Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You will get branded.

You will get to know the parents pretty well and they will be room parents. You will share your views with them and they will silently nod or say they understand but will be judging you and talk behind your back.

I get significant FA for my child so somehow that makes parents more comfortable talking to me about financial issues (idk why - probably they just feel less pressure) so I hear all about who is cheap, who doesn't donate enough, etc.

THIS. Anyone who tells you that no one at the school knows or cares is not telling you the truth. Believe me, WE ALL KNOW who gives and who doesn't. Some talk about it, some don't, but we all know. You will become THAT parent. It is just how it is at independent schools. If you are comfortable with that, then it's a non-issue.

PP, I am not the OP. We give the classroom gift for Holiday time, but give our own gift at the end of the year to the teacher. Is that NOT okay in private schools? Are the other parents talking about us for not participating in classroom gift?

I think all the posters chiming in about how great it is to have a diverse class are financial aid recipients. I don't care about having a diverse class. My kids ate in activities with diverse kids.

Private school teachers make A LOT less than public school teachers and still need to come up out of pocket for materials, etc. I am not sure if this is something known. I don't think those teachers are jet setting with their "bonuses". They are teachers. They are buying stuff for your kid, or to enrich the classroom experience most likely.

Anonymous wrote:It is absolutely horrific that people can not see the value of having a diverse mixture of children and families attending and being apart of the school community. Teachers are great but remove ......you know what? No matter what I write people are going to have a problem with FA families. The main reason my DC attends a private school is so they can have a diverse school experience than what they would receive at their lovely Mclean school.

Bwahahaha!

It is absolutely horrific that people can not see the value of having a diverse mixture of children and families attending and being apart of the school community. Teachers are great but remove ......you know what? No matter what I write people are going to have a problem with FA families. The main reason my DC attends a private school is so they can have a diverse school experience than what they would receive at their lovely Mclean school.

You will definitely be branded. I give to the teacher gift funds. I do not give to the FA fundraisers. I do give to the fun raisers for specific technology projects or school improvement projects.

DD is at a private school and we celebrate 4 times for the teachers during the year (birthday, christmas - christian school, teacher appreciation week, and end of the year gift). Rather than hit parents up for money before each event or ask them to send something 4 times we (room parents) ask for money up front at the beginning of each year. DD's class this year has 2 teachers (pre-k) and 16 students. Only one didn't contribute, she decided to do her own Christmas gift, and when asked if she wanted to contribute anything for teacher appreciation week (big at our school, the PTO does a huge thing for the teachers as well), bring in cupcakes/cookies or something one day, she ignored us. Of course we weren't going to single out one child, so still told the teachers the gifts were from everyone, but there's definitely a label now for this one family. We don't care if they don't have the money, if that's the case just tell us, don't ignore us, be rude, etc.

So yes, you will be labeled. The teacher is obviously getting paid but if you think they're doing a great job why not show it?

Anonymous wrote:When we first applied for our child to attend a private school, we knew nothing about the annual fund raising, auction, etc. we both attended public and didn't know any one who had ever gone private. And mercifully, I did not discover DCUM until a few years later. The tuition seemed shockingly high, but we swallowed hard and decided to give a try at least for a few years.

We quickly learned that the school wanted even more from us financially ... We gave a small amount but were really quite shocked. Over the years, the resentment began to grow as the school asked again and again and again. Our child is now done at the school and moved on and they STILL ask for money every year. I wish they could at least find a way to ask less often.

I guess it all depends on what you want to spend your money on.

didn't do it. just didn't never any repercussions and I never think about it. very happy with the school.

Tuition is high because your school engaged in the sports fields and facilities arms race. Your kid enjoys these, and so do you, probably. Don't punish the teachers for that.

All schools ask for money. Doesn't your college? Sometimes the tenor of the fund raising shifts depending on who is in the lead. Hopefully, all being asked are respected.

I figure the school is there because people before me donated for it to be there. My tuition doesn't pay for the buildings, grounds, library, separate outdoor education campus. Other people contributed a long time ago for those things to be there now. I do not have the kind of income many at the school have, but I do give something every year.