Anonymous
Post 06/01/2014 22:21     Subject: Parents, How Much $ Did/Will You Allocate for Allowance?
Anonymous wrote:Any discussion relative to the amount of allowance for your sons vs daughters?

We're dealing with this now. DD spends way more than her brother on "necessities" (lots of health and beauty stuff, Rx's and clothes, not to mention the spay tans and manicures she'd like routinely).
Anonymous
Post 06/01/2014 22:07     Subject: Parents, How Much $ Did/Will You Allocate for Allowance?
Any discussion relative to the amount of allowance for your sons vs daughters?
Anonymous
Post 05/31/2014 20:39     Subject: Parents, How Much $ Did/Will You Allocate for Allowance?
No. College was pretty easy for me. I worked about 10 hours per week as needed to make my financial aid package work. My parents didn't give me money and I didn't expect them to. But it was easy compared to high school where I had many more hours of class, 4 APs usually and worked about 10 hours per week then too.
Anonymous
Post 05/31/2014 20:23     Subject: Parents, How Much $ Did/Will You Allocate for Allowance?
Anonymous wrote:I'm sure most of us here went to college. Did you really find it to be full time job? I went to a top college, worked hard, got good grades. Still had plenty of time to work 10-12 hours a week and play hard, too. Best time of my life. Working a bit didn't get in the way of any of it, and it provided me with spending money and some interesting experiences. Oh yeah, met DH at the job, too.

Yes. I was an engineering major with 18-21 credits hours per semester while my History major roommate and her liberal arts friends had 15 credit hours a semester. The difference in amount a free time was about ridiculous. Of course, I also had a job, while most of them did not.
Anonymous
Post 05/31/2014 20:13     Subject: Parents, How Much $ Did/Will You Allocate for Allowance?
Anonymous wrote:I'm sure most of us here went to college. Did you really find it to be full time job? I went to a top college, worked hard, got good grades. Still had plenty of time to work 10-12 hours a week and play hard, too. Best time of my life. Working a bit didn't get in the way of any of it, and it provided me with spending money and some interesting experiences. Oh yeah, met DH at the job, too.


Yes. I had a ton of undiagnosed learning disabilities. Home work that took you one hour took me three. You studied for an hour, while I met with a tutor for two hours and then studied further on my own for two hours. I was so relieved when everyone went out at night to party, because that meant the dorms would be quieter and I'd get distracted less often. In the mornings while you were sleeping off a hangover I was back at my desk trying to get through what was taught but I hadn't learned. And I didn't go to a hard school. I could have gone to 7th grade at age 18 and would have struggled just as much. I went to the easiest school that would give me a degree which would lead to a full-time job. You called your mom to talk all about the interesting things you were learning and boys you were dating while I called my mom to ask her to explain assignments to me and what she thought the teacher meant. Maybe you went to a professor's office hours once a semester? I went almost once a week. I worked my ASS off in college. It was much more than a full time job. I did not have time to work part time or "play hard." Oh and I didn't get good grades. I passed. And I was relieved to pass because sometimes I failed despite working hard. School is simply not my thing.
Anonymous
Post 05/31/2014 20:02     Subject: Parents, How Much $ Did/Will You Allocate for Allowance?
Anonymous wrote:I'm sure most of us here went to college. Did you really find it to be full time job? I went to a top college, worked hard, got good grades. Still had plenty of time to work 10-12 hours a week and play hard, too. Best time of my life. Working a bit didn't get in the way of any of it, and it provided me with spending money and some interesting experiences. Oh yeah, met DH at the job, too.


Good for you ! Wouldn't have been me .

Yes, it was like work--with plenty of time to socialize, join groups, and have fun . Work was for summer and not to be crammed in between classes and studying.
Anonymous
Post 05/31/2014 17:40     Subject: Parents, How Much $ Did/Will You Allocate for Allowance?
I'm sure most of us here went to college. Did you really find it to be full time job? I went to a top college, worked hard, got good grades. Still had plenty of time to work 10-12 hours a week and play hard, too. Best time of my life. Working a bit didn't get in the way of any of it, and it provided me with spending money and some interesting experiences. Oh yeah, met DH at the job, too.
Anonymous
Post 05/31/2014 17:37     Subject: Parents, How Much $ Did/Will You Allocate for Allowance?
I'm sure most of us here went to college. Did you really find it to be full time job? I went to a top college, worked hard, got good grades. Still had plenty of time to work 10-12 hours a week and play hard, too. Best time of my life. Working a bit didn't get in the way of any of it, and it provided me with spending money and some interesting experiences. Oh yeah, met DH at the job, too.
Anonymous
Post 05/31/2014 17:28     Subject: Parents, How Much $ Did/Will You Allocate for Allowance?
Biweekly: every two weeks or twice a week. The salon visits are every two weeks.
Anonymous
Post 05/31/2014 16:52     Subject: Re:Parents, How Much $ Did/Will You Allocate for Allowance?
0. I'd consider paying for meals, housing and the occasional once a year mall trip to get clothes but that's it. If they want to go to college that will be their responsibility. I am willing to help them find ways to make money however
Anonymous
Post 05/31/2014 16:02     Subject: Parents, How Much $ Did/Will You Allocate for Allowance?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Daddy pays. Do they outgrow that mentality?


