Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never the way you describe. We disagree, we get frustrated, but we never yell. My husband is the most mellow, laid back guy on the planet--not sure what it would take to make him yell. I like it that way

+1

If my husband ever yelled at me, I would be really scared. It would be very out of character.

Wow, really? My husband has told me he hates me several times and that I'm a bitch.

Probably once or twice a month. Married 18 years.

Bicker-yes. Fight, like yell and lose our shit? Never.

My husband is so chill plus one of us always caves to the person who feels strongest about an issue.

We bicker a lot over stupid stuff. I don't think we'd ever yell for an hour, though, as someone would leave before then.

Anonymous wrote:Never as you describe.

We disagree. We get annoyed. I would say we even get truly angry on occasion. But we talk about it and we never get nasty.

And by the way, nothing gets repressed. The exact opposite in my marriage. I say what's on my mind and what's bothering me, practically to a fault. And then we both get over it and move on. I think that's part of the reason we don't have huge blowouts. Not a whole lot stifled up.

+1.

A good 2-3 times a year for more than 10 years. Unlike a lot of posters, though, we've had some really huge, bad stuff happen in our lives that pushes both of our buttons. DH has dealt with depression that went untreated for way too long. We've both lost close family members and been caregivers when we didn't expect to be. Our finances hit the rocks. Weathering that together, even with some yelling (and, hey, usually I was being the names he called me and vice versa), isn't that bad.

Never as you describe.

We disagree. We get annoyed. I would say we even get truly angry on occasion. But we talk about it and we never get nasty.

And by the way, nothing gets repressed. The exact opposite in my marriage. I say what's on my mind and what's bothering me, practically to a fault. And then we both get over it and move on. I think that's part of the reason we don't have huge blowouts. Not a whole lot stifled up.

9 years together with a child.

We would have a fight like that maybe once every few years. But it was very, very, very rare for us to get that heated.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there is a such thing as both fighting to much and fighting to little. I know two couples who ended their relationship that never fought hardly ever. In one the wife was carrying on a secret affair, in the other I think they both got bored with each other and mutually agreed to break up.

I also think the couples that don't fight are more of a risk for something psycho happening because they repress all their emotions.

Since when does not fighting = repressed emotions? Seriously, there are many better, more efficient ways to express oneself than "fighting".

Anonymous wrote:I think there is a such thing as both fighting to much and fighting to little. I know two couples who ended their relationship that never fought hardly ever. In one the wife was carrying on a secret affair, in the other I think they both got bored with each other and mutually agreed to break up.

I also think the couples that don't fight are more of a risk for something psycho happening because they repress all their emotions.

Anonymous wrote:I think there is a such thing as both fighting to much and fighting to little. I know two couples who ended their relationship that never fought hardly ever. In one the wife was carrying on a secret affair, in the other I think they both got bored with each other and mutually agreed to break up.

And the causal factor in each case was the fighting, or the lack thereof.

I think there is a such thing as both fighting to much and fighting to little. I know two couples who ended their relationship that never fought hardly ever. In one the wife was carrying on a secret affair, in the other I think they both got bored with each other and mutually agreed to break up.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seriously? Folks never fight or have passionate disagreements where emotions run deep? I suspect there are a lot of repressed DHs here...

Typical response from someone who is either an unreasonable person, is an a relationship with an unreasonable person, or both.

Reasonable people know how to talk about things in a constructive manner, which does not mean it is without emotion. They also know how to compromise.

My point is if no one is fighting, why so much cheating and divorce? As for why DH, stats show most DCUM DW so hence the other side of these post

Well, this is a self-selecting group answering this.

Also, remember that the divorce rate is much lower for couples who married older, have college and advanced degrees and are higher SES. Pretty much describes DCUM.

Ha, maybe because people grow angry/resentful and need to fight out some of these issues! : )

Anonymous wrote:All these nevers have me thinking I should break up with my boyfriend.....

Unless you like the drama. I hate drama.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seriously? Folks never fight or have passionate disagreements where emotions run deep? I suspect there are a lot of repressed DHs here...

Typical response from someone who is either an unreasonable person, is an a relationship with an unreasonable person, or both.

Reasonable people know how to talk about things in a constructive manner, which does not mean it is without emotion. They also know how to compromise.

My point is if no one is fighting, why so much cheating and divorce? As for why DH, stats show most DCUM DW so hence the other side of these post

Well, this is a self-selecting group answering this.

Also, remember that the divorce rate is much lower for couples who married older, have college and advanced degrees and are higher SES. Pretty much describes DCUM.