Anonymous wrote:Perhaps he is just feeling stressed about being a breadwinner. It is stressful, and it's hard to realize just how stressful it will be over the years when you're signing up for it when the kids are very little.

Maybe instead of a job for you (which could be its own logistical hassle and doesn't sound like what you guys want), perhaps you could offer to make and live on a budget for awhile that would be the budget of a lower-stress job for him. Pick a salary that might be in the range of what he would earn with a lower-stress, lower-paid job, try to live off of that for six months, and save up the extra money. It might give him the reassurance that you can live on less if you need, while at the same time you are helping (because living off of a tighter budget will likely require more out of you), so he might get more of a feeling of being on a team. In other words, you'd be putting your money where your mouth is as far as materialism, but without the change in lifestyle that would happen if you went back to work, and it's an easily reversible sort of thing.

Good luck, it sounds tough.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Read this: http://www.j-walk.com/other/goodwife/

do as it says for one week. Your husband will have love and sincere admiration for you spilling out of him. You can back off on some of the stepford stuff the following week but be sure to keep sex a priority and you'll soon discover your DH has a major crush on you.
Worked for me

Yuck. My husband would not respect a woman like this

Yes, he would. Seriously, try it, you can dial way back the following week but when you do this he won't know what hit him.
You will notice that he's looking at you with a completely different set of eyes, he will be jumping to help you do things around the house, he will be so excited to come home to see you.

Or you can go on thinking that he wants to come home to a complaining, shrill fishwife.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Read this: http://www.j-walk.com/other/goodwife/

do as it says for one week. Your husband will have love and sincere admiration for you spilling out of him. You can back off on some of the stepford stuff the following week but be sure to keep sex a priority and you'll soon discover your DH has a major crush on you.
Worked for me

Yuck. My husband would not respect a woman like this

Yes, he would. Seriously, try it, you can dial way back the following week but when you do this he won't know what hit him.
You will notice that he's looking at you with a completely different set of eyes, he will be jumping to help you do things around the house, he will be so excited to come home to see you.

Or you can go on thinking that he wants to come home to a complaining, shrill fishwife.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Read this: http://www.j-walk.com/other/goodwife/

do as it says for one week. Your husband will have love and sincere admiration for you spilling out of him. You can back off on some of the stepford stuff the following week but be sure to keep sex a priority and you'll soon discover your DH has a major crush on you.
Worked for me

Ick

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Read this: http://www.j-walk.com/other/goodwife/

do as it says for one week. Your husband will have love and sincere admiration for you spilling out of him. You can back off on some of the stepford stuff the following week but be sure to keep sex a priority and you'll soon discover your DH has a major crush on you.
Worked for me

Yuck. My husband would not respect a woman like this

Yes, he would. Seriously, try it, you can dial way back the following week but when you do this he won't know what hit him.
You will notice that he's looking at you with a completely different set of eyes, he will be jumping to help you do things around the house, he will be so excited to come home to see you.

Or you can go on thinking that he wants to come home to a complaining, shrill fishwife.

Anonymous wrote:Read this: http://www.j-walk.com/other/goodwife/

do as it says for one week. Your husband will have love and sincere admiration for you spilling out of him. You can back off on some of the stepford stuff the following week but be sure to keep sex a priority and you'll soon discover your DH has a major crush on you.
Worked for me

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Read this: http://www.j-walk.com/other/goodwife/

do as it says for one week. Your husband will have love and sincere admiration for you spilling out of him. You can back off on some of the stepford stuff the following week but be sure to keep sex a priority and you'll soon discover your DH has a major crush on you.
Worked for me

Yuck. My husband would not respect a woman like this

Anonymous wrote:Read this: http://www.j-walk.com/other/goodwife/

do as it says for one week. Your husband will have love and sincere admiration for you spilling out of him. You can back off on some of the stepford stuff the following week but be sure to keep sex a priority and you'll soon discover your DH has a major crush on you.
Worked for me

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Yes, I have two and I work full time. Once your kids are in school six to seven hours a day, that frees up a lot of time. I'm sorry, but groceries, cooking, cleaning, school activities, home repairs, etc., take up some time, but not 30 hours+ if you have basic organizational skills.

+100.

And this is why their husbands are fed up. It's stressful bring sole breadwinner. Throw in a wife that busts their balls for any bit of downtime or not taking the kids all weekend so she can have a 'break' and we see why men are fed up.

To all sons---don't fall for the woman that never plans to work once the kids come al

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men need a lot of babying and get jealous of the children. Maybe try a date night OP where you talk about him and not the children. He might need to have his ego boosted. I get that women shouldn't have to do this, but that's how it works unfortunately.

That is so insulting to men. So the bar for expecting him to communicate what his feelings and wants are should be lowered? According to PP, the wife should just figure it out and meet his needs without him even articulating what they are. What responsibility does he have for being a partner in the marriage and telling what he needs?

Sorry but I totally agree with PP. Men need a lot of babysitting. This is why I don't want to be married again, just date. Men require way too much care and feeding.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men need a lot of babying and get jealous of the children. Maybe try a date night OP where you talk about him and not the children. He might need to have his ego boosted. I get that women shouldn't have to do this, but that's how it works unfortunately.

That is so insulting to men. So the bar for expecting him to communicate what his feelings and wants are should be lowered? According to PP, the wife should just figure it out and meet his needs without him even articulating what they are. What responsibility does he have for being a partner in the marriage and telling what he needs?