Anonymous wrote:Re: a PP with the 6-times married mother - I can see if a parent had been married many times, each time unhappily, that you'd see marriage as maybe not the surefire way to happiness. You could get pretty disillusioned if your mom had a constant stream of boyfriends and husbands while you were growing up.

also, not every unmarried person has issues or trouble sustaining a relationship - there is a lot of luck and timing in finding an ideal spouse. (and some folks who married young or often are settling, and some people don't wish to do that.)

I agree w/ the 1st part, but not the 2nd. I do NOT believe there is such a thing as "an ideal spouse" and I do not believe its a matter of "luck."

Spouses are human. By nature, they are all flawed. Guess what? So are you. Deal with it.

Marrriages are also, by nature, "flawed" - but that is why most rational people agree that "marriages take work." What else would you expect from the union of 2 imperfect humans?

I reject the fairy-tale notion of knights in shining armor and princesses. But that's not to say marriages can't be wonderful, successful, happy partnerships; they just need to be seen in realistic terms.

Work > luck when it comes to healthy marriages.

Only person I know who has been married more than twice is my MIL, who is on her third marriage. First husband was when she was still a teenager, second in her mid-20s. Both were alcoholics and drug abusers, and generally real assholes (according to DH, who remembers both of them). MIL and DH's step-father are very devoted to one another and would never divorce, but I could see MIL getting married again if she were widowed.

Re: a PP with the 6-times married mother - I can see if a parent had been married many times, each time unhappily, that you'd see marriage as maybe not the surefire way to happiness. You could get pretty disillusioned if your mom had a constant stream of boyfriends and husbands while you were growing up.

also, not every unmarried person has issues or trouble sustaining a relationship - there is a lot of luck and timing in finding an ideal spouse. (and some folks who married young or often are settling, and some people don't wish to do that.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mother's been married 6 times. People wonder why I am single.

What does your Mother have to do with your ability to sustain a relationship?

How dumb are you to have to ask PP that??

I know a few people on marriage #3 but that's all.

I also know a few people who are twice-divorced and under 30.

Brother has been married and divorced 6 times, engaged at least 3 other times while still married and now planning to marry for the 7th time. He is around 72 or so. I think the women must be desperate or he must be good in bed because there is no way they are after him for his winning personality or fat wallet (neither is true.)

i know someone on his second marriage but that's about it.

Anonymous wrote:Mother's been married 6 times. People wonder why I am single.

What does your Mother have to do with your ability to sustain a relationship?

My exdh is on marriage 4- all before turning 40