Absolutely. I am proof of that. When I was in 11th grade and got a driving permit, my father gave me an "emergency credit card." It had my name on it but the bill went to him. I was to use it in any sort of driving emergency. In 12th grade, I would often get sent on errands (pharmacy, supermarket, post office) and get told to pay for the errands with the credit card. I took the credit card to college. Again, it was only for some sort of huge emergency. My parents deposited $200 a month into a bank for me, which I could pull out with an ATM card. I never used the credit card. After college, maybe 6 months after I'd been working full time, I'd gotten my own credit card. I handed the emergency credit card back to my dad one day. "I haven't used this in a really long time. The credit limit on my cc is $2,000. Thanks, but I don't think I need this backup any more."

My parents gave me juuuuuuust enough that I didn't have to struggle, but DID have to plan and budget. It left me respectful of how much things cost, the concept of saving, etc. That's why I give my college-aged kids (and being that each headed off to college at 16, they WERE kids) money. Again, enough that they can get by, IF they pay attention to sales, and budget wisely.

*My guess for the twice-a-week salon visits: her kid is on a dance or cheer team. There are requirements for your hair, makeup, etc. My guess is the kid can't do her own hair the way the team requires, so she's going twice a week to have it done so she looks appropriate for games and appearances as a member of the team.


I agree that it's "just to get by" money which teaches them to budget while in college. No one's saying children should be given thousands. Just enough to take care of toiletries, other personal items, entertainment, pizza nights with friends, those snacks he can't be without, etc.

I plan to have money deposited directly into DS's account biweekly. He's already responsible enough to know not to ask me for more than what I give him. He also knows to be beyond grateful that I'm GIVING him money freely. He had to work for it as a teen at home. Between chores and his paid job, he learned responsibility before leaving home. Most kids do--which is why I'm stunned to hear from parents hoping to teach their children to be responsible now that they're college age. That lesson should've been taught from the time they were given allowance for doing chores.
Anonymous
Post 05/31/2014 15:30     Subject: Parents, How Much $ Did/Will You Allocate for Allowance?
Anonymous wrote:Daddy pays. Do they outgrow that mentality?


Absolutely. I am proof of that. When I was in 11th grade and got a driving permit, my father gave me an "emergency credit card." It had my name on it but the bill went to him. I was to use it in any sort of driving emergency. In 12th grade, I would often get sent on errands (pharmacy, supermarket, post office) and get told to pay for the errands with the credit card. I took the credit card to college. Again, it was only for some sort of huge emergency. My parents deposited $200 a month into a bank for me, which I could pull out with an ATM card. I never used the credit card. After college, maybe 6 months after I'd been working full time, I'd gotten my own credit card. I handed the emergency credit card back to my dad one day. "I haven't used this in a really long time. The credit limit on my cc is $2,000. Thanks, but I don't think I need this backup any more."

My parents gave me juuuuuuust enough that I didn't have to struggle, but DID have to plan and budget. It left me respectful of how much things cost, the concept of saving, etc. That's why I give my college-aged kids (and being that each headed off to college at 16, they WERE kids) money. Again, enough that they can get by, IF they pay attention to sales, and budget wisely.

*My guess for the twice-a-week salon visits: her kid is on a dance or cheer team. There are requirements for your hair, makeup, etc. My guess is the kid can't do her own hair the way the team requires, so she's going twice a week to have it done so she looks appropriate for games and appearances as a member of the team.
Anonymous
Post 05/31/2014 15:26     Subject: Parents, How Much $ Did/Will You Allocate for Allowance?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It's not about creating hardships, it's about growing up. I want my children to have part time jobs because I think there is great value in them. Responsibility, hard work, team work, etc. It's a learning experience. I also think it is valuable for children of relative privilege to have experience working in lower skill jobs. IME, it builds appreciation for the hard work that people do and fosters respect and empathy.

I also believe strongly that there is value in learning to make do, hold off on making purchases, delay gratification. To learn to budget time and money wisely.

There may be many ways for kids to learn these skills/lessons, but one of the best ways I know is to be given some responsibility for one's own care and feeding. I don't believe that college should be an extension of childhood but rather the start of adulthood. It's the perfect time to start being in charge of one of the most essential life skills--the ability to take care of yourself.

My kids know that we are here to help out with any problems they can't solve on their own. But they also know that we are confident in their abilities to handle most of the day to day issues that arise. And they also know better than to think I'm going to pay for the beer.


I agree. College is NOT an extension of childhood. That's why they're living on their own without Mommy and Daddy's rules and curfews. They'll have to make decisions such as party vs. study on their own without Mommy and Daddy's intervention. They'll have to troubleshoot their own problems, learn to live with and around people from various backgrounds, cultures, etc. College is a TRANSITION into adulthood. After that experience, they should be able to work with others in the workplace, learn how to make wise decisions for themselves, engage in responsible behavior, etc.



PS: Meant to add that providing financial support will not prevent your child from growing and maturing. In addition to growing up w/o Mommy and Daddy's watchful eye, they're studying for long hours and preparing for their futures. How in the world parents can be okay with their children working part-time in addition to that is beyond me.

If you can't support them that's one thing. But to make a willful decision to make your children struggle in the name of 'growing up' is ridiculous to me.
Anonymous
Post 05/31/2014 15:21     Subject: Parents, How Much $ Did/Will You Allocate for Allowance?
Anonymous wrote:It's not about creating hardships, it's about growing up. I want my children to have part time jobs because I think there is great value in them. Responsibility, hard work, team work, etc. It's a learning experience. I also think it is valuable for children of relative privilege to have experience working in lower skill jobs. IME, it builds appreciation for the hard work that people do and fosters respect and empathy.

I also believe strongly that there is value in learning to make do, hold off on making purchases, delay gratification. To learn to budget time and money wisely.

There may be many ways for kids to learn these skills/lessons, but one of the best ways I know is to be given some responsibility for one's own care and feeding. I don't believe that college should be an extension of childhood but rather the start of adulthood. It's the perfect time to start being in charge of one of the most essential life skills--the ability to take care of yourself.

My kids know that we are here to help out with any problems they can't solve on their own. But they also know that we are confident in their abilities to handle most of the day to day issues that arise. And they also know better than to think I'm going to pay for the beer.


I agree. College is NOT an extension of childhood. That's why they're living on their own without Mommy and Daddy's rules and curfews. They'll have to make decisions such as party vs. study on their own without Mommy and Daddy's intervention. They'll have to troubleshoot their own problems, learn to live with and around people from various backgrounds, cultures, etc. College is a TRANSITION into adulthood. After that experience, they should be able to work with others in the workplace, learn how to make wise decisions for themselves, engage in responsible behavior, etc.

Anonymous
Post 05/31/2014 15:07     Subject: Parents, How Much $ Did/Will You Allocate for Allowance?
Anonymous wrote:It's not about creating hardships, it's about growing up. I want my children to have part time jobs because I think there is great value in them. Responsibility, hard work, team work, etc. It's a learning experience. I also think it is valuable for children of relative privilege to have experience working in lower skill jobs. IME, it builds appreciation for the hard work that people do and fosters respect and empathy.

I also believe strongly that there is value in learning to make do, hold off on making purchases, delay gratification. To learn to budget time and money wisely.

There may be many ways for kids to learn these skills/lessons, but one of the best ways I know is to be given some responsibility for one's own care and feeding. I don't believe that college should be an extension of childhood but rather the start of adulthood. It's the perfect time to start being in charge of one of the most essential life skills--the ability to take care of yourself.

My kids know that we are here to help out with any problems they can't solve on their own. But they also know that we are confident in their abilities to handle most of the day to day issues that arise. And they also know better than to think I'm going to pay for the beer.


It's your child so do whatever. As for me, I plan to assist my child in maximizing all the opportunities the undergrad experience has to offer.

I used your 'growing up' logic while he was in HS. He worked part-time to pay for extras like gas money, entertainment, spending, etc--and also to learn how to be responsible, show up for work on time, work with others of varying backgrounds etc.

That responsibility foundation was built at home during his teens. I'm looking forward to seeing him apply it to his college studies. A full load of college courses is a full-time job in itself (which is why you rarely--if ever--see kids taking a bunch of AP courses bogged down with a job). In addition to those classes, I want him to fully enjoy the undergrad life of organizations, friendships and even those super long study sessions.

I didn't work during college but believe me, you learn all of those lessons about budgeting, delaying gratification etc once you're faced with real life responsibilities (like rent, car expenses, etc) and a starting salary in your dream career. Nearly every adult I know had to 'rough it' during those early 20s with roommates, skipped meals, etc. Not working during undergrad did not cause us to break. We stepped up to the plate knowing that we'd just spent 4 years preparing for the 'real world stuff'.

Oh yes, real life will be waiting for our children on the other side of that degree. The purpose of college, IME is to prepare them for it.