Anonymous
Post 07/16/2014 21:54     Subject: Re:2 bedroom condo and 8 adults/5 kids at the beach!
Anonymous wrote:No way. I would tell my husband no f***ing way. I'd point out there will be no sex for the next 6 months as you will be in intense therapy recovering from the PTSD of this vacation.

That's not a vacation that's a trip to hell.

All of you are too old to vacation like that. I'm assuming this is not being done due to finances.


THIS. I agree completely. What the hell is wrong with your MIL??!! A rhetorical question, of course.
Anonymous
Post 07/16/2014 21:52     Subject: 2 bedroom condo and 8 adults/5 kids at the beach!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How crazy is this? DH's brother owns a condo at the beach - it is a 2 bedroom/ 2 bath.His entire family is going on a beach trip for 3 days/2 nights and we are all cramming into this place. That's his parents, his 2 brothers, their wives and 2 kids each and us and our kid. Our kid still naps so I have no idea how this is going to work. Though the condo is in a hotel building, the brothers refuse to get a hotel room because "it takes away from the family trip". I'm pretty sure having 3 unhappy wives will do that too.

Any tips on how to handle this? I can't refuse to go. I can't book a room for myself. These are just not options if I want to remain married. I'm really most concerned about the fact that the bedrooms are directly adjacent to the living area and our kid is a light sleeper. So while I don't mind to push her bedtime on vacation, she will be unable to sleep with his loud family up until all hours. And same goes for naps.

Help!


bed 1=1 king bed=1 couple MIL/FIL with overflow kids from bed 2
bed 2=2 fulls=1 couple and OP/DH/child
LR=1 pull-out=1 couple and all the bigger kids on the floor-couple with the most kids

Arrive late and leave early. By night 2 one of the couples will likely vacate.



Just for fun over lunch I was trying to figure out how the proposed scenario would even work. Doesn't the above leave out one whole family??


+10000

No kidding. I swear my MIL wrote that post. NP here. What kind of IL's plan a vacation with the anticipation that one couple/family will be so uncomfortable they will leave. That *should* be unconscionable. What bitter MIL PP must be!!

Anonymous
Post 07/16/2014 17:41     Subject: 2 bedroom condo and 8 adults/5 kids at the beach!
OP, invite your parents to beach at a nearby place and go stay with them. Tell DH that you have to respect your parents too.
Anonymous
Post 07/16/2014 17:29     Subject: 2 bedroom condo and 8 adults/5 kids at the beach!
Yep, get your SILs involved and all of you put your collective feet down. Saas-bahu style. Or have the eldest son tell the parents.
Anonymous
Post 07/16/2014 16:50     Subject: 2 bedroom condo and 8 adults/5 kids at the beach!
1. Team up with the SILs to rebel against these insane sleeping conditions.

2. Make your husband deal with the cranky 3 year old all during the vacation.
Anonymous
Post 07/16/2014 15:25     Subject: 2 bedroom condo and 8 adults/5 kids at the beach!
You and your SILs should book a room that comfortably sleeps all of you. Leave the children with the husbands in the chaos. Enjoy your child free girls weekend.
Anonymous
Post 07/16/2014 14:42     Subject: Re:2 bedroom condo and 8 adults/5 kids at the beach!
If you need to be a submissive wife then you are probably going to have to suck this up and go. Adults go in the beds and kids campout on the floor. For the naps, have DD take hers in one of the rooms during the day and close the door or do no naps and try to fix the nightmare of changing the sleep routine when you get back.
Anonymous
Post 07/16/2014 14:38     Subject: 2 bedroom condo and 8 adults/5 kids at the beach!
Anonymous wrote:I don't think people are saying something about the marriage being in trouble because of the number of people sharing a house. It is the fact that OP is clearly not pleased with this but cannot say anything to DH because he wouldn't allow anything different. I cannot imagine DH forcing me into a situation that I hated, especially when there is a reasonable alternative.


