Anonymous
07/12/2014 16:30
Subject: No-kid weddings
Anonymous wrote:I think its narcissistic to think that your kids belong at every event. You wouldn't expect to bring them to a cocktail party, which is essentially what a wedding is.
I see no problem with it. If you can't be apart from your kids for 4 hours, that's a problem.
I completely agree!
Anonymous
07/12/2014 16:26
Subject: Re:No-kid weddings
Anonymous wrote:We had a no-kid wedding. Our ceremony was at 6pm and the party went until midnight. We wanted adults only. Our friends got sitters. And we get sitters if we now go to a wedding despite us having kids. I rather be a grown up guest at a wedding. Not a grown up guest who is watching my kids.
Personal preference. You could always skip the wedding.
+1
I can't remember seeing kids at any wedding I've been to.
Anonymous
07/12/2014 16:07
Subject: No-kid weddings
We had a "kids please!" Wedding because most of our friends had 2 or 3 by the time we got married and our wedding was out of town and a few hours drive for many people. 25% of our guest list was under 12 and about half of people left their kids at home so they could have a fun night out, have some drinks, and take a shuttle back to the hotel.
Anonymous
07/12/2014 16:07
Subject: No-kid weddings
No kid weddings are boring.
And black tie weddings are a PITA.
And black tie weddings are a PITA.
Anonymous
07/12/2014 16:03
Subject: No-kid weddings
How is this concept that foreign to someone nowadays? People don't have to hate kids not to want them in their wedding.
Anonymous
07/12/2014 16:02
Subject: No-kid weddings
Anonymous wrote:My cousin got married several years ago and it was a "no kid" wedding. I had a two month old nursing infant and two older kids. She kept saying that she was looking forward to seeing me, etc, etc. What an adventure it would be for the older kids to babysit their baby brother in the hotel room while we celebrated downstairs. I told her there was no way I'd leave a 12 and 9 year old with their baby brother with no way to feed him. Her big concern was adding 3 more guests to the "expense list" for meals. I finally told it wouldn't be possible for baby and I to attend (the older two never had planned on wanting to come).
My parents went to the wedding/reception. Guess what? A buttload of kids everywhere! My kids ARE well behaved (I know everybody says this) and she hadn't even met 2 of the three. Of course it got back to me and the other cousins that didn't go b/c of kids that she straight up lied to us about it being a "no kid" wedding.
Fast forward 3 years when her brother got married. Again, we're told its kid free with certain exceptions---I was now nursing another newborn. My Aunt was all over the cousins begging them to come, she was trying to right the wrong of 3 years earlier. Um, no thanks. I sent a card and gift from the registry with my parents instead.
What I'm saying is, make your wedding kid-free if you want, don't be pissed when you have effectively excluded some of your guests and for fecks sake, don't invite kids from some families and not others if you don't want family to find out that you really didn't mean kid free
it sounds here like the problem isn't the no kid weddings, it's weirdo relatives.
Anonymous
07/12/2014 15:58
Subject: Re:No-kid weddings
We had a no-kid wedding. Our ceremony was at 6pm and the party went until midnight. We wanted adults only. Our friends got sitters. And we get sitters if we now go to a wedding despite us having kids. I rather be a grown up guest at a wedding. Not a grown up guest who is watching my kids.
Personal preference. You could always skip the wedding.
Personal preference. You could always skip the wedding.
Anonymous
07/12/2014 15:57
Subject: Re:No-kid weddings
My wedding had no kids at it. (There was one newborn, and that baby's parents brought the grandma who sat with the baby while the parents partied with us and was ready to whisk the baby away if she cried during the ceremony or toasts.)
1. The wedding was at a mansion in Mexico overlooking the ocean. The house was NOT child-friendly. Winding staircases without bannisters, patio with very low ledges that a kid could fall over, etc.
2. About 25 of the guests were professional dancers so our dance floor was NUTS. Would not have really been safe for toddlers.
3. A few of the toasts (there were like 5) were quite saucy.
4. There was a cigar-rolling station and people were smoking.
5. It was a sunset wedding and we partied past midnight.
6. We had fire dancers. I was glad to not worry about any little kids running towards fire.
It was just not child-friendly.
1. The wedding was at a mansion in Mexico overlooking the ocean. The house was NOT child-friendly. Winding staircases without bannisters, patio with very low ledges that a kid could fall over, etc.
2. About 25 of the guests were professional dancers so our dance floor was NUTS. Would not have really been safe for toddlers.
3. A few of the toasts (there were like 5) were quite saucy.
4. There was a cigar-rolling station and people were smoking.
5. It was a sunset wedding and we partied past midnight.
6. We had fire dancers. I was glad to not worry about any little kids running towards fire.
It was just not child-friendly.
Anonymous
07/12/2014 15:50
Subject: No-kid weddings
Anonymous wrote:Why do people take such offense to no kid weddings? If your kids are invited, great! If they aren't and that's a problem for you, just don't go...what am I missing? Unless it's a close relative, I'm not seeing the issue.
We're going to a no kid wedding tonight - sure, the babysitter is expensive, but we wanted to go so we're paying. Love our kids but also looking forward to a few hours with just my husband.
Same reason they take offense to destination weddings. Because people really do expect you to say yes and bend over backward to go. Rarely are the people with kids only on the fringes of the couple's family and friends.
