Typical Ivy parent who has to tell you their kid is at the top of their ivy and hence has an academic scholarship. They may have a fellowship or a special program but I highly doubt that came with money to entice the kid to attend the ivy -- the ivys aren't that desperate for students. -Signed an Ivy grad

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Check out the "College Confidential" message board, OP. These kids put crazy pressure on themselves and worry about college acceptance from middle school on. It is the world we live in.

Wow - that is one scary site! These poor kids are driving themselves crazy.

I don't find that site all that scary. That is what it takes to get into an ivy and frankly it's also what it took when I went 15 yrs ago. Admissions percentages haven't dropped that much, nor is it that much harder than it used to be -- it's just that there's more info out there due to active websites like CC. Frankly I think it's better to start focusing in 8th grade if the Ivys are what you want or drop the dream in 10 th grade if you realize your kid just can't hold on to a number 1-2 rank in the class, than it is to "follow your interests" for years, think you can get straight A's in 11th grade and do a bit of volunteer work to get into the Ivys the next yr and then be massively disappointed when it doesn't happen; I've seen that happen too many times.

Maybe kids won't be "massively disappointed" when they fail to get into the Ivys if they haven't been programmed to believe that the entire goal of high school is being admitted to an Ivy.

I'm the PP you quoted -- the Ivy programming happens in lots of ways. Even if the parents don't care -- and many in this area do -- the kids get it from their friends. Even if the kids aren't friends with that top group in the high school, they still hear that top group speak sometimes and think they should covet the same things. I grew up in an area where Penn is the "local"/closest ivy. 15 yrs ago the top of the high school class always applied to Penn, but because it was local/closest even the "mid range" students knew people who had gone there etc. So you had kids who breezed through high school "following their interests," taking mostly honors classes and maybe 1 AP all through high school, holding like a 3.6 GPA and then when application time rolled around, working really hard on the Penn application saying things like "AND the lady whose kid I babysit every week is a nurse at the Hospital of the Univ. of Pa. so that's another thing that helps me." Um -- yeah -- that's a set up for massive disappointment, when their parents could have involved themselves 4-5 yrs prior to start actually working towards an ivy and then realized by 10-11th grade that their kid was not the top of the class type and guided them in other directions.

I do think the entire goal of high school is where you go to college. Yeah -- prom and graduation and friends are nice but honestly how many people remain so tight with their high school group their whole life that it's worth sacrificing your academic career for that?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Check out the "College Confidential" message board, OP. These kids put crazy pressure on themselves and worry about college acceptance from middle school on. It is the world we live in.

Wow - that is one scary site! These poor kids are driving themselves crazy.

I don't find that site all that scary. That is what it takes to get into an ivy and frankly it's also what it took when I went 15 yrs ago. Admissions percentages haven't dropped that much, nor is it that much harder than it used to be -- it's just that there's more info out there due to active websites like CC. Frankly I think it's better to start focusing in 8th grade if the Ivys are what you want or drop the dream in 10 th grade if you realize your kid just can't hold on to a number 1-2 rank in the class, than it is to "follow your interests" for years, think you can get straight A's in 11th grade and do a bit of volunteer work to get into the Ivys the next yr and then be massively disappointed when it doesn't happen; I've seen that happen too many times.

Maybe kids won't be "massively disappointed" when they fail to get into the Ivys if they haven't been programmed to believe that the entire goal of high school is being admitted to an Ivy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well ..... Your kids should be volunteering... Not to get into college ... But really, they need to be doing something for others.

I couldn't give two Sh-ts about whether my kids get into Ivies so long as they become happy, kind, and we'll rounded young adults. Amazing how parents put education above all else, even above the social well being of their child. To each their own I guess. I am confident that my kids will go to a good college of their choosing and they will find their path, not the path that I choose for them.

I actually have a child at an Ivy. And two in state schools. I was totally hands off. We never did test prep or any of that nonsense. All three are on academic scholarships, none of it need based. Two are on full rides.

You don't have to put tremendous pressure on your kids in order for them to succeed. You just have to be willing to accept that success looks different for everyone.

It's my understanding that Ivy League schools only award need-based financial aid, not academic scholarships.