Anonymous
Post 07/14/2014 03:51     Subject: Unexpected pregnancy in my 40s
Anonymous wrote:We had an unexpected pregnant late in life (45 and 47, and already had two girls, ages 10 & 12) and ultimately ended up terminating the pregnancy because we just weren't in a position to raise a baby. Three years later, with girls about to enter high school and our 50s looming in the horizon, I am VERY glad we made the choice we did.


Good for you for making the choice that worked for your family (even if it's not the choice everyone would make). THAT is being responsible and a good parent/spouse.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2014 03:50     Subject: Unexpected pregnancy in my 40s
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm sure DH is going to LOVE the teen years on his 70s , not to mention the diaper years in his 50s and the endless school years in his (not) retirement


That is one of the things they need to consider. Also, what happens if there are complications w birth? I nearly died at 28. DH had to do the childcare for two weeks. Is her DH completely on board? Will he help or expect her to do everything? It all depends on their personalities.

Good luck. You have a lot on your plate.


Wow, sorry to hear this, PP. I hope you are okay now!
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2014 03:32     Subject: Unexpected pregnancy in my 40s
Anonymous wrote:We had an unexpected pregnant late in life (45 and 47, and already had two girls, ages 10 & 12) and ultimately ended up terminating the pregnancy because we just weren't in a position to raise a baby. Three years later, with girls about to enter high school and our 50s looming in the horizon, I am VERY glad we made the choice we did.


Omg. There are no words for that.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2014 01:01     Subject: Unexpected pregnancy in my 40s
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm sure DH is going to LOVE the teen years on his 70s , not to mention the diaper years in his 50s and the endless school years in his (not) retirement


I bet he will. He will be thrilled he didn't miss out on being a dad and got a new chance at it. Also, every guy likes to prove his virility.


Or maybe he'll have a heart attack while she's in labor and its a moot point.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2014 00:48     Subject: Unexpected pregnancy in my 40s
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Am I the only person in DC area who actually had a completely planned pregnancy in my 20s? We had been married a couple years, had bought a home and had a steady income.

Sorry, it is just so odd that people act like all 20-something parents had oops/unplanned pregnancies and/or weren't ready to be parents.

I wish this poster well and have had plenty of 40 something mom friends. I don't know that we really parented our kids all that differently.



I got pregnant on bc. Its not as effective as you think! However, when we actively tried to get pregnant, nothing!


I'm confused - where in my post did I say anything about birth control? I mean, I guess an oops baby could be the result of failed birth control, but I wasn't really referring to that.

I am well aware of effectiveness of different birth control methods, though.

FWIW, I had secondary infertility and am only now expecting my second - 8.5 years later.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2014 00:48     Subject: Re:Unexpected pregnancy in my 40s
Anonymous wrote:Abortion is an option. Not a dirty word or nasty.


Right. Because killing your child because you failed to use bc and don't want a kid interfering with your retirement is a-ok!
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2014 00:42     Subject: Unexpected pregnancy in my 40s
We had an unexpected pregnant late in life (45 and 47, and already had two girls, ages 10 & 12) and ultimately ended up terminating the pregnancy because we just weren't in a position to raise a baby. Three years later, with girls about to enter high school and our 50s looming in the horizon, I am VERY glad we made the choice we did.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2014 00:31     Subject: Unexpected pregnancy in my 40s
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm sure DH is going to LOVE the teen years on his 70s , not to mention the diaper years in his 50s and the endless school years in his (not) retirement


There's a dad at my son's school who didn't have his kids til he was 70 and he seems to be doing just fine. Very involved with the school and his kids. This is really much more about the individual than the age.


How old is he now?

My FIL is mentally and physically fit. He is 75. My MIL passed a few years ago. She had health problems. My SIL has dementia and is 56. You just never know....

Anonymous
Post 07/14/2014 00:23     Subject: Unexpected pregnancy in my 40s
Anonymous wrote:I'm sure DH is going to LOVE the teen years on his 70s , not to mention the diaper years in his 50s and the endless school years in his (not) retirement


There's a dad at my son's school who didn't have his kids til he was 70 and he seems to be doing just fine. Very involved with the school and his kids. This is really much more about the individual than the age.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2014 00:22     Subject: Unexpected pregnancy in my 40s
Anonymous wrote:Am I the only person in DC area who actually had a completely planned pregnancy in my 20s? We had been married a couple years, had bought a home and had a steady income.

Sorry, it is just so odd that people act like all 20-something parents had oops/unplanned pregnancies and/or weren't ready to be parents.

I wish this poster well and have had plenty of 40 something mom friends. I don't know that we really parented our kids all that differently.



I got pregnant on bc. Its not as effective as you think! However, when we actively tried to get pregnant, nothing!
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2014 00:18     Subject: Unexpected pregnancy in my 40s
Anonymous wrote:I'm sure DH is going to LOVE the teen years on his 70s , not to mention the diaper years in his 50s and the endless school years in his (not) retirement


That is one of the things they need to consider. Also, what happens if there are complications w birth? I nearly died at 28. DH had to do the childcare for two weeks. Is her DH completely on board? Will he help or expect her to do everything? It all depends on their personalities.

Good luck. You have a lot on your plate.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2014 00:12     Subject: Re:Unexpected pregnancy in my 40s
Anonymous wrote:There's a lot of good screening now that can happen really early in the pregnancy. You can find out very early on if there are common genetic issues and terminate if that is your concern.

Also, you may miscarry, so try to stay calm and take things one day at a time.

Finally, if you don't want children, please use birth control. There was a whole thread recently on 40-something women not adequately preventing unwanted pregnancies. If this is a wanted pregnancy, great. If not, please be more cautious in the future.


+1

Start taking folic acid and prenatal vitamins.
Anonymous
Post 07/12/2014 15:43     Subject: Unexpected pregnancy in my 40s
OP, I had my 4th child a week before I turned 44. He was totally unplanned, but now I realize what an incredible gift he has been to our family. It hasn't been easy and there are many trade-offs, but he melts my heart every day. And he's the light of DH's life!!

I agree w/other PPs in that you should consult with your doctor and have all available testing. But don't lament that you're too old for this, because you are not.

Congratulations and best of luck!
Anonymous
Post 07/12/2014 14:35     Subject: Re:Unexpected pregnancy in my 40s
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Abortion is an option. Not a dirty word or nasty.


It's nasty to frighten someone into an abortion because YOU can't imagine having the child in question.


Not PP, but how is she "frightening" OP into an abortion? She is saying it's an option.

They are very old to become parents. It's life-altering. If one of them isn't on board, it's an option that they should investigate.

If I were 55-year-old DH, I don't know if this is what I'd want.
Anonymous
Post 07/12/2014 14:17     Subject: Re:Unexpected pregnancy in my 40s
Anonymous wrote:Abortion is an option. Not a dirty word or nasty.


It's nasty to frighten someone into an abortion because YOU can't imagine having the child in question.