Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you and DH have tons of money AND tons of vacation time? I would suck it up for this one week to make him happy. You can choose one of your many other week-long vacations with just your nuclear family. Seriously, have some gratitude for how lucky you are with your life.

It's not like a beach vacation is *that* expensive. It's about 6k for the rental. Then another 1k or so for food and gas. We visit my parents every year, which is free aside from gas money. Then we take two nicer family vacations that are between 5-10k (which sounds like a lot but you have to remember, airfare for 5 people isn't cheap). And then we typically tag along on the retreat that H's company does for employees and their families, some of which is comped. The long weekend trips are typically spent skiing in the Poconos or Adirondacks. I like getting away, which why I hesitate to use some of our vacation budget for a more extravagant beach trip.

^ But you're right, we are very fortunate. I am grateful. And you guys are right in pointing out that DH probably does like to be able to invite his family along on this trip. I need to stop being a brat about it.

Anonymous wrote:So you and DH have tons of money AND tons of vacation time? I would suck it up for this one week to make him happy. You can choose one of your many other week-long vacations with just your nuclear family. Seriously, have some gratitude for how lucky you are with your life.

It's not like a beach vacation is *that* expensive. It's about 6k for the rental. Then another 1k or so for food and gas. We visit my parents every year, which is free aside from gas money. Then we take two nicer family vacations that are between 5-10k (which sounds like a lot but you have to remember, airfare for 5 people isn't cheap). And then we typically tag along on the retreat that H's company does for employees and their families, some of which is comped. The long weekend trips are typically spent skiing in the Poconos or Adirondacks. I like getting away, which why I hesitate to use some of our vacation budget for a more extravagant beach trip.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP --is it just grandparents on this trip or cousins, siblings too?

G

OP here. It's DH's parents, his two siblings, my SIL, and sometimes my BIL brings someone too.

So 2 sibs who are single? How old are they?

Sorry, he has two brothers. One is married. The other one occasionally brings a gf.

Anonymous wrote:A number of people have proposed switching off every other year -- it's not clear to me why that's not a viable compromise?

OP here. It's kind of turned into a tradition. We started it when our youngest was a baby. At the time, we figured, hey we rented this huge house for the three of us, might as well invite some other people to fill it. It's not like the cost would change either way for us. Then it kind of steam rolled and now this is the seventh year we'll all go down together. It's hard to suggest altering it in any significant way now. And they all look forward to it (except from my SIL probably. We've never talked about it but I get an eye rolly feeling from her wrt the OBX trip, lol). Either we change locations and they come with us or we just stop. But that will be awkward too and require some kind of explanation. It probably would hurt their feelings, which I don't want to do. I guess I'll just try to convince DH to spend more on a house in a northern beach next year.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP --is it just grandparents on this trip or cousins, siblings too?

G

OP here. It's DH's parents, his two siblings, my SIL, and sometimes my BIL brings someone too.

So 2 sibs who are single? How old are they?

Anonymous wrote:OP --is it just grandparents on this trip or cousins, siblings too?

G

OP here. It's DH's parents, his two siblings, my SIL, and sometimes my BIL brings someone too.

So you and DH have tons of money AND tons of vacation time? I would suck it up for this one week to make him happy. You can choose one of your many other week-long vacations with just your nuclear family. Seriously, have some gratitude for how lucky you are with your life.

Anonymous wrote:Is dh white and from the Carolinas? Going to the same bech with the extended family as a very standard tradition for white families from nc and sc. Bucking that would be huge.

I know some AA families that partake, surprisingly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get that OBX traffic sucks but there is just no way you can say that the Cape is about the same trip. You'd have to be comparing driving to the Cape in the middle of the night with driving to OBX at the peak time, and it would still probably take longer to get to the Cape.

Not much longer = totally worth it.

I grew up in MA and we went to the Cape every summer, and let me tell you, the traffic SUCKS. It can take hours just waiting to get over one of the bridges. I don't know which part of the Cape you are planning on, but God help you if you're on Rt. 6. When I've been back in recent years, it's even worse!

Not if you time it right.

A number of people have proposed switching off every other year -- it's not clear to me why that's not a viable compromise?

OP: If I were you I would resent paying for the entire family AND having to do it every year. Let them do some of the planning. You do outgrow situations. Just don't be dramatic about it. No need to run around all vacation going -- this is the last time! Just state it and let the others take a hint. We used to do the group thing all the time, then I realized that we were paying for everything and I was not loving it.

Anonymous wrote:I kind of agree-- if this was your only time off that would be one thing, but if it's one of 4-5 weeks off and you would just be swapping one beach location for another I think you should suck it up for the family. Honestly, Nantucket has nothing going on, and MV and the Cape aren't the paradises some people seem to suggest they are (not that they aren't great, but it's not like you are missing out on anything-- and why not take a long weekend to MV if you want to check it out)/

This was my reaction. You can go to different places the other 3-4 weeks you take vacation. Your husband enjoys this. If you have issues with the amount of time you spend with his family, deal with those head-on.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get that OBX traffic sucks but there is just no way you can say that the Cape is about the same trip. You'd have to be comparing driving to the Cape in the middle of the night with driving to OBX at the peak time, and it would still probably take longer to get to the Cape.

Not much longer = totally worth it.

I grew up in MA and we went to the Cape every summer, and let me tell you, the traffic SUCKS. It can take hours just waiting to get over one of the bridges. I don't know which part of the Cape you are planning on, but God help you if you're on Rt. 6. When I've been back in recent years, it's even worse!

Is dh white and from the Carolinas? Going to the same bech with the extended family as a very standard tradition for white families from nc and sc. Bucking that would be huge.

Anonymous wrote:I get that OBX traffic sucks but there is just no way you can say that the Cape is about the same trip. You'd have to be comparing driving to the Cape in the middle of the night with driving to OBX at the peak time, and it would still probably take longer to get to the Cape.

Not much longer = totally worth it.