Well OP, your co-worker does sound unsophisticated, financially inexperienced, and a bit annoying. She also sounds younger than you and without the background to enter adulthood with exposure to social niceties and sound financial decisions. The good news? These are all fixable problems. She could take a money management class at a local CC. Or start to notice some of the ladies in upper management at your office and how they behave. Or even have an "A Ha" moment when she realizes she can pass up another designer bag in favor of paying down her CC debt. Lots of people from modest beginnings blossom figure this out. So who knows? Maybe one day she'll not only have a good financial head on her shoulders, but importantly, will be a kind human being as well.

When she gets there, ask for some pointers.

Anonymous wrote:Lmao. All these posters trashing OP would be thinking the same thing as OP about a coworker like one OP has so cut the crap.

13:29 here -- I'm not trashing OP. I think OP has every right to distance herself from this woman because she is annoyed -- as I am annoyed when anyone talks only about how great they are whether monetarily, accomplishments or whatever else. But I do think OP should just pull away as much as she can and let this woman be. If she thinks 120k is like hitting the lotto, good for her. If she needs CC debt in order to fund the lifestyle she wants, good for her. It isn't OP's job to educate her about how 120-140k isn't that much money here, how she needs to save or whatever else; she hasn't asked for that opinion. She is merely annoying and as with all annoying people -- don't hang out with them.

OP should model financial responsibility by saying things like that's lovely but I couldn't afford something like that (latest co-worker purchase) because we're saving up for xyz.

Lmao. All these posters trashing OP would be thinking the same thing as OP about a coworker like one OP has so cut the crap.

OP -- if she annoys you, you don't have to hang out with her even in a small office; you need to be polite but can be a little more distant when it comes to chatting, decline invites to lunch due to errands or due to the fact that you're brown bagging etc.

But let her have her happiness. Yes in the relative sense for the DC area -- if she and her DH are making 120-140k combined, it isn't a LOT. But in the absolute sense for someone coming from a small town in an area with a dying economy who has no college degree, 120k is more money than she probably ever expected to see in her lifetime -- no matter where she lived. It's likely that her parents or grandparents never made that kind of money their whole lives and they likely managed to own homes and raise a family. If that 120k makes her feel rich, let her. If she in her heart of hearts realizes that it isn't rich esp in an urban area and decides to take on CC debt in order to have a leased BMW and whatever other amenities, let her. You're not her mother and she can live how she chooses. That doesn't mean that you have to listen to it 8 hrs a day either -- just politely cut it off and subtly let it be known you're not interested in her latest purchase without stomping all over her dreams.

OP,

this just shows your skewed values. 100K IS a lot of money!
Now is she right to be proud of it and spend it on frivolous consumables? Probably not. However, she has no kids, no aging parents to take care of, let her have a few years of fun.

You can always play the heavy parent and mention in passing how much childcare and extra-curriculars cost in this area.

Did not read the whole thread, but I call troll.

We are "secretaries?" Really.

OP, you sound like someone who is anxious about her own social status. No, no one should take bread from the breadbasket and save it, so it is embarrassing if your lunch companion does that, but you could easily have discussed the tip, even if you had to pretend to have trouble computing the percentage.

There's a story about Queen Victoria, who when someone from India drank from his fingerbowl, took up hers and drank from it so he wouldn't be uncomfortable. Good manners mean that you pay attention to your companions' feelings, not to your own anxieties about how they behave.

Anonymous wrote:So, we have someone who has disposable money for the first time, and is excited. She is from North of Buffalo, which according to Google Maps, places her in from either lockport or love canal.

In those areas, 100K is a boat load of money. I went to grad school in upstate NY, and I had no concept of the cost of living when I moved down here.

You, on the other hand, are from Potomac. Being from Potomac, why are you working in a crappy office job?

Love this poster

I have many flaunted cloth

OP, stop using the word "legit" like that and then you'll get a promotion out of the department and you won't have to talk to her ever again. Problem solved.

Anonymous wrote:OP here-

I am not bitter about my circumstances. I used to work in another field and switched to something with fewer hours and less stress/responsibility when I rejoined the workforce after being home with small children for several years.

After many years in spent wiping butts and drying tears (my own) I decided to return to the workforce. I sent mu resume to all of the tech companies I worked for or competed against. Nobody would hire me. I didn't keep up on all the advancements in "my" field. So now I work as a lowly secretary. So low in fact that I work with an uneducated yahoo from Dinglebarry, NY. Idiot thinks she's rich because she and her DH make a combined $140,000. What a maroon. She has no idea she's still poor.

Anonymous wrote:OP, just don't go out to lunch with her so often. You each have different views of things, and they don't mesh.

I don't know about OP but in my office, chatter goes on all day... not just at lunch.

You could be kind and model some social graces. Help her out a bit.

I grew up poor and watched what my bosses did. Learned a lot.

Anonymous wrote:I am just like your coworker! How do I stop talking about money?

Realize that there will always be those who have more than you and there will always be those who have less. Be grateful for what you have. Save money. Spend wisely. SHOW people that you are an interesting fun person by getting out there and doing things. Then talk about what you did (ball games, picnics, dining out, hiking, whatever) when you're trying to make conversation at the office. Do not compare yourself to others. Distance yourself from those who tempt you to compare. Stop watching Keeping Up With the Kardashians.