Anonymous
07/12/2014 15:47
Subject: No-kid weddings
My cousin got married several years ago and it was a "no kid" wedding. I had a two month old nursing infant and two older kids. She kept saying that she was looking forward to seeing me, etc, etc. What an adventure it would be for the older kids to babysit their baby brother in the hotel room while we celebrated downstairs. I told her there was no way I'd leave a 12 and 9 year old with their baby brother with no way to feed him. Her big concern was adding 3 more guests to the "expense list" for meals. I finally told it wouldn't be possible for baby and I to attend (the older two never had planned on wanting to come).
My parents went to the wedding/reception. Guess what? A buttload of kids everywhere! My kids ARE well behaved (I know everybody says this) and she hadn't even met 2 of the three. Of course it got back to me and the other cousins that didn't go b/c of kids that she straight up lied to us about it being a "no kid" wedding.
Fast forward 3 years when her brother got married. Again, we're told its kid free with certain exceptions---I was now nursing another newborn. My Aunt was all over the cousins begging them to come, she was trying to right the wrong of 3 years earlier. Um, no thanks. I sent a card and gift from the registry with my parents instead.
What I'm saying is, make your wedding kid-free if you want, don't be pissed when you have effectively excluded some of your guests and for fecks sake, don't invite kids from some families and not others if you don't want family to find out that you really didn't mean kid free
My parents went to the wedding/reception. Guess what? A buttload of kids everywhere! My kids ARE well behaved (I know everybody says this) and she hadn't even met 2 of the three. Of course it got back to me and the other cousins that didn't go b/c of kids that she straight up lied to us about it being a "no kid" wedding.
Fast forward 3 years when her brother got married. Again, we're told its kid free with certain exceptions---I was now nursing another newborn. My Aunt was all over the cousins begging them to come, she was trying to right the wrong of 3 years earlier. Um, no thanks. I sent a card and gift from the registry with my parents instead.
What I'm saying is, make your wedding kid-free if you want, don't be pissed when you have effectively excluded some of your guests and for fecks sake, don't invite kids from some families and not others if you don't want family to find out that you really didn't mean kid free
Anonymous
07/12/2014 15:45
Subject: Re:No-kid weddings
I'm a divorced mom. I'm almost always delighted when someone has a kid free wedding because it is the perfect excuse to not attend. For example:
Dear Cousin Larla,
I am delighted to hear of your engagement and am so touched that you have invited me to share your special day. Unfortunately, Snowflake is with her dad both the weekend before and the weekend after your wedding. So I just can't leave her with a sitter for two days. Thanks so much for thinking of me and I look forward to seeing photos of the ceremony and reception.
Lots of love,
Cousin K----
That way, without hurting her feelings, I can skip Cousin Larla's third wedding, this time to the groom with the gambling addiction and teen children he doesn't see.
Dear Cousin Larla,
I am delighted to hear of your engagement and am so touched that you have invited me to share your special day. Unfortunately, Snowflake is with her dad both the weekend before and the weekend after your wedding. So I just can't leave her with a sitter for two days. Thanks so much for thinking of me and I look forward to seeing photos of the ceremony and reception.
Lots of love,
Cousin K----
That way, without hurting her feelings, I can skip Cousin Larla's third wedding, this time to the groom with the gambling addiction and teen children he doesn't see.
Anonymous
07/12/2014 15:42
Subject: No-kid weddings
I don't think I've ever seen a kid at a wedding. Definitely no kids at receptions. All if the wedding receptions I've been to were formal sit down dinners that lasted until 11 pm or later. They were not kid friendly events at all.
Anonymous
07/12/2014 15:42
Subject: No-kid weddings
Why do PPs think that when an invitation comes their way, it must include their kids? Good grief.
Anonymous
07/12/2014 15:39
Subject: Re:No-kid weddings
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
I think its narcissistic to think that your kids belong at every event. You wouldn't expect to bring them to a cocktail party, which is essentially what a wedding is.
I see no problem with it. If you can't be apart from your kids for 4 hours, that's a problem.
I had a no-kid wedding for this reason. We wanted an elegant evening party.
You can have an elegant evening party and have kids. We did. I'm not saying you should allow kids but to say it can't be a nice wedding with children is ridiculous.
I agree with you PP. We had an elegant evening party, but kids were there. Some people left early if their kids were babies. My 2.5 and 6 year old nieces had a blast killing the dance floor. I was so in the moment during my wedding that something like a baby crying wouldn't have phased me in the least. The six year old ADORED being in the wedding because she got to be a flower girl for her cool aunt and favorite uncle and still talks about it now. Everyone can have the party they want, and if it's no kids, whatever, but I personally don't get it.
Anonymous
07/12/2014 15:39
Subject: Re:No-kid weddings
We had a no-kid wedding except for our nephews & nieces. We got married later and the place would be awash with kids if we didn't. That said - we did several things to try to help:
- Reception was next door to the two hotels we had picked.
- We had babysitting services lined up through the hotels so non-locals could find someone.
- We allowed special cases - nursing babies; friends with exceptional circumstances and we had an on-site babysitter for the kids who did come.
While our kids were babies/toddlers - we missed a few weddings, went to more than a few solo while the other stayed home with the kids. now that they are bigger - babysitters are easy but now everyone's married
So enjoy the weddings while you can! Make it work and go have fun with your friends.
- Reception was next door to the two hotels we had picked.
- We had babysitting services lined up through the hotels so non-locals could find someone.
- We allowed special cases - nursing babies; friends with exceptional circumstances and we had an on-site babysitter for the kids who did come.
While our kids were babies/toddlers - we missed a few weddings, went to more than a few solo while the other stayed home with the kids. now that they are bigger - babysitters are easy but now everyone's married
So enjoy the weddings while you can! Make it work and go have fun with your friends.