I am 10:42. Given several of your posts, I wonder if what you really need is a good educational advocate and not an educational psychologist? It sounds like you already have an assessment/diagnosis that the school is willing to accept. As I think you said upthread, the educational psychologists are not really positioned to give very specific recommendations about instructional approaches nor about IEP goals (although you are at private so "IEP" per se doesn't apply).

We used a very good educational advocate -- Rich Weinfeld at the Weinfeld Group. As founder of the group, he also has various professionals who can help -- a teacher who can look at goals, various ed or neuropsychs, etc. He himself was a teacher and founded the gifted program in MCPS. He is considered an expert in GT/2E issues. I believe his own son had problems in school as well.

Rich could help you figure out if you need more data for your school, attend meetings with you to suggest instructional approaches, recommend tutors if necessary, or help you evaluate if another school would be a better fit.

It sounds to me like you need to put a good "general contractor" on your job site/kid problem -- one who can help you coordinate all the sub-contractors and interface with the school.

OP here. These school recommendations are very helpful and constructive. thank you !

DS is actually doing fairly well and we've managed to maintain a civil tone, my posts notwithstanding. He has had a neuropsych assessment done in the past. We've proposed strategies that have been effective on the classroom. Peace reigns at least outwardly. The school has been open to suggestions which is why we are looking for someone with experience reaching boys. His teachers are also crazy about him personally.

I don't see how someone can be an effective educational psychologist or neuro unless they have expertise in teaching and classroom management. Otherwise how can teachers translate any of this into effective teaching. Specifically in our case, teaching boys.

The issue is that we see this as a pedagogical issue not really a question that needs to be pathologized. It may well be time to consider a more suitable school. I don't want accommodations when what is needed is more effective teaching. He is not at any of the schools identified here.

I would be very interested in hearing about folks experience in all boys schools. We have come to see gender differences as a major part of the issue.

Agree with the PP that you need to move beyond the gender issue. What you're talking about is learning differences, not gender differences. And, a psychologist isn't who you'd look for practical teaching strategies, you need a special educator.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"because I'm a guy" hasn't made it into the DSM yet, OP.

being a forgetful slob with crappy handwriting could be chalked up to dysgraphia as well not just ADHD.

Why does everything have to be in the DSM for it to be recognized. On average boys develop fine motor skills and non verbal que reading skills later than girls. Why can't teacher just get it?

Later is one thing. OP's kid is 10--that's not just being on the later side. A child this age should be able to write legibly and keep track of homework. These are skills that some kids need help with even if the don't have a formal diagnosis.

And boys' schools expect ten yr olds boys to be able to keep track of homework and write legibly and sit still and pay attention in class...

- signed mother of a boy with these same issues who has an IEP in public school whose brothers all attended all boys' schools.

Anonymous wrote:OP, good luck finding an objective ally. As you can tell from all the armchair diagnoses here, you are dealing largely with folks who have drunk the koolaid that developmental differences between children reflect syndromes or disorders that need to be treated. Don't give up. Your kid will thank you someday for preventing the educational system from crushing him for its own convenience.

No, ding dong. OP's posting to the SN forum; that's the perspective we're coming from. Many LDs affect boys disproportionately. I have a boy at an SN school, I can tell you that keeping track of homework, completing it, and turning it in is required. You don't get to use I'm a boy or I have a special need as an excuse.

OP, I think you are in a little bit of denial as to why your kid is having trouble with learning these skills, however if you're convinced that a different pedagogical approach would be more helpful, I would suggest that you research boys schools in this area and search and/or post in the private schools forum for feedback on what schools you think would be a good match. You can't expect a school to change it's teaching strategies to accommodate one kid. And who knows, you might find a school better suited to your son.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"because I'm a guy" hasn't made it into the DSM yet, OP.

being a forgetful slob with crappy handwriting could be chalked up to dysgraphia as well not just ADHD.

Why does everything have to be in the DSM for it to be recognized. On average boys develop fine motor skills and non verbal que reading skills later than girls. Why can't teacher just get it?

Later is one thing. OP's kid is 10--that's not just being on the later side. A child this age should be able to write legibly and keep track of homework. These are skills that some kids need help with even if the don't have a formal diagnosis.

I have two boys and they are both active and completely different. I would not assume a boys' school would meet both of their needs just because they are boys. You really need to move beyond seeing this though a gendered lens and look at your kid's needs.

OP here. These school recommendations are very helpful and constructive. thank you !

DS is actually doing fairly well and we've managed to maintain a civil tone, my posts notwithstanding. He has had a neuropsych assessment done in the past. We've proposed strategies that have been effective on the classroom. Peace reigns at least outwardly. The school has been open to suggestions which is why we are looking for someone with experience reaching boys. His teachers are also crazy about him personally.

I don't see how someone can be an effective educational psychologist or neuro unless they have expertise in teaching and classroom management. Otherwise how can teachers translate any of this into effective teaching. Specifically in our case, teaching boys.

The issue is that we see this as a pedagogical issue not really a question that needs to be pathologized. It may well be time to consider a more suitable school. I don't want accommodations when what is needed is more effective teaching. He is not at any of the schools identified here.

I would be very interested in hearing about folks experience in all boys schools. We have come to see gender differences as a major part of the issue.

This is PP - besides the school recommendations, I do second recommendation for a neuropsych eval. It is very handy to know IQ and specific learning issues.

Other option is to move away from a major metro area except maybe Boise!