This. The OP says she can't ask for a hotel room because it would be the end of her marriage, her husband would never allow it, etc. That's the problem--her husband is forcing her to do something she clearly does not want to do, and she thinks she can't object. This is a bad dynamic, and its the source of the problem.
Anonymous
Post 07/16/2014 14:31     Subject: 2 bedroom condo and 8 adults/5 kids at the beach!
Get sick the day you leave. Seriously. Make yourself throw up where your husband can hear you. Tell him you have diarrhea. Use make up and make dark shadows around your eyes. Call a SIL and tell her- nobody will want you to come. Act very disappointed.
Anonymous
Post 07/16/2014 12:22     Subject: 2 bedroom condo and 8 adults/5 kids at the beach!
Anonymous wrote:How are all if those people going to use two bathrooms? That's going to get messy fast. I would tell my husband he's welcome to go but I'm staying home. Good luck.


this was my first thought too. Ugh, fake being sick and stay home.
Anonymous
Post 07/16/2014 12:20     Subject: 2 bedroom condo and 8 adults/5 kids at the beach!
I'd stay home and send rest of family. What you describe is the vacation from he'll.
Anonymous
Post 07/16/2014 12:06     Subject: 2 bedroom condo and 8 adults/5 kids at the beach!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How crazy is this? DH's brother owns a condo at the beach - it is a 2 bedroom/ 2 bath.His entire family is going on a beach trip for 3 days/2 nights and we are all cramming into this place. That's his parents, his 2 brothers, their wives and 2 kids each and us and our kid. Our kid still naps so I have no idea how this is going to work. Though the condo is in a hotel building, the brothers refuse to get a hotel room because "it takes away from the family trip". I'm pretty sure having 3 unhappy wives will do that too.

Any tips on how to handle this? I can't refuse to go. I can't book a room for myself. These are just not options if I want to remain married. I'm really most concerned about the fact that the bedrooms are directly adjacent to the living area and our kid is a light sleeper. So while I don't mind to push her bedtime on vacation, she will be unable to sleep with his loud family up until all hours. And same goes for naps.

Help!


bed 1=1 king bed=1 couple MIL/FIL with overflow kids from bed 2
bed 2=2 fulls=1 couple and OP/DH/child
LR=1 pull-out=1 couple and all the bigger kids on the floor-couple with the most kids

Arrive late and leave early. By night 2 one of the couples will likely vacate.



Just for fun over lunch I was trying to figure out how the proposed scenario would even work. Doesn't the above leave out one whole family??
Anonymous
Post 07/16/2014 11:56     Subject: 2 bedroom condo and 8 adults/5 kids at the beach!
Get a spine, op.

You and your kids should get a room with two beds.
Anonymous
Post 07/16/2014 11:37     Subject: 2 bedroom condo and 8 adults/5 kids at the beach!
I don't think people are saying something about the marriage being in trouble because of the number of people sharing a house. It is the fact that OP is clearly not pleased with this but cannot say anything to DH because he wouldn't allow anything different. I cannot imagine DH forcing me into a situation that I hated, especially when there is a reasonable alternative.
Anonymous
Post 07/16/2014 11:18     Subject: 2 bedroom condo and 8 adults/5 kids at the beach!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:HFN, I would not do it. If you marriage can't survive a hotel room for you and child, you have bigger problems than the condo.


You could also say that if a marriage can't survive a crowded condo for a couple nights, then you have bigger problems than the condo.


Not really the same. If I didn't have kids, I could deal with this situation. But am I going to force my kid to nap in the car or stroller because of this situation? Absolutely not. Not to mention what could happen if there was a fire. It has nothing to do with the state of marriage. Granted, DH isn't an asshole and would never force us to stay in this situation.


I think it all depends on the life you live. Most of the posters here who are absolutely shocked and horrified at sharing bathrooms or sleeping in a living room probably live in massive homes with multiple bathrooms. In the majority of the world, sharing bathrooms and being a little crowded is just par for the course. Only in rich people world would it be grounds for divorce or set off such an outrage.


But, here's the thing. We don't live in a 3rd world country. We do have fabulous amenities as an American citizen. You are welcome to climb on your soapbox and preach about how spoiled we all are, but here's the thing, we are Americans. We do have the option to vacation with our own bedroom and bath. Some of us choose to exercise this right. I'm pretty sure Thomas Jefferson would want his own bedroom and bath too.


Your view of "American" is very self-centric. There are many, many Americans who do not have fabulous amenities and who don't have the option to vacation in places where they don't need to share bedrooms or bathrooms. Many can't afford to vacation at all.


Again, you aren't going to make me feel guilty. I've worked hard for what I have. I've earned my money legitimately and feel no guilt choosing to spend my money on a nice vacation. I'm fully aware there are lots of people in the US who do not have the money to vacation. I do not get the impression from the OP that the reason they are squeezing into this tiny condo with so many people is due to finances. If it is, then I think they should make the best of the situation and enjoy the vacation.