I am so out of the game I don't think I would recognize that a woman was hitting on me unless she said "I am hitting on you"!

So it sounds like the married men who are pursued are of the rich and powerful variety? That would explain why my DH doesn't get propositioned! He's adorable and sweet but just a regular dude. And I'm glad for that!

So strange to read how common this is.
I don't know any women personally, single or attached, who flirt with the intention of pursuing married men. I have two friends who were pursued by married men back when they were single, young and vulnerable and they did engage in affairs (which they now deeply regret). But both relationships were initiated by the men and their marital status wasn't perceived as a positive by any means. I really just can't fathom it (and I'm not just talking about benign flirting).

Anonymous wrote:"I keep reading on this forum about the how number of unmarried, professional, young women in this area far outnumber the available and eligible men."

Just because you read something (on an anonymous forum) doesn't mean it true!

It is actually true!

Signed, an AA woman"

No, I'm sorry, there is no data, census or otherwise, that shows this. You might be able to find some data regarding the city of D.C., but that doesn't show the gender balance over the entire DMV. And it doesn't break down by age (i.e. eliminating the fact that women live longer than men, so in the 70+ age range there generally are more women than men). And while some data will show married vs. unmarried, there's certainly no data indicating how many of the unmarrieds are truly single (meaning not living with a partner or in a LTR).

Right...thanks for that. I will be sure to let the single professional AA girlfriends know this when they complain that they are having problems finding single professional AA men.

No only single women hook up with married men.

Anonymous wrote:When I was in my 20s and working as a lawyer in a law firm, nothing was more unattractive to me than a married, male partner. BUT I knew it was happening and I know it happens. I was not attracted to them physically, and really, nothing about their lives was appealing to me.

One younger partner was married to a gorgeous woman, he was so nice and normal, and they had two really cute kids. I can honestly say, even though I thought, wow, he's a great guy...I never even considered in my fantasies, hitting on him or wanting to be with him.

Now that I'm 40s with two kids and a divorce...my opinion has not changed. The last thing I want is someone else's husband. If it's just for sex, I'm going with a single guy in his 30s! And if for money, better to go for an older single guy -- if divorced, he's sorted out the money issues, and if not, then there's your sugar daddy.

This is me...and no I'm not looking for that older, single sugar daddy. I meant that these young women should pursue that guy, not the married guy.

When I was in my 20s and working as a lawyer in a law firm, nothing was more unattractive to me than a married, male partner. BUT I knew it was happening and I know it happens. I was not attracted to them physically, and really, nothing about their lives was appealing to me.

One younger partner was married to a gorgeous woman, he was so nice and normal, and they had two really cute kids. I can honestly say, even though I thought, wow, he's a great guy...I never even considered in my fantasies, hitting on him or wanting to be with him.

Now that I'm 40s with two kids and a divorce...my opinion has not changed. The last thing I want is someone else's husband. If it's just for sex, I'm going with a single guy in his 30s! And if for money, better to go for an older single guy -- if divorced, he's sorted out the money issues, and if not, then there's your sugar daddy.

"I keep reading on this forum about the how number of unmarried, professional, young women in this area far outnumber the available and eligible men."

Just because you read something (on an anonymous forum) doesn't mean it true!

It is actually true!

Signed, an AA woman"

No, I'm sorry, there is no data, census or otherwise, that shows this. You might be able to find some data regarding the city of D.C., but that doesn't show the gender balance over the entire DMV. And it doesn't break down by age (i.e. eliminating the fact that women live longer than men, so in the 70+ age range there generally are more women than men). And while some data will show married vs. unmarried, there's certainly no data indicating how many of the unmarrieds are truly single (meaning not living with a partner or in a LTR).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH has never been hit on.

Mine gets hit on a lot - sometimes in front of me.

Is this at work functions, or more public places like bars?

Both

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I keep reading on this forum about the how number of unmarried, professional, young women in this area far outnumber the available and eligible men. Does that mean that older, married, wealthy professional men become a target?

This is a load of crap. Seriously, say there are 12 single women for every 10 single men. So in a room of 22 people hypothetically two people would not have a partner. Big deal. There are always single professional guys out there looking for dates. It's not like they are off fighting a war in wound up in prison.

Believe it is a load of crap at your peril. Among certain demographics, there is a big gap and that plays out on the dating scene.

Which demographics? What gap? Please elucidate on your theory so we can follow it? Thanks.

Among AA's in this area. It is not a theory. There is a shortage of eligible AA men in this area compared to elgible AA women. May not be relevant or noticeable to you, but it is to AA women who are on the dating scene.

This thread is filled with great DHs, thanks guys!

Anonymous wrote:ALL.THE.TIME

+1

DH here, professionally successful and conventionally attractive, and yes I get hit on somewhat regularly although it heavily depends on the situation. Not really so much at the grocery store or gym or mundane routine places. All the time at professional events where the suits are on and the alcohol is flowing.

Here is what you learn pretty quickly. Yes, the younger single girls are attractive, it's an ego boost and a wonderful image for fantasies. But the truth is, the youngrt women that would sleep with you aren't looking for a one night stand. They are attracted to you because of your status/power. They want the fancy lifestyle you represent. So unless you are miserable in your marriage or really willing to risk your home life, it isn't worth the risk of pursuing an affair.

Even married women hit on married men here. It's rampant. I've been a victim and a dear friend has also. For those women who don't believe it, your husbands must be enjoying it too much to or they'd tell you.

Interesting topic.

It happens to me, although since I'm a man it probably happens less frequently than I imagine...

So some background: I'm married with three kids and am a DC-area professional in a large office environment.

In my experience I tend to receive attention from women who are, frankly, punching above their weight. Some of the attention, and in this it was pretty clear what was going on, came from women in their late 20s/early 30s who didn't care for the local men in their age groups who are available. They may be saddled with a lot of debt from school, they may be obsessed (for lack of a better word) with video games, or they may just not have a lot of direction yet. In that environment, being a stable guy with a decent life and an established career can be pretty seductive. In my office particularly, there's also a transient element, by which I mean that some of these women moved to DC for the job and don't have established support networks yet.

All that said, at least in my case my wife has nothing to worry about. Like I tell her, there's zero chance of me jumping into bed with a 20-something, because after that first 30 minutes what are we going to talk